"Would you like a pineapple for £1?"
This is what I have to ask every customer that I serve while I am at work. Only for this week, you understand. We have to 'upsell' a different product every week, and this week is the turn of the pineapple. Usually we roll our eyes when we find out what the product is, but for some reason this one makes me laugh. In fact, I laugh practically every time that I say it. Trouble is, the customers usually laugh right back (which in itself isn't actually a bad thing), but then decline the fabulous opportunity to buy some exotic fruit.
We had to upsell pineapples around a year ago too (obviously The People Upstairs - i.e. those who have no clue about what it is like to work with the general public - have these upselling items on some sort of schedule), and they didn't sell very well then, either.
I usually buy whatever the current upsell is - sometimes more than one if it is something I will use - so I dutifully bought a pineapple yesterday. I'm not sure yet what to do with it. Sure, I could go the normal route and eat it, but the girls are coming over Friday night for an evening of drink and silliness, so the possibilities are endless.
Ok, maybe not endless, but last year, as coincidence would have it, the girls (and guys) came over for drinkies the same week we had pineapples for upselling too, and we did this:
Still, as much as pineapples make me giggle (for no specific reason), at least it's not as bad as last week, when we had crumpets. Now, for you to understand why crumpets were so bad, you need to know two things. One, for those of you not in the UK, crumpets are otherwise known as English muffins - you toast them and smother them in lovely, lovely butter. But the key reason why they were a bad upsell is point number two - in Britain, 'crumpet' is a slang word for sex. So every time I asked someone if they wanted any crumpets for £1, well... you can imagine. It should be noted, too, that the majority of our customers are men. Of a certain age. Really, the joke wore thin after the first ten minutes.
Next week it's 'Snickers'. 69p each, or two for £1. Oh, joy.
Image self-taken. Obviously. *snort*