Princess of Procrastination

Today's Special Offer!

2012-02-09T15:29:00.000Z

OK, so I have a dirty mind, but honestly, sometimes things are just begging to be misconstrued...

Lellied Again...

2012-02-06T19:48:00.000Z

There was an inset day today at my daughter's school, which meant that she had a three-day weekend. With the weather being cold, and the Smith family not owning a car, we spent the day at home. Ellie, being the creative child that she is, diligently spent the afternoon upstairs, only showing her face to ask odd questions such as 'Can I use one of the big glue sticks?' and 'What are the colours of the rainbow again?'

I was puzzled, but left her to it (I have learnt that this is the best way to deal with my ten year old). Half an hour ago she came downstairs giggling and hiding something behind her back. Mum and dad had to participate in her little game, which consisted of a piece of paper with an alarmingly scary-looking face drawn on it, and a rainbow/heart/pocket thingy glued next to it.

Apparently, it was a lucky dip. We each had to pull something from behind a the rainbow. I won £20, while the hubby won £5 (*snicker*). Alas, it was not real money, but the thirty seconds or so of fun (following around two hours of drawing, writing and sticking) was well worth it according to my daughter.

Playpuss

2012-02-05T19:34:00.000Z

Whenever my daughter brings her toys into the living room, one of the kitties gets involved. I tried my best to capture Belle when she was trying desperately to pull some of my daughter's Polly Pocket dolls from the toy pile, but alas, you'll have to settle for a picture of her standing guard over her hoard instead.

Ms. Jekyll & Ms. Hyde

2012-02-04T15:12:00.000Z

My daughter can be a little angel at times, but mostly she is a typical ten year old. Between the bouts of tantrums, pouting, pestering, and winding-daddy-around-her-little-finger incidents, I sometimes catch her in a genuine moment of sweetness. This was one of those moments, and it's a nice reminder that sometimes, being 'Lellied', is actually quite nice.

Waiting

2012-02-03T18:12:00.000Z

February seems to be the month of waiting for me this year. I'm waiting for the 10th to come around, because when I finish my shift at 6pm that day, I won't have to go back to work until the 28th (woohoo, and there was much rejoicing!). I'm waiting for the 23rd to arrive so that I can either stop biting my nails because I will have failed to get to the second stage of ABNA, or move onto nibbling my hair (due to lack of nail-ness) if I have magically got to the second stage after all.

OK, those are probably the only biggie things that I am waiting on to be truthful, but every day it seems I am waiting for something. Waiting for my son to get home from school (because he can't be trusted to have a key) so that I can pop out somewhere; waiting for my daughter to finish faffing around in the morning so that I can send her to school; waiting for the kettle to boil so that I can make a much needed cuppa...

This morning I left the house a little earlier than I needed to because I got the bus timetables muddled up (for some reason I thought it was Saturday... must be the pre-dawn waking up that confused me methinks), so I was waiting for the bus to arrive far longer than normal. Hence the piccy for today's Phebruary Photo. The largish shadow is moi - huddled in three layers of clothing (not counting the thickly padded coat) no less. It's been in the minus range temperature-wise for the last week or so here in Cardiff, and waiting for the bus seems to take forever...

I have no patience. Waiting sucks.

Deceiving Sun

2012-02-02T18:09:00.000Z

It looked like such a nice day when I peeked through the window this morning; the sky was blue and the sun was shining. But the sun was being tricksy again, promising warmth when it had no right to do so. You see, it's blinking FREEZING here in The Diff. Brrrr! I took this piccy earlier this afternoon as I was waiting for a bus (which never turned up, bloody thing *mutters*), and it occurred to me at the time that the sun was a bit of a sneakster. *nods* Hence, 'Deceiving Sun.'

Paws on Pause

2012-02-01T09:25:00.000Z

About the only time Angel isn't being a devil is when she sleeps...

My little kitty has been suffering with a third eylid problem for the a while. A few weeks back I noticed that the inner eyelid on both of her eyes was covering half of her eye. It was a sudden thing - wasn't there one day, the next it was - and first I thought it was just a cold or something. After a couple of days it still hadn't cleared up, so I checked it out and discovered it was most likely that she had worms. Eww.

Anyway, I dutifully wormed her (and my other kitty too), and while this appears to have slowed down her eating habits, her inner eyelids are still visible. She is fine in herself, perfectly healthy in fact. Turns out she has 'Haws Syndrome', which generally affects kitties under the age of two, and is not something to worry about. It will clear itself in six to eight weeks apparently.

And that's my ramble to go with the first of my 'Phebruary Photos' posts. :)

Rant Against A Romance Basher

2012-01-25T10:33:00.001Z

Original Image

I woke up this morning feeling a few things; glad that I had a day off, looking forward to having a day of Nothing-To-Do-For-A-Change, and general thankfulness that I could go back to sleep if I should want to. I made a cuppa and saw my kids off to school for the day, and then made another cuppa to go with my morning scrawl through my Facebook newsfeed (oh what an exciting life I lead, huh?).

Then I came across a link that one of my Facebook friends shared, and started cussing. The link was to a blog post, and the more I read, the more I cussed. Then I got to reading the replies, and cussing doesn't even begin to describe what was going on inside my head.

I guess I should share the link here, though it goes against the grain to give this guy any more readership. I just don't think I can repeat what he said without cussing all over the place. There's nothing wrong with cussing - in fact, regular readers of this blog know that I enjoy cussing in my Taffish fashion quite often - but I don't really want half of the post to be excessive profanity.

Anyway, before I go further, you should probably READ THIS. I promise it won't take more than two minutes tops. Great, now that I've added the link, I can remove it from my bookmarks. *shudders*

Now, I don't want to get too personal, because that might mean that I end up insulting this nitwit. I don't even want to argue any of his useless and pathetic points. Honestly, I don't have a problem with the base of his post. The guy doesn't like the romance genre, and that's fair enough. It's just the way he did it. He insulted hundreds of readers and writers of romance in a few short paragraphs.

I might not have been so wound up about this if I had just read his post (insulting enough though that was, it was his opinion, and everyone is entitled to an opinion), but then I had the misfortune to read the comments, and Oh My Lordy. I take back my nitwit comment. That is far too kind a descriptions for this guy, and an insult to nitwits in general. Most nitwits have redeeming qualities. I - for example - am a complete nitwit, but I know how to laugh at myself and take no insult when somebody calls me one. I'd hazard a guess that if this guy ever read this post, he would sneer in a superior manner and post a stream of what he assumes to be blistering set-downs (though that would be pointless, because I would just laugh).

Anywho, I digress...

According to this guy, because I read romance, I am a woman still stuck in her teenage years who has no right to be bothering with romance when I am grown up and should know better. Now, I'm not directly quoting here, but that's the gist. Also, even if I manage to get published, it won't matter because romance will never be considered 'good writing'; when compared to other genres, so being published won't mean that my work is considered 'good'. Blimey, if I'd have known that, I wouldn't have wasted my time writing the darn thing. Thanks for the tip.

Furthermore, if a book is termed romance, then it is, apparently by default, 'bad' or 'tacky'. Because apparently, it would be called a classic love story otherwise. Apparently.

Um, right. Apparently this guys a complete tit, though I don't mean anything personal by it, because that would mean I was insulting the person, and not the post. So far I have called this guy a nitwit, but then I took it back. Anything else I said was only implied, therefore not really an insult. And by using the word 'apparantly', the 'complete tit' reference was only a suggestion, not really an insult at all. Actually, this guy might like being called a 'tit', now that I think about it (implied or otherwise). His level of maturity hasn't quite passed that Thirteen-And-Can't-Help-Giggling-Whenever-I-See-Naked-Boobs phase. And frankly, he should have passed that by now as he is grown up and should know better.

*DING!!*

Ooh, was that a hit?

Wow, I've lost my train of thought now and have forgotten what I wanted to say. Must be because I am a woman, and therefore illiterate, and obviously not well-adjusted.

I think I'd better stop now, or I'll end up bitching about this all day. One last thing though, this blogger (was so tempted to use another word there) describes himself as 'I'm a sexy, single, white male with a really big, uh, wallet. (It's where I keep all my I.O.U.s). I also write a bit.'.

Dude, take a tip from me. Any woman reading your post today will never consider you sexy. And your implied reference of having a big 'wallet' really only tells us that you are over-compensating your lack of wallet-ness (not to mention your lack of tact, wit, and probably brains too). As to writing 'a bit', I sincerely hope it stays that way. Because if I ever have to read 'a lot' of your verbal vomit, I would probably choke.

is somewhere else

2012-01-23T16:48:00.001Z

I haven't been around much (again), but I haven't been comepletely procrastinating. Well, maybe just a little bit, but not overly so. I blogged over at my writer's group just over a week ago, for example. And in between getting sucked into everything from family life, to bingo on Facebook, I managed to set aside yesterday afternoon to go through my manuscript in order to submit it today for this year's ABNA.

Yes, perhaps yesterday was cutting it a bit fine, but this is me, and I always leave things until the last minute. *shifty*

Anyway, I don't have a blog post for you today. Well, not here at any rate. But I blogged over at Cardiffella, so I'm popping by with a link to today's post if anyone fancies reading a ramble.

And now I'm off 'somewhere else' again... so toodle-loo!

Princess Poll

2012-01-08T10:57:00.000Z

Original Image

A quick one today! I've been trying to think of what I'll use officially as my 'author' name, and you know what? It's not as easy as it seems. Sure, I could go for sticking with my real name, but would that be authorish enough? One of my writer friends mixed up her maiden and married names and it came out perfect, sounding just right for her author name, but mine doesn't work out quite so well.

I have a few options - my real name is Tara Marie Smith, while my maiden name was Jeffery. My mother's maiden name - Hughes- is quite authorish sounding, too. And I like the idea of using 'Amber' in there, in memory of my daughter.

There are several ways to make up a name; I could use the full names, or just the initials. And I could take my pick from the surnames. I just can't quite decide on anything. Nothing is hitting me as 'perfect'.

I was mostly decided on 'Tara M Smith', but then a friend came up with 'Amber T Smith', which threw a spanner in the works as it made me think 'ooh!'.

I've asked a poll question on my facebook page using the above two options, but any and all opinions would be most welcome!

So, what say you? If my chick-litty story ever ends up in book form, who will have written it?

Well, Hello Stranger!

2012-01-07T13:16:00.000Z

Seeing as it's been almost three months since I last blogged, I think we can safely assume that I'm still a Procrastination Princess. And seeing as how I stopped blogging right in the middle of a self-imposed challenge, we can also safely assume that I am a Very Naughty Girl too.

Bluddy 'ell though, some of those challenge suggestions were hard! It got so that every time I came by to try a new post, my brain would freeze for a few moments and then break out in a sweat. A glazed look would appear in my eyes, and I would end up closing the tab and putting it off until 'tomorrow'. A new year has begun since then, and still those challenges have stumped me, so I figure it's best to ramble about something else. That's not to say that I will never complete the challenge, I'd just rather attempt them when not feeling under undue pressure.

On that slightly disappointing note (for me, if not for you), here I am with the first of 2012's blog posts. Nothing very exciting so far, I know, but we have to start somewhere.

I could waffle on a bit about the dire 2012-End-Of-The-World thingy, but that would be predictable (not to mention depressing). I could talk about the fact that I'm whipping my procrastinating butt into gear by entering this year's ABNA, but I know lots of other blogs are full of this competition already, so that would also be predictable.

So how about I wax lyrical (or at least briefly) about the delights of eggnog instead? It's past the festive season, but who cares? Eggnog, a recent discovery, is, in the words of a Taffy, bluddy lush like, innit? Eggs, sugar, cream, cinnamon, and most important of all, rum.

Now, I'm not usually a rum drinker (sorry Mr. Sparrow), but I have to admit that rum, when it is included with eggnoggy stuff, is lurvely. So nice, in fact, that I have decided that it shall not be forgotten about until next Christmas. Eggnog should be a year-round drink as far as I'm concerned. It may even replace - shock, horror, gasp!- vodka as my preferred alcohol of choice. *nogs* Er, I mean *nods*.

Image is mine, my precious, my own!

So yeah, that's what my first post of 2012 celebrates. Eggnog. May the year be filled will many sugar-enhanced rum and cinnamon goodness.

Happy It's-Not-The-End-Of-The-World-2012 everyone!

embracing the oddness

2011-10-16T21:18:00.001+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
~~Slugs.~~
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
~~Crazy dream/nightmare.~~
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
~~Zombie apocalypse.~~
~~Nonions.~~
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
~~The origin of pi.~~
Plato vs. Aristotle.
~~Chocolate - good or bad for you?.~~
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
~~Rubber ducks.~~
~~Air sex.~~
Palindromes.
~~Saucy seaside postcards.~~
~~Nude calenders.~~
Toffee apples.
~~Dung beetles.~~
~~Bicarbonate of Soda.~~
Spinsters and cats.
~~Chemical toilets.~~
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

~~Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.~~

Original Image

My list of requests is getting harder and harder to work with, and some of the suggestions are really quite disturbing. I had a quick search on Google images for today's subject, and almost the first picture I saw was the one above. Now, I might have said that some of the suggestions were a bit disturbing, but I have to admit, that might be because my brain thinks a bunch of stuff is odd.

Anyway, as soon as I saw this, it reminded me of my old deep fat fryer. And seeing as it is actually a chemical toilet, my immediate reaction was 'ewww'.

I hope that 'link' disturbs you as much as it did me. And on that note, I'll leave you to your odd imaginings...

*runs*

is introducing a friend

2011-10-15T16:33:00.000+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
~~Slugs.~~
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
~~Crazy dream/nightmare.~~
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
~~Zombie apocalypse.~~
~~Nonions.~~
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
~~The origin of pi.~~
Plato vs. Aristotle.
~~Chocolate - good or bad for you?.~~
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
~~Rubber ducks.~~
~~Air sex.~~
Palindromes.
~~Saucy seaside postcards.~~
~~Nude calenders.~~
Toffee apples.
~~Dung beetles.~~
~~Bicarbonate of Soda.~~
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

~~Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.~~

Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. My name's Eric Spartan, and I have an unusual job. I hunt zombies. That's right, you didn't misread - I hunt zombies for a living. You might think that having no body might hinder me in this occupation, but you'd be wrong. In fact, not having a body sort of gives me a head start, as it were, for those undead peeps out there don't expect to be battered by the Blue Haired One.

It all started in my old job. I used to work in a place called Spar, and I loved it so much that I even changed my name in honor of it. And, well, you have to admit, Eric Spartan has a nice ring to it, much better than Eric Schmeric.

Anyway, the Spar was a great place to work, with lots of lovely guys and gals to spend my day with. I was based in the kitchen with Princess - Spar's very own Baker Boy - and we had a good giggle most days. The rest of the staff were pretty cool too, but Princess was my main man, youknoworrimean?

One day, as I was helping with the baguettes (it's amazing how technically difficult it is making a prawn salad baguette, you know), we heard screaming. Princess dropped his knife faster than a pro dropping her pants, and I fairly squeaked with terror, but we gathered our wits (and a couple of chicken skewers) and ventured onto the shop floor. Imagine our surprise when we were faced with...

Duh, duh, DUHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Zombies. Lots and lots of zombies. They were everywhere, even in the back-up fridge (though Lord knows how they managed to close the door behind them, it's dodgy at the best of times). Anyway, we could see some of the girls battling bravely against this undead army, but they were outnumbered. Me and Princess had to do something, obviously, and we had to do it fast, or our family of Spartans would be zombified quicker than those pro's pants falling down.

Princess, being the ingenious Baker Boy that he is, jumped over the coffee machine back into the kitchen, and grabbed himself some orange waste bags, and a roll each of 'veg' and 'meat' stickers. Now, I have to admit, I thought he might have lost the plot at this point, but Princess is a man of many ideas and surprised us all.

First, he rounded up the Spartans and covered them all in sticky labels, declaring them as 'veg'. I was still a bit lost, especially when his next move saw him labelling the zombies as 'meat'.

"Stands to reason, dunnit?" said Princess, rolling his eyes. "I mean, have you ever heard of a vegetarian zombie?"

To be fair, I hadn't, so I left him to his ministrations.

"We go after them in pairs, alright?" ordered Princess. "Two veg for every meat."

*coughs*

It seems the plan was to make up a threesome, with the Spartan Veggies going after the Zombie Meaties from two sides, squashing the undead, and then encasing them in an orange bag. I helped by bouncing around the zombies and hitting their heads, knocking them out cold for easier bagging. After tying the bags securely with the empty strips of veg and meat labels, we piled them up outside ready for the council men to pick them up at the end of the day. Sorted.

It was a struggle, and we had to abandon all thoughts of upselling for that day as we just didn't have the time, but we did it. We pulled through, and the Spartans saved the day. Well, we saved Spar at any rate. Unfortunately, there are still zombies out there, infiltrating the world at large. I decided to take up Zombie Hunting full time after that. Princess helps out from time to time, and the Spartans keep me supplied with orange bags and rolls of sticky labels, so it's still a team effort.

So keep an eye out for me, will you, and if you happen to see a blue haired balloon bouncing around in your vicinity, don't burst it, just cheer it on its way. I'm just trying to save the world, that's all.

Because my name is Eric Spartan, and I'm a zombie hunter.

If you want to know Eric, find him on Facebook. Seriously, he's there. Friend him and give him your support. Help Eric save us from the zombies!

is ducking about

2011-10-14T23:49:00.001+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
~~Slugs.~~
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
~~Crazy dream/nightmare.~~
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
Zombie apocalypse.
~~Nonions.~~
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
~~The origin of pi.~~
Plato vs. Aristotle.
~~Chocolate - good or bad for you?.~~
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
~~Rubber ducks.~~
~~Air sex.~~
Palindromes.
~~Saucy seaside postcards.~~
~~Nude calenders.~~
Toffee apples.
~~Dung beetles.~~
~~Bicarbonate of Soda.~~
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

~~Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.~~


Elvis Duck

For original images, please see link under each picture.

thinks customers are a pain up the butt

2011-10-13T20:08:00.000+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
~~Slugs.~~
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
~~Crazy dream/nightmare.~~
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
Zombie apocalypse.
~~Nonions.~~
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
~~The origin of pi.~~
Plato vs. Aristotle.
~~Chocolate - good or bad for you?.~~
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
Rubber ducks.
~~Air sex.~~
Palindromes.
~~Saucy seaside postcards.~~
~~Nude calenders.~~
Toffee apples.
~~Dung beetles.~~
~~Bicarbonate of Soda.~~
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

~~Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.~~

Original Image

So I'm going with Jan's "Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with" suggestion today, because I am just home from work, and it occurred to me that one of the most irritating things about working in retail is the 'customer is always right' policy. Maybe it's not strictly a belief or a myth, but it's widely known, and I definitely want to take umbrage with it. *nods*

OK, I know it's basically just a case of being polite most of the time, and it's always in your best interests to keep your customers happy, but agreeing with everything they say and do (while keeping a smile on your face) is bloody difficult, even on a good day.

Like the person who wants to know why something is dearer than that other shop down the road, and demanding that we should price match. Or the person who expects you to smile and be nice to them, but who looks down their nose at you and doesn't even bother to say 'thank-you'.

Itdoezmyheadin!!!

Who came up with that, anyway? Some bigwig who obviously never dealt with the public on a daily basis, that's my guess.

I've worked in retail since leaving school at 16, and even with the couple of years I had off to have my kids, I still have over 16 years of experience with dealing with the public. And I can tell you, they're a nasty bunch. You do get a decent amount of nice people, but on any given day, you are bound to run into a gremlin or two. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if these people have anything better to do other than wind up the people who are giving them a service. There is just no need to take out your grumpiness on the poor people who, at the end of the day, are just earning their (often meagre) living.

Retail, on the whole, is a generally mundane and thankless way to earn your crust. It's usually the same routine day in, day out, and when you add rude customers to the mix, it can really get you down. Especially when the really snooty ones come out with 'Well, the customer is always right'.

Well, let me tell you, Mr Grumpy Customer, the customer is NOT always right. In fact, the customer is often so wrong that they need their heads read. I am not here to pander to your every whim, and I am not here to take crap off you. I will serve you with a smile, and I will help you if I can, but the next time you give me grief, watch your back, because you may think you're right, but I know you're nothing but a grumpy old so-and-so who needs to have a bucket of slime dumped over your head. And one of these days, I will lose my cool and, in the absence of slime ammunition, will at the very least give you a blistering set down so humiliating, that you won't be able to come back ever again without feeling mortified.

So there. *nods*

is not dreaming

2011-10-12T22:38:00.000+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
~~Slugs.~~
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
~~Crazy dream/nightmare.~~
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
Zombie apocalypse.
~~Nonions.~~
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
~~The origin of pi.~~
Plato vs. Aristotle.
~~Chocolate - good or bad for you?.~~
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
Rubber ducks.
~~Air sex.~~
Palindromes.
~~Saucy seaside postcards.~~
~~Nude calenders.~~
Toffee apples.
~~Dung beetles.~~
~~Bicarbonate of Soda.~~
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.

Original Image

So Maria asked me to blog about a crazy dream or nightmare - or one that I don't mind sharing, at any rate. The problem is, I honestly don't think that I have crazy dreams. Or if I do, I just don't remember them. I think it's possible that the crazies don't visit me in the night because they're with me so often in daylight hours...

Anywho, I do remember some of my dreams, and I suppose that they are a bit odd, but not in the way that you might think. I have those stupid dreams that don't actually feel like a dream. You know, the ones where you are doing silly, mundane things like the weekly shop, or cooking a Sunday roast.

Seriously, these dreams are as un-dreamlike as they could possibly be. I remember one time going to the bathroom, having a wee (sorry if that's too much info *snort*), stripping off for a bath, and reading a book. I was just getting to a good part (it was a re-reading of a favourite), and my flipping alarm clock went off. I was not impressed. One, because I hate waking up anyway, and two, I was really enjoying my read, and the book in question was one that I didn't actually own, so I couldn't resume the story. Grr.

Anywho, that's about as crazy as my dreams get. Like I said, I think my daytime loony-ness forces my brain into getting as much normal-ness as it can while it has a chance. As soon as my eyes open, the craziness resumes....

is slightly slugged

2011-10-11T23:22:00.000+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
~~Slugs.~~
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
Crazy dream/nightmare.
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
Zombie apocalypse.
~~Nonions.~~
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
~~The origin of pi.~~
Plato vs. Aristotle.
~~Chocolate - good or bad for you?.~~
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
Rubber ducks.
~~Air sex.~~
Palindromes.
~~Saucy seaside postcards.~~
~~Nude calenders.~~
Toffee apples.
~~Dung beetles.~~
~~Bicarbonate of Soda.~~
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.

Original Image

Of all the weird requests above, I bet most of you would have thought that 'slugs' was one of the strangest. But 'slugs' is actually one of the the few requests that I 'get'. You see, Leanne (who suggested slugs), is a fellow Harry Potter fan, and I suspect she only managed to get slugs mentioned because Mari (another fellow HP fan) hadn't seen my post yet.

For those of you unschooled in Potterverse, most Harry Potter fans will tell you that slugs are mentioned a lot during the story. In fact, they are mentioned so often that several theorists began to wonder just how significant they might be to the central plot. Discussions were made, ideas were bandied about, and great fun was had speculating on how important these slugs could turn out to be.

Of course, it could have been that JK Rowling was merely fond of slugs and liked to mention them a lot. But a pure Potter fan will know that Jo rarely mentioned something several times unless it was some kind of foreshadowing.

There was never really any outcome on all of the slug speculation, but I think that all the slugs were leading to the arrival of a certain Professor Slughorn, who, while not a hugely important character, or one who physically did a great deal for the cause, was pretty crucial in bringing to light some vital clues to aid the good guys.

I'm not going to get into detail, because there could be - shock horror! - some people who don't know the books, but suffice to say that Sluggy did good. *nods*

And that's why slugs was suggested.

Or, at least, I think it is. Maybe Leanne just likes slugs... or likes that Mari likes slugs. :P

is slightly worried about the way some people think

2011-10-10T23:18:00.001+01:00

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.


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"Dung beetles are beetles that feed partly or exclusively on feces. " - Wikipedia.

And honestly, there's not an awful lot I can add to that. Some people gave me some seriously strange topics to blog about... *scratches head*

No,. Nope. Nothing I want to add to that at all. Eww.

* is pi-ed off*

2011-10-09T21:40:00.000+01:00

~~Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.~~

Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.

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So I'm killing two birds with one stone today, and using two of the above requests. And it makes perfect sense too, because I am going to be talking about 'the origin of pi', and that is definitely something I don't want to think about, let alone write about.

To me, pi is something you eat. I know it doesn't have an 'e' on the end, but that doesn't matter. As far as I am concerned, pi is something you either pour gravy over, or squirt with fresh cream (depending whether you have the savoury or sweet option).

OK, I know that pi is also that funny little house-like symbol that is used in maths, and I also know that it has something to do with circles, and the numbers 3.14, but unless I go to wiki (which I don't intend to do, as I have a severe aversion to anything mathematical), that's about all I can tell you.

As to the origin of pi, I really don't think that I actually care. I suspect that it was in ancient Greece or something, or maybe it had something to do with Pythagoras... if indeed Pythagoras was a person. I think he was, because his theory is famous, right? Something to do with triangles? Trigonometry?

*shudders*

I actually have nightmares about mathematical terms. Or, at least, I used to. I had possibly the scariest maths teacher in the world (we called her The Nazi Showgirl - very scary, prone to marching rather than walking, and susceptible to showing too much boob when her buttons popped open [which they frequently did]), and I honestly think I would have passed my maths G.C.S.E. if somebody else had taught me. The only thing she gave me was a morbid fear of equations and fractions. *shudders again*

So yeah, I don't know the origin of pi, I don't want to know the origin of pi, and I definitely don't want to think about it.

Or write about it (any more). Thus endeth today's ramble.

PS - Yay! As I searched for a pi picture, I discovered that the 3.14 thingy was actually right! Go me!! And take that *sticks up middle finger* Mrs Nazi Showgirl! *blows raspberry*

is in chocolate heaven

2011-10-08T21:00:00.001+01:00

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So we all know that chocolate is bad for us, right? At least, it's bad for your body at any rate. They say (who the heck are the 'they' when people say 'they say' anyway??) that a little of everything in moderation is fine, but there are only a select few who can stop at only a little bit of chocolate. I have more of a savoury tooth than a sweet one, but stick a bar of Dairy Milk in front of me and I can't help but mentally drool.

The thing is, chocolate is just a little bit sinful, isn't it? You know it's naughty to indulge, but you just can't help yourself. In fact, of all the sinful things there are in the world, eating chocolate is nothing at all, so you can still have your sweetness fix without feeling too guilty.

Of course, there's the dreaded extra poundage that it will add to your hips (did you know that it's scientifically proven to go straight to your hips? OK, not really, but it sure seems that way...), it doesn't change the fact that eating chocolate is one of the most innocent pleasures you can indulge in.

So to answer the question of whether it's bad or good, it's both. But it's kind of the badness that makes it feel so good. *nods*

I'm off now. There's a a bag of raspberry ruffles calling me...

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coughs

2011-10-07T16:30:00.001+01:00


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Why do I have pictures of cute and fluffy animals on my blog today? Well, they are all calenders, and the models are all naked. So, we have 'Nude Calenders'. *nods*

*shifty*

is loving the sauciness

2011-10-06T22:55:00.001+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
Slugs.
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
Crazy dream/nightmare.
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
Zombie apocalypse.
~~Nonions.~~
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
The origin of pi.
Plato vs. Aristotle.
Chocolate - good or bad for you?.
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
Rubber ducks.
~~Air sex.~~
Palindromes.
~~Saucy seaside postcards.~~
Nude calenders.
Toffee apples.
Dung beetles.
~~Bicarbonate of Soda.~~
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.
Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.
Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.

So every time I look at my list of requests, I squirm a little bit, and so far I haven't known what I was going to blog about until I opened the window. Today is no different, but seeing as me and the hubby have just finished a marathon Gavin & Stacy watchathon, I figured saucy seaside postcards was a good bet. For those of you unfamiliar with Gavin & Stacy, it's a British sitcom partly based in Barry, or Barry Island to be exact. Barry Island is about half an hour away from the Kair of Diff (er, Cardiff), and isn't actually an island at all, but it does have a beach. It used to have a funfair, but sadly that closed a few years ago.

Anyway, Barry Island is a typically quaint British seaside destination to visit, and saucy seaside postcards are also typically British, so they sort of go together. I don't have much to say about the saucy postcards themselves, except that I've always loved them, and that I have several magnets displayed proudly on my fridge (right next to my Aragorn magnet *shifty*). I figured I'd make use of Google images and select a few samples for you...


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Ah, I loves me some saucy postcards...

is explaining the nonion phenomenon

2011-10-05T21:50:00.000+01:00

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Ok, so I figured it was about time I explained about the nonions. I'm not exactly sure how it all started, except that it was me, my friend and our spouses. Oh, and wine and beer were involved too. Plus a game of Trivial Pursuit.

A few weeks ago we arranged a Trivial Pursuit night at my place. To be fair, this happens quite often, as my friend and her hubby only live across the road, and we all prefer a night in rather than a night out. Usually though, me and the hubby go across the road. I could go into detail about our Trivia nights - like the time we mixed questions from Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and ordinary Trivial Pursuit (man, that was tricky). Or I could tell you how I somehow manage to get the 'easy' questions wrong, but magically get the harder ones right. We have a laugh and a giggle, and the added alcohol brings some extra imagination to the answers (and, indeed, the questions *shifty*).

Anywho, the night in question, we decided to put a few nibbles out so that we could munch while we racked out brains for those elusive answers. My friend brought the tortillas, while me and the hubby supplied the nuts and crisps. Said crisps were onion rings, cheese balls and bacon strips. At some point during the start of the evening, someone asked for an onion ring, only being Taffies, it sounded like 'nonion ring'. We all took the mick, and ever since, onion rings have been nonion rings.

But it doesn't stop there, oh dear me no! Now we substitute an 'n' to start off any word we feel might be improved by it. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, and depending on the level of alcohol in your bloodstream. it has varying levels of hilarity.

For example, my friend, who happens to work in the shop next door to mine, often comes in for a hot coffee or three. Several days after the initial Nonion Event, she came in for her coffees, and as I served her, she asked me if we had any nonion rings.

Now, I work in a Spar shop, and we do indeed sell 'nonion' rings. So I replied, "Yeah! They're next to the nacon nips!" Er, bacon strips, that is. Anyway, while this was very funny to me and my friend (those of you who are pulling that funny face right now -you know, the one where one eyebrow raises and the mouth droops on one side a little bit - shame on you, you obviously don't understand Taffy humour now, do you?), what was even funnier is that the bloke waiting in line to be served next 'got' it right away. He even started to ennify (I love inventing words). It was awesome. Or, indeed, nawesome.

Anyway, that be the nonions, and how we do it in Taffland. *nods*

Oh and yes, despite the title of today's post, I guess it's not really a phenomenon, but I couldn't resist all those n sounds...

*shifty*

is not doing THAT

2011-10-04T22:30:00.003+01:00

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Oh. My. Lordy. I don't even know where to begin on this one...

Anywho, air sex. How about that? Who'd have thunk it? In fact, who would want to think it?? I mean seriously, air sex? Why on earth would anyone wish to do that?

Air guitaring I get. Well, sort of anyway. Guitaring is a solo activity, yes? I mean yes, you can do it with a partner, or even in a group (still talking air guitaring here, guys), but essentially it is something you are meant to do by yourself. Therefore, air guitaring kind of makes sense. Hey, I even have a crack at air guitaring myself after a vodka or three.

But air sex? Seriously? Ok, so I'm in danger of turning into a cast member from Grey's Anatomy here with all the 'seriouslys', but honestly.... seriously??

Sex is a duo sport, people. Yes, I know every man (and woman) and his dog (but hopefully not with the dog) has done the solo misattribuition thingy, but that's not technically sex, right? Sex is the shortened form of sexual intercourse, so how on earth can you simulate it on stage, fully dressed, with an invisible partner? Not to mention in time with the background music.

It's just wrong on so many levels! If you enjoy the sport that much, grab a partner and sneak behind the stage, that's my advice. *nods* While the competitors are 'performing' the Solo Sex Samba, you and your chosen one can do the Couple Conga. Youknowzitmakezsense!

And that's all I have to say about that. *nods*

has wealth of knowledge on bicarb

2011-10-03T20:10:00.001+01:00

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I sold a tub of bicarbonate of soda today at work. Which is odd because it's not something that sells a great deal, but happens to be on my list of things to blog about this month.

The customer actually asked me for baking soda. I told her we had bicarbonate of soda, and baking powder, but not something called baking soda. Then she asked me what it was. Whether she meant bicarb of soda, baking powder, or baking soda, I have no idea, but as I don't really know what any of them are, I said I wasn't sure. *shifty* I then added that baking powder usually goes into cakes (possibly? I actually don't really know as I don't bake), and that my mother used to put bicarb in the pot when she was cooking fresh cauliflower. Stopped the white bit going yellow, or something.

Anywho...

Then I read the bicarb blurb, and it said you could have one part bicarb to two parts of... erm... something else, and it would make baking powder, so figured that bicarb was her best bet. I showed the customer and gave myself a mental pat on the back for being helpful.

Then she told me that she didn't want to use it for cooking anyway, she'd just read that baking soda was good for cleaning a smelly fridge.

*coughs*

I sold her the bicarb in the end because I knew that it can indeed be used to make a fridge sweet-smelling again. How I knew this, I do not know, but know it I did. I mentally punched the air afterwards as I now had something to ramble about for one of my October requests. *grins shiftily* Alas, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to sell or come across any of the other suggested topics over the next few weeks...

is severely lacking

2011-10-02T15:20:00.002+01:00

~~Limericks.~~
Slugs.
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
Crazy dream/nightmare.
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
Zombie apocalypse.
Nonions.
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
The origin of pi.
Plato vs. Aristotle.
Chocolate - good or bad for you?.
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
Rubber ducks.
Air sex.
Palindromes.
Saucy seaside postcards.
Nude calenders.
Toffee apples.
Dung beetles.
Bicarbonate of Soda.
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
~~Light bulbs.~~
Flea circuses.
Door stops.
Something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.
Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with.

You know, I thought it would be easier - or less constricting - if I had the option to pick one of the above subjects rather than work through the list in order, but that's really not the case. I keep reading through the topics, hoping that one of them will inspire something - anything - for me to write about. It's just not happening.

So as I am severely lacking in 'light bulb' moments, I guess I'll have to pick 'light bulbs' as my topic for today.

Now you all know what a light bulb moment is, right? Let me find a picture...


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There, you should know what I mean now.

Anywho, today I am severely lacking in 'light bulb moments' (which I've already said, I know), and as this is something that happens fairly often, I have a sort of strategy for dealing with the problem. Usually I try and find something else to do (something that makes sense for a procrastinator, yes?), and while this often involves something that has nothing whatsoever to do with writing, occasionally I do find myself biting the bullet and plodding along with a different story/blog post etc etc.

Or sometimes I cheat. *shifty*

What I really wanted to blog about today, for example, was how people who don't look after animals shouldn't be allowed to have them. But try as I might, I can't even loosely link that subject to anything from the above list. So I shall have to keep the rage that is currently making my blood boil on a simmer, and remember to post about it another time.

That still doesn't help with today's post though. I've racked my brains, and apart from the many different types of light bulbs that are out there, unless you are a light bulb fanatic, I don't see how it can be of interest to anyone. So I took the 'cheating' route and decided to go with the 'light bulb moment' interpretation.

I'm still waiting for that 'light bulb' moment though, so I guess that means today's post is doomed.

Or maybe that should be 'dimmed', not 'doomed', seeing as my Idea Light Bulb is definitely not shedding much light at the moment.

Oh well, back tomorrow, with a blog about... er... one of the above.

is changing the post's title

2011-10-01T14:34:00.005+01:00

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Lordy, October came around far too fast for my liking... but, October it is, therefore I must don my blogging skates and get cracking on this self-imposed challenge. I'll be posting the list of requests that I received at the top of every post this month so that everyone can keep track on me (and check that I'm not cheating *shifty*), plus it will be good for me to cross things off publicly. *nods*

I seem to remember saying that I would blog about these things in the order they were suggested, but as I skimmed over the list (wincing more than once, by the way), I 've decided to tackle whatever takes my fancy each and every day as we go through the month. I have a feeling that several of the harder topics will be bunched together from the 25th onwards. *coughs*

Here goes!

~~Limericks.~~
Slugs.
Pub lunches.
Fairy tales.
Crazy dream/nightmare.
A nasty post on Brighton or Butlins.
Zombie apocalypse.
Nonions.
Star Wars - Taff style.
Monty Python - Taff style.
The origin of pi.
Plato vs. Aristotle.
Chocolate - good or bad for you?.
The smallest country in the world.
Why are villains so damn sexy?
Creepy Halloween stories/movies that have the same lame plot.
The relativity of time.
Rubber ducks.
Air sex.
Palindromes.
Saucy seaside postcards.
Nude calenders.
Toffee apples.
Dung beetles.
Bicarbonate of Soda.
Spinsters and cats.
Chemical toilets.
Light bulbs.
Flea circuses.
Door stops.

A month full of madness begins,

I wonder what nonsense it brings?

I asked for requests

For October's blogfest

The mind boggles at some of these things.

Sexy villains and rubber ducks -

These will surely inspire some muck!

I'll be sure to include

Some calenders - nude,

And a toffee apple to suck.

I could say that air sex is hot,

That some movies have a lame plot.

And bicarb of soda?

I'd have preferred Yoda!

Yet I'm stuck with fleas and door stops.

Heaven knows how I'll get through it all,

I'm expecting to hit that Brick Wall

With the relativity of time,

And the origin of pi,

But still, I'm gonna have a ball!

Honestly, I keep reading this list, and all I can think of is... *doomed*

Edit: Oops, I'm supposed to be asterisking my titles too. *shifty*

Edit 2 (I have a feeling this month is going to be a *shifty* one through and through): Acckkkk!

Somehow I didn't include Jan's suggestions, though I saw them AND commented on them at the time! I will have to fit them in somewhere, and so that they are on record, the suggestions were:

1. Write on something you do not wish to even think about, let alone write about.

2. Something about a commonly held belief or myth that you'd like to take umbrage with. For instance, the myth of soul-mates, or the myth of not enough food in the world to feed the hungry...

Nonions And Stuff

2011-09-19T08:38:00.000+01:00

A quick update on how my requests are going for next month's NaBloWriMo, which I am entering (kind of)...

When I asked for requests the other day, I had a big grin on my face, because I knew you guys would pull through for me and come up with some great stuff. I wasn't wrong! So far, I have :

1 - Limericks
2 - Slugs
3 - Pub Lunches
4 - Fairy tales
5 - Crazy Dreams/Nightmares
6 - A really nasty post on Brighton or Butlins
7 - The Zombie Apocalypse

All of the above were posted in the comments on my blog page or my Facebook profile. I also have three requests from 'offline friends', which are:

8 - Nonions (Yup, onions with an 'n' - all will be explained when I post about them. *winks*)
9 - Star Wars in the style of a Taff.
10 - A Monty Python Film in the style of a Taff.

So I'm one third of the way there. Ten down, twenty to go. Don't be shy, offer up a suggestion or two. As you can see from the above, I'll have a go at anything. I prefer something that's a little bit odd (because I'm naturally nutty), but serious stuff is cool too!

So don't forget, leave a comment below, or post on my Facebook profile. And if I know you in the 'real' world, just let me know and I'll add it to the list.

Catch you later!

Image borrowed from here.

Returning With A Request

2011-09-14T08:43:00.000+01:00

So summer was a bit busy for me, hence my absence. Technically, the busy-ness ended by the end of the first week of September, but after not blogging for so long, the procrastination thing set in as I told myself I would get back to it 'tomorrow'. Tomorrow turned out to be today, at the almost half-point of September (though I did write for my writers' blog yesterday).

Anywho, today I am officially back, and hopefully with some regularity. Next month is NaBloWriMo (National Blog Writing Month), and I would like to attempt it once again. In 2009 I didn't enter officially as I'd only just started blogging, but there was a post for almost every day. Last year I again didn't enter officially, but after asking for requests, I successfully managed to blog every day of the month.

So I'm going to do the same thing this year. I'm not going to sign up officially, but I am going to blog every day. Hopefully, anyway. But to do that I am going to need requests. Thirty, to be exact. Thirty different suggestions from you guys. Last year I asked for six people to give me five suggestions each, but as there is still two weeks or so until the challenge begins, I thought I'd ask for two suggestions per person. You can either post them here in the comments, or on the link to this post on my Facebook profile. I'll keep checking for comments in both places, and when I hit thirty suggestions, I'll let you all know. The first thirty suggestions will be dutifully recorded, and written about in the order they were given.

There are no restrictions on what you may suggest - I'm happy to have a go at whatever you throw at me. Can't promise that each suggestion will get a thorough write-up, though. I've been known to put a twist on things and/or cheat a little bit when a subject has got me scratching my head. *shifty* I can promise that I will have a go, though. And also that I will asterisk the titles (if you don't know what I mean by that, have a look at the 'Popular Princess Posts' list on the right, there's usually an asterisked title in there somewhere).

So that's it. Throw some suggestions at me. Go on, I dare you!

Image borrowed from here.

P.S. It's good to be back!

Posting About Another Post

2011-07-29T09:52:00.000+01:00

Accckkk! I still haven't got around to putting together a post for this blog, but I did ramble a little bit for my writer's group today over at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash, so if you fancy reading a catch up post, clicky on the linky!

Click me, you know you want to...

Another Quick One

2011-07-20T15:13:00.000+01:00

Hello! I've been really busy the last month or so with this and that, which is why I haven't been around. I'm sorry for not posting anything new, or getting around to everyone's blogs! I just wanted to pop by and let you know that I'm still alive, and working on a new post too. :) In the meantime, here's a picture of my nine year old, who brought home a bunch of stuff from school yesterday, including a copy of the pose she did for her 'Hollywood' school project a few months ago.

The smug look is pretty much her permanent expression, by the way...

Of COURSE I'm a star!!

See you soon!

The Numbers Are Lying

2011-06-16T15:04:00.000+01:00

See that little word count thingy on the right? Well, ignore that because it's lying. *nods* I haven't updated it like I should have, plus I decided to start from scratch again yesterday, so my word count went from 12,500 words back down to 0 all over again. I'm at 3,426 at the moment - not bad for two days - but I'm a long way from 50,000. Therefore I am not aiming for 50k. *nods again* I am now aiming for 30k, which works out at 2,000 words a day. We shall see how we go...

I have been a bad, bad, procrastinator this month. Well, technically I've been a good procrastinator, because I have successfully managed to avoid doing lots of stuff almost every day, but you know what I mean. I honestly think deadlines have the opposite effect on me compared to what they should. I also have too many distractions at the moment.

There's my son, who is sitting some important exams at the moment, and happens to turn 15 on the 24th. Scary stuff. Not the exams (well, they probably scare my son, but not me), but the fact that I have a 15 year old? Really, really scary.

Then there's my daughter, who has never been easy, but is slowly but surely turning into Regan from The Exorcist. Not that she's possessed, or can turn her head around three hundred and sixty degrees or anything. She's not spewing pea soup either. But she IS cursing at me more often than not. Complete with eye-rolling and copious 'whatevers' about twenty times a day. Gotta love these nine-going-on-nineteen daughters of ours, eh?

It's also that time of year when we have to renew our tax credits and what-not. Cue plenty of thirty page forms asking you lots of things the tax office needs to know, along with lots of things they don't really need to know. Oh, and don't forget to add the gazillion forms of identification when you post your form off. *rolls eyes* (Erk, wonder if daughter gets the eye-rolling from me?)

Lastly I am gearing myself up for changing from part-time to full-time at my job. I'm happy about the extra money coming in, but not so happy about working five days as opposed to two. On the other hand, I think having so much spare time on my hands has helped feed my Procrastinating Monster. I wrote more often and more prolifically when I worked full-time before, so maybe having less time on my hands will help me curb my dithering urges.

Anyway, must go. I need to ~~procrastinate~~ write!

A Birrov This 'n That

2011-06-06T19:55:00.000+01:00

So I fort I'd stop by, like, and give alirrle update on wot's 'appening at the mo. I iz pluggin away at me novel for BuNoWriMo, and thow the spiffy lirrle icon on me page says five fousand and summin, I iz now just past six fousand wordz. I just avent bovvered to update it again, like, coz it'd be pointless when I still 'as sum writin to do tonight, like innit? Me suspensful yoof story iz cummin along nicely, achully, and I iz well chuffed that the idea peers to be workin.

Az well az writin for me novel, I iz also workin' on a lirrle story for me clarts and clits at Spar (the place where I works, like innit). I iz mixing me work peeps with Pirates ov the Carrybeeun, and calling the story 'Pirates ov the Sparrebeeun', coz I is mad like that. I iz 'aving a right larf writin it, too!

Also, I iz well chuffed like, coz this iz blog number seventy-nine for two fousand and leven, which is bluddy bangin coz that means I av fishally beat last yer's blog count already like, and itz only the buginnin ov June!

In ovver news, I iz also chuffed coz I lost anovver five poundage of weight, which is very good indeed, like innit? Course, I bluddy put on ten poundage since Chrismus, so I iz only loozing wot I gained, but still, itz a step in the right direcshun, innit? Youknowzitmakezsense!

And thatz abou all I av for this yer update. Nuffin much else 'appenin yer in the Kair ov Diff, cept for the unusually nice wevvar, but I iz bettin the sun will go back behind the clowds almost before I finishes this yer blog post, so itz pointless givin it more than a breef menshun.

Anywayz, thassall for today, clarts and clits, I'll stop by in a coupla dayz or so wiv a propa blog post, but until then, later peeps!

Original image borrowed from here, but tweaked a bit by moi.

Utilizing A Little-Used Label *

2011-06-01T23:11:00.001+01:00

When in doubt, find a silly picture.

"Ve Haff Vays Off Making You Procrastinate."

* Or 'Embracing The Urge To Be Silly'.

Procrastinator's Tip: Try scrolling the image up and down the screen really quickly - you can lose hours. *nods*

Image borowed from here.

The Bond

2011-05-31T12:34:00.000+01:00

The Bond? What's this? Well, it's the title of my BuNoWriMo novel, of course! A story of two friends who have an unbreakable bond, despite the circumstances that are thrust upon them. I believe it falls into YA Suspense, which is a brand new genre for me, but hey-ho, it's all fun!

But what's BuNoWriMo?

BuNoWriMo is The Burrow's (my writer's group) version of the better known NaNoWriMo - the event that takes place every November that encourages writers to produce a 50,000 word novel in thirty days. We at The Burrow are a little less picky. We still have thirty days as the time limit, but we pick June for the month of madness. And while we would love it if everyone was inspired enough to produce 50,000 words, we know that this is impossible for a lot of people. Now, we don't like people to miss out, so as far as we're concerned, any writing is good enough for us. Thus we have the general participants, and the rebel participants. *nods firmly*

Your goal may be the traditional 50k novel, it may be adding another 50k to an existing work, or it may be writing a drabble a day for thirty days (a more manageable 100 words daily rather than 1667). Your goal may be adding that final ten thousand words to the novel that you wrote over a year ago (*coughnotmeobviouslycough*). Whatever your goal is, BuNoWriMo welcomes you!

There's still time to sign up if you're interested. The event starts at midnight tonight - in whatever time zone you live in - and you can sign up on the BuNoWriMo Facebook Page. When you're all signed up (it's easy peasy, you just ask to be added, and we add you *winks*), you can get your sparkly word count meter from here, and if you fancy a shiny avatar with the BuNoWriMo slogan, then you can pick one of the ready-made icons made by Burrow graphic designer Joris.

So what are you waiting for? Get WRITING!

A Different Princess

2011-05-30T12:41:00.001+01:00

Most people who click on my blog link expect to find a crazy post with a funny image, and that is what you will find for the most part. I make no effort to pretend that this page is anything other than what it is - an outlet for my loopiness.

My readership varies; I have family and friends from 'The Real World' who regularly stop by, then there's my online buddies who I've known for years, my blogging buddies who stumbled on my blog right at the start, and my newest followers, who found me through last month's April A-Z Challenge.

Why I am rambling? Well, I thought that a short ramble would help to ease the serious subject into the post - nobody wants to be thrust into seriousness right from the off, it can be a little disorientating, especially if you are expecting a rude limerick or a bit of Taffing.

The truth is, this blog came to be because I needed a bit of escapism, and it probably ended up being a kind of therapy too. My online persona has always been a slightly exaggerated version of me, a version that is a little bit naughty and a lot crazy. When I first started blogging in 2009, I had no idea that I suffered from episodic depression. Well, I knew that I had periods of 'The Blues', but I didn't realise that they were anything other than normal. I mean, everyone feels down now and again, don't they?

My 'Blues' started way back when I was a teen, and having these periods of blackness so often over the years kind of made me a little immune to them. They came so often that they were just something that I expected. They were a part of me, just like my hair's tendency to curl was a part of me. They were just something that I had to deal with, rather like the annoying cough that I get every winter.

It wasn't until I hit a really big wall of blackness last year that I understood that feeling like crap wasn't something I had to deal with alone. I had been suffering bouts of depression over the years without realising it. They had been coming in spurts, and they rarely lasted longer than a few days, so I had put them down to just feeling sorry for myself (I can be a bit of a Drama Queen). With hindsight, I can see that these small bursts of depression were very clear warning signs. I'd basically been sitting on a time bomb. It wasn't a question of if I would ever hit the point of a breakdown, it was when.

Obviously there are triggers, and over the years there have been many. I think my stubbornness was part of what helped me to stave off the inevitable falling to pieces that was waiting for me. I was too busy looking after my kids to be bothered with an irksome breakdown, after all. Of course, the culmination of all of the little bouts of depression eventually caught up with me, and all I needed was one last trigger to set me on the path to losing the plot.

I am still flabbergasted at the extent of my deterioration when that final trigger came. I'd read lots over the years about people who suffered depression, about how they couldn't function normally, about how they felt so bad that they didn't want to get out of bed, about how they often had suicidal thoughts. I always had sympathy for these people, but I never really 'got' it. I never truly understood how anyone could feel so low that they thought dying would be a better alternative to living.

Now I 'get' it. I am only thankful that I had children to ground me during my lowest point, because I am pretty sure that if it wasn't for them I would have contemplated suicide myself. Only the thought of leaving them motherless was enough to keep me from doing something stupid. Just as they wouldn't be around without me, I surely wouldn't be around without them.

Now this post isn't supposed to be all dark and depressing, it really isn't. After a few months of trial and error, my doctor finally found medication that helped me. It's taken over a year, and that year has been hard, no question, but I am now back to my normal self. Oh, I still have moments of darkness, true, but that is part and parcel of being me. That will never change. The difference is now I know that these periods of blues will go away. I don't have to keep plodding along and hoping for the best, or bury my negative feelings so deep that they fester inside of me.

The medication blocks the worst of the feelings, but it's having an outlet that allows me to be silly that really completes the treatment. Making people laugh brings a smile to my face. I know that sounds like a cliche, but it's true. My natural inclination when it comes to writing fiction is to write dark and emotional stuff, believe it or not, but my blog has never been that way. I don't know how or why, but my blog became my playground. Maybe my subconscious knew that I needed a place to be silly, and thus the Princess of Procrastination was born. Maybe my Inner Nut came forward and forced her way on to the page, pushing my darker self into the background.

How ever it happened, I'm really glad that it did.

To finish, I just want to say that if you know anyone who suffers from depression, or suffer from it yourself, please, please, please be aware that it does get better. I'm by no means an expert, and I'm not arrogant enough to believe that that my own experience of it is the worst that it can get, but what I do know is that it's not permanent. It might feel like it is, but it isn't. Take whatever help is available, whether that's support from your family and friends, medication, or even making a silly blog page. You don't need to be superhuman to get through depression, you just need to know that you're not alone, and that you don't need to hide. It's not something to be ashamed of, and it's not something that can't be overcome.

Here endeth the serious post.

B.L.S.

2011-05-21T17:31:00.001+01:00

So first I have to apologise because I've been avoiding blogland for the last two weeks. Not for any particular reason, except maybe I was feeling a bit over-blogified after last month's A-Z. I've not read more than a handful of posts in the last fortnight, and I haven't even attempted any blog writing for either of my blogs. Anyway, apologies for the absence... Bad Tara. *smacks wrist*

The 'B.L.S.' of the title is an acronym for 'Bitten Lip Syndrome' - a well known affliction that I'm pretty sure has affected each and every one of us at one point or another (B.L.S. is also rather apt because the letters form part of the word 'bullshit', which is probably one of the most common words I think of when suffering a case of B.L.S.).

*coughs* Anywho...

I'm a nice person. Really. I don't like conflict, I'm invariably polite, and I'd much rather zip my lips than spout a river of abuse. But sometimes I really wish I could be bad. Not evil exactly, just a little more unconcerned about keeping things nice. Mostly I wish I could say what I really thought from time to time.

e.g.

At the supermarket...

Random shopper: Would you mind if I pushed in? I have a bus to catch.
Me: Oh, go on then, *smiles*

But what I really want to say is : Tough! I've been queueing for ten minutes already and I don't see why you get to be served as soon as you reach the checkout. *pokes out tongue*

At work...

Customer: Excuse me, but do you sell [insert ridiculously stupid product which you can only find on some obscure website]?
Me: No sorry, we don't. Have you tried [insert something as similar to queried product as possible] instead?

What I really want to say is: Yes we do! You'll find them next to the other items that nobody wants, on aisle three. *accompanied with an eyeroll*

Then there's the really persistent idiots who won't take 'no' for an answer. Generally they are sales people, but this isn't exclusive. While they're busy trying to sell you something that you'll probably never need, you keep trying to speak the words 'no thank you', but they won't let you utter more than a 'n'. Usually I end up putting the phone down, or closing my front door - which is rather rude, admittedly - but if I had my way I would string several curse words together and finish my tirade with a fairly loud 'now duck off and leave me alone!'

Unfortunately, B.L.S. tends to strike me on these occasions (which, in the case of work-related situations, is probably a good thing, granted). Of course, logically I know that this is unacceptable behaviour, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that I could have one day where my lips were free to form whatever words spring to mind. Without any dire consequences, of course. Maybe this mythical day would end with everyone's mind being wiped of the previous twenty four hours, thus ensuring that nobody would remember how obnoxious I was.

Man, that would be nice...

Image borrowed from here.

I Wanna Be A Billionaire So Ducking Bad

2011-05-06T16:21:00.000+01:00

... and buy all of those things I never had!

Yup, I totally get this song. Totally. Not to mention that it's got a beat that I can shake my booty to. Anyway, perhaps 'billionaire' is a bit of a stretch. Honestly, right now I'd settle for being a hundredaire (that's not a word, but youknoworrimean). Everything is going up in price (except for our wages), and my both my kids seem to have had endless growth spurts in the last six months.

Anyway anyway, I heard this song earlier today, and as I nodded along thinking 'oh yes, don't we all?', I got to thinking of other songs that were very true to life, and...well, I couldn't think of any. I mean, most song lyrics are all lovey-dovey balder-rot, and to be frank, life's just not that way. So bang went my idea to blog about cool song lyrics.

So instead of writing a (hopefully) witty and decent blog post, I cleaned my house instead. The excitement of a housewife's daily life is sometimes too much to bear, it really is. The level of the clothes in the laundry basket set my heart to fluttering, and the chaos of the daughter's bedroom fairly caused me to swoon. And although I have been called a scrubber in the past, it's slightly disappointing to realise that it was meant literally.

*sigh*

Now, if I had a nice housemaid to do all of those 'lovely' chores, I would be very excited indeed (especially if the housemaid was tall, muscled, and liked to clean in little more than a pinny), but alas, funding doesn't stretch to that. To be fair, even if funding did stretch to that, I'm pretty sure the hubby would have one or two objections, but that's neither here nor there (sadly). Still, it's a nice idea, but I would definitely need a few bob to do it.

And so yes, I Wanna Be A Billionaire So Ducking Bad...

Money Image
Porn For Women (I have this book! Courtesy of my fellow Burrower Leanne. *nods*)

Awaiting The Third.

2011-05-04T20:47:00.003+01:00

I'm sure a lot of you will remember when I limericked last week about my kitty. Poor, sweet little Angel who had been subjected to a visit to the vet to be spayed. She's still recovering well, although with another six days before the stitches can come out (thus another six days of wearing the torture tool that is The Cone Collar), she is still somewhat disorientated.

Altogether now; one, two, three... Ahhhhhh!

You may also remember when I limericked the week prior to that about my infamous Tara-Trips (I'm pretty sure you may know where this is going. *snort*) You know, those silly things that I find myself tripping over from time to time. Like fresh air, for example.

Anywho, on Monday, dear, sweet little Angel, who has been going slightly doolally in the last week owing to her head-wear, decided that a scamper through the kitchen might be a nice idea. Perhaps a frolic by food dish, or maybe a playful swatting of a dishcloth seemed to be the order of the day. All well and good, but when she timed her scurry-by to fit neatly with the time I was poised to empty the mop bucket, then things didn't quite go to plan. Several curses and desperate grasping motions did little to stop the bucket from slipping from my hands and upending all over the floor. *mutters darkly* I managed to rescue my flooded kitchen, but I'm pretty sure my tiles - which are only meant to be cleaned using a damp mop (and not a bucket full of hot soapy water) - will never be the same again.

Honestly, I love my baby to bits, but I'm pretty sure I glared at her. And cursed. A lot.

Despite the dirty look and foul language, Little Miss I Shouldn't Be Called Angel did not learn her lesson. Last night she decided once again that a sprint through the kitchen was the absolute only thing in the world that she wanted to do.

Yup, Trip #2 coming up.

I'm pleased to report that I was nowhere near the mop bucket (though if I had been it would have been fine seeing as it was empty). Unfortunately, I'm not so pleased to report that I was in the middle of ironing. In my surprise of almost being knocked from my feet by a Very Fast Pussy, I inadvertently ended up ironing the inside of my arm rather than my son's school shirt. I'm not sure how clear the picture is (my phone has a poor camera), but you should be able to make out the lovely burn that I have. Isn't it fetching?

With another six days before the collar comes off, hence another six days of extra frantic scampering, I am dreading what the third trip will be, because me being me, there is bound to be another one.

*candles self*

Hmm, perhaps not the best choice of words...

Edit: Ha! I just noticed that Angel managed to get into the picture of my arm. How apt!

A-Z Reflections Blog Hop

2011-05-02T15:00:00.000+01:00

Blogging A-Z was a blast

It's quite sad that it could not last

'A' was the start

'Z' to depart

'B' through 'Y' made it fly by fast!

Well, seeing as I limericked my way through the entire challenge, it seemed fitting that I compose one last ditty for my reflections post. *winks*

I'm not one to join this type of thing, mostly because, as the title of my blog suggests, I'm a bit of a ditherer. *coughsunderstatementofthecenturycoughs* A one-off commitment I can do, even if I usually panic and leave things until the last minute, but blogging every day as part of a group challenge is definitely something that I usually steer well clear of. I've blogged daily for a month before, but only as a personal challenge. It's somehow less pressure when it's only yourself you let down if you fail to post. But letting down a group of well over a thousand bloggers is not something I relished.

Realistically, with so many bloggers taking part, I highly doubt that my posts would have been missed had I given up, but that's not the point. I had a couple of new followers right from the start, and these lovely, lovely people were just so nice and supportive that I would have felt awful if my limericking came to a halt.

I tried to visit as many blogs as I could (the length of my blog list on the right can attest to this, as I followed a good number of the blogs that I visited), and I commented and/or followed on every blog that the handy 'surprise me' tool took me to. Two fabulous bloggers gave me lovely awards (you can find JL Dodge and Christine's blogs by clicking on the awards on the right), and I doubled my followers. Not to mention recieving far more hits and comments than I have ever had in the eighteen months that I have been blogging.

So, as I 'reflect' on the challenge, I can definitely say that it was a joy to take part. A big 'Thank You!' must go to Arlee Bird at Tossing It Out, for coming up with the idea to begin with, and being such a fabulous host. Not to mention all of the co-hosts who did so well in visiting as many of the long list of bloggers that were taking part. I myself probably only managed around 300 blogs (if that), but I am still using the fabulous 'surprise me' button and continuing to discover blogs that are interesting, funny, and pure entertainment.

So will I be doing the April A-Z 2012 if there is one? You betcha! And I recommend everyone to give it a shot too. It's a little bit of hard work mixed with a lot of fun, and that's a great combination as far as I'm concerned.

Congrats to everyone who took part, and thank you to everyone who commented on my nutty limericks! I had a silly grin on my face each time I read about putting a silly grin on your face!

Z is for...

2011-04-30T13:28:00.000+01:00

Bad French Imitation

Zere vunce waz a girl from ze Taff

Who zought speaking like zis waz a laff

But zut alors!

Eet waz a bore!

For all eet sounded waz le naff!

French taunting eez le fab.

Y is for...

2011-04-29T17:28:00.001+01:00

Youknowzitmakezsense! (It had to be, obviously. *winks*)

Taffing iz good, Taffing iz fab,

Taffing chases away all thatz drab.

So gerroff yer fence

Youknowzitmakezsense!

Coz Taffing's the Gift ov the Gab.

Image borrowed from here.

Apologies for being a little late today with my post, but work and life got in the way! Also, I have to apologise for not visiting as many blogs this week as I have done so far in the challenge, and not replying even more than usual. It's been a mad, mad week...

Lastly, a shout out to Amie Kaufman , who is my 100th follower! Thanks so much! Now I truly feel part of the blogger community (not that I didn't before, but this is somehow extra special). :D

X is for...

2011-04-28T09:00:00.001+01:00

The X Chromosome

Women are oft called inferior

(In spite of their shapely posteriors).

But men have x too

(Though women have two)

Hence women are vastly superior.

Image borrowed from here.

A/N 1 - Please take the limerick with a pinch of salt, or tongue in cheek, or in jest (or in which ever way you want that makes you realise that I am not trying to insult any men out there). I mean, women obviously are superior, but I would never say that out loud. Oh...

A/N 2 - The picture has nothing to do with the x chromosome at all, but it turned up in my search for 'funny x pictures', and honestly, it was just begging to be pinched. *coughs*

W is for...

2011-04-27T10:00:00.008+01:00

Wobbly Sausages.

Wiggle a little, wiggle a lot.

Wiggle some more till it hits the spot.

Bangers are brill!

Bangers can thrill!

And taste better when sizzling and hot!

Man, I love Google images...

Image (amid much chuckling) borrowed from here. And yes, I already had a label for 'wobbly sausages'. *shifty*

Oops, I thought I'd scheduled this for this morning, but I'd saved it as a draft instead... ah well, better late than never!

V is for...

2011-04-26T12:20:00.001+01:00

Vets!

A trip to the vets can be scary,

For my feline friend (who is hairy).

She's not one to roam -

She likes to stay home.

And the men in white make her wary.


The inaccurately named 'Angel'.

'V' was very appropriate for today as I had to take my kitty to the vet to be spayed. She thought it was great fun to be put into the pet carrier, but I'm pretty sure she won't feel that way later on today...

Picture update!!!

Angel is doing fine after we finally managed to get her to keep the collar on. :)

U is for...

2011-04-25T12:30:00.000+01:00

Ummm...

Not knowing what to say can be tough,

Even thousands of words aren't enough.

When ideas you lack

Make you shout out 'Ack!'

It's time to move on to other stuff.

Image borrowed from here.

*I had no idea what to do for 'U' which is a) why this post is a few hours later than normal, and b) why it's all about not knowing what to do...

T is for...

2011-04-23T11:05:00.000+01:00

Taff Speak

There was a young girl from round yer like,

Who torked reelly Taffy, like this, like.

She dropped all her gees,

Replaced s's with zees,

Issallgood! Youknowzitmakezsense, like!

I'd claim ownership ov the pickchur coz itz well wicked, but I achully found it frew google images when I searched for 'clart', like innit. The propa origin is yer, like.

A/N - So technically I cheated by ending three lines with the same word, but one, not many decent words rhyme with 'like', and two, well, we Taffie's say like, like ALL the time, so it seemed apt.

S is for...

2011-04-22T12:00:00.002+01:00

Soup, Slugs & Sophisticated Slags...

Well, apparently anyway. The spur-of-the-moment 'O' mini blogfest the other day inspired myself and my three partners in crime to do it again, with each of us suggesting a word (I think you can probably guess which word is mine, yes?). Anyway, check out Rayna, Hart and Cruella for their version of the above 'topics'. Meanwhile...

Some advice for special occasions -

Like birthdays of close relations -

Sophisticated Slags

Will most likely gag

If offered a slug soup creation.

Image borrowed from here.

Aaaaand...

'S' is also for... *drumroll*

*blushes* Thanks so much to J L Dodge for the award! The first (and most likely only) time I have ever been called stylish!

Now, in order for me to do this properly, I have to do four things:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.( Easy peasy - I would have done this anyway).
2. Share 7 things about yourself ( will do that in a mo).
3. Award 10-15 blogs who you think deserve this award ( will do that in a mo, too )
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award ( will have to do that tomorrow [well, today actually, as this is a scheduled post] when I get home from my 6-2 shift at work. Bah Humbug. )

Seven Things About Me:

1 - My name is Tara, and most people think I was named for the plantation in Gone With The Wind. I was, in fact, named after the character of Tara King in the 1960's British TV series The Avengers.

2 - On first meeting me, most people have described me as stuck-up. I find this hilarious, mostly because I am the complete opposite, but also because my accent is best described 'common as muck' (cuz I torks like this, like innit).

3 - I can't swim, and probably never will. I'm not severely hydraphobic, but I'm scared enough to know that I'll never submerge my head beneath water.

4 - I never, ever get a hangover. I'm not a regular drinker, but when I do indulge I have more than a few. My usual tipple is vodka, and despite drinking copious amounts of it on several occasions, I never suffer the following day. *avoids rotten tomatoes*

5 - I married my first serious boyfriend. There's been ups and downs over the years, but 17 years (exactly half of my life, in fact) after meeting, we are still together.

6 - My mind is nearly always in the gutter. I suspect you already knew this, though...

7 - I've been writing silly little ditties since I was in school, one of my earlier efforts being 'The Boy With The One Inch Wonder'. *shifty* Yup, even way back then, my mind was lurking in guttery places.

Enough about me, here's some more people who I think need to spill seven things about themselves. It's possible that they might have been awarded this before, but not by me, so I figure that's OK.

Marjorie @ http://everythingemerald.blogspot.com/
Laura @ http://dailydodo.blogspot.com/
Hart @ http://waterytart23.blogspot.com/
Maria @ http://timetospare-hopelessmoo.blogspot.com/
Jan @ http://labanan.blogspot.com/
Cruella @ http://thegiraffabilityofdigressions.blogspot.com/
Mary @ http://gigglesandguns.blogspot.com/
Rayna @ http://coffeeringseverywhere.blogspot.com/
Pk @ http://pk-hrezo.blogspot.com/
Jen @ http://jen-hemmingandhawing.blogspot.com/
Chary @ http://mspebbles73.blogspot.com/
Eliza @ http://eliza-twaddle.blogspot.com/

And here be the end o' me post, me hearties!

R is for...

2011-04-21T12:08:00.000+01:00

Risque

Risque is the word of the day

A word that is lovely to say.

Some people may 'tut'

When you hint at smut

But for me, it's risque all the way!

This shot is incentive for vast amounts of risque, wouldn't you say?

Image stolen from Google images. *coughs*

Q is for...

2011-04-20T09:00:00.000+01:00

Quinquefarious. *

A limerick is quinquefarious,

With themes that are sometimes nefarious.

Add some odd quotes,

And maybe some goats,

The result will be quite hilarious.

Man, I SO need to have this book!

*Quinquefarious means 'arranged in five rows'. *nods wisely* Look how clever I am. *snort*

P is for...

2011-04-19T08:55:00.003+01:00

Parts!

Part the first - A-Z Limerick for 'P'... (on pussies!)

Pussies are a purrrfect pleasure,

When stroking and licking at leisure.

A flick of the tongue

Makes the task much fun,

An outcome you're sure to treasure.

Bet you thought I was being all Taffish, didn't you?

Part the second.... Query Blogfest Post.

Writing with Debra is hosting a Query Blogfest today, and here is my entry! I actually used the blurb from my novel's blog page as the main body of the letter because I spent a lot of time on it and like the way it turned out, but I've added the 'hook' (though it's slightly longer than the recommended 'one sentence') and the closing paragraph today, so it's not totally cheating. *shifty*

Name

Address

Contact numbers

Email

Dear Ms Agent,

Take one damsel unknowingly in distress, add a fairy-godmother, a spattering of nudity, and a Prince-in-the-making. Mix thoroughly and let simmer for a while.

Ella, a twenty-something woman from Cardiff, loves her job, her little  house, her two best friends, and her cat. She enjoys nights out on the  town, drinking a little too much vodka, and swearing more than she  should. She's happy with her life, and it doesn't need changing, right?

But  what will she do when her cat starts talking and insists she is Ella's  fairy godmother? And what will happen when a new man arrives to take  over as boss at Cardiff Mode, the modeling agency where Ella works? Will  Max Charming change her mind about needing a man?

Cue plenty of  laughs, cursing, accidental nudity, and several trips to the local  hospital, as Ella flies from one disaster to the next in her quest to  capture her very own Prince Charming.

A modern fairytale, Cardiffella is complete at 60,000 words. It is the first novel in a mini-series that is set in my home city of Cardiff. I have enclosed a SAE for your convenience, and a full synopsis and/or sample chapters are available on request. Thank you very much for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

Tara Smith.

O is for...

2011-04-18T11:00:00.001+01:00

Oh! Oh! Ohhhh!

A Slight Detour First...

So last night I posted a status update on Facebook which alluded to my state of panic at having five blog posts needing to be written before the end of tomorow. Now, I have fabulous friends, and immediately I was conversing with the lovely Mari about possible blog subjects. Several comments later, another good friend Tami also joined the conversation. Amid much giggling, we covered ottomans, ostriches, the Eurovision song contest, pork chops, quarks and other such things. Forty-five minutes later (and more importantly, forty-five comments later) we had committed to a threesome today.

*coughs*

That is to say, we all agreed that the three of us would post today on the subject of orgasms, ostriches, orange, and ottomans. I highly recommend visiting both of their blogs (Mari @ The Giraffability of Digressions and Tami @ Confessions of a Watery Tart) because one, they have fabulous posts, and two, they explained things much better than I did.

And as for me...

If seduction is what you are pining,

Then ottomans are great for reclining.

Grab an orstrich (for feathers),

A whip made of leather,

And an orange, for orgasmic dining.

*Second Detour

I'm not sure if that makes much sense, but YOU try fitting those parameters into five little lines.

Sexy ostrich borrowed from here.

**Third detour! This just in... we have another ~~victim~~ participant!

N is for ...

2011-04-16T10:23:00.000+01:00

Naked Tripping.

There once was a girl famed for her trips,

Far more dangerous than normal slips.

When rolling downhill,

Clothes falling at will,

She'd often expose both of her nips.*

*This is a true story. Unfortunately.

Image borrowed from here.

M is for...

2011-04-15T10:27:00.000+01:00

Things That Make You Go Mmmmmmmm...

Hot dirty rangers that make me drool.

Bad boy vampires who dress super cool.

Mojos are sacred,

Especially when naked -

Great for wrestling in a pudding pool!

Image borrowed from here.

L is for...

2011-04-14T10:00:00.001+01:00

Limericks!!

Those five little lines can be funny,

And make cloudy days become sunny.

When I was theme picking,

I chose limericking.

And now I'm a happy bunny!

Image borrowed from here...

K is for...

2011-04-13T10:00:00.001+01:00

Kair of Diff *

The Kair of Diff is a big hit,

Wiv those wot likes alirrle 'bit'.

Oi oi, dunt be dense!

Youknowzitmakezsense!

Join the clarts and the slags, like innit?

* Wot Taffy peeps calls Cardiff, like innit. If you wants a lesson in Taff like, av a look under the Taffing laybels in that cloudy fingy on the right.

Cardiff Map 1946

J is for...

2011-04-12T10:00:00.019+01:00

Jiggly Bits

If your boobage weighs more than an ounce,

They're sure to wobble and bounce.
Giving flirty giggles,

And wriggles and jiggles.

Will cause several male members to pounce.

Image borrowed from empireonline.com

I is for...

2011-04-11T09:56:00.000+01:00

Innuendo

I admit to an age over thirty,

And some people say I am flirty.

Double meanings are fun,

When you need a good pun.

So go on, get down with the dirty!

Image borrowed from here.

H is for ...

2011-04-09T10:00:00.037+01:00

Humping*

What sets your heart rate to thumping?

And gets your blood really pumping?

I'm sure you can guess,

But will you confess,

To a wish for daily humping?

Obviously this sign is a spoilsport

*Ok, you knew I would reach this level at some point, aye?

Image borrowed from laughpartydotcom

G is for...

2011-04-08T10:00:00.013+01:00

Gurning

If fun is what you are yearning,

Then lend your face to some gurning.

In just a short while,

You'll make people smile,

A feat that's always worth earning.

Me & my girl being silly again...

F is for...

2011-04-07T10:00:00.001+01:00

Fwuztwatin

Making up words is a must,

When your keyboard decides to go bust.

It's really frustrating

- or make that fwuztwatin

When your 'r' has bitten the dust.

Image borrowed from instructables.com

E is for...

2011-04-06T10:00:00.002+01:00

Ellie

There dwells in my house an Ellie,

Who's fond of strawberry jelly.

She often tells tales

On big brother Dale

And believes that all boys are 'smelly'.

Image self-taken.

D is for...

2011-04-05T10:00:00.004+01:00

Drabbles

To write to set rules can be tricky,

When counting the words I am picky.

I hope it's not babble,

That makes up my drabble,

With words such as 'clicky' and 'jicky'.

*shifty*

Image borrowed from Google images.

C is for...

2011-04-04T08:11:00.000+01:00

Cardiffella

Cardiffella's the name of my book,

I'm hoping to cast out a hook

To catch me an agent

Who'll think I'm a talent

And will ask to have another look.

Artwork by Ana Karina Padilla

A Quick Taff

2011-04-03T22:54:00.001+01:00

Oi oi peeps! Just a quick post today, like innit? I was plannin a big Taff ramble for me 200th post, see, but itz a bit ducked up now coz I iz doing that A-Z- fingy. This is post #199 ackchooly, but issallgood coz I have tomorrow's post all scheduled like, so techniklee itz still post number 200. *nods* Youknowzitmakezsense!

Anywayz, this A-Z- fingy is well wicked and I iz aving a propa blast, like. Lotsa peeps ave bin commentin, like, and I gorra few more followers annallat, which is well lush, like innit.

The only problum is ... well, Blogger is being a right bugger. It's wicked slow, like, and keeps freezin all the bluddy time. Itzdoinmyhedin! I iz doing my very best to comment on the blogs ov the peeps wot commeted like, and I iz clicking the widget fingy on the page that takes me to random blogs too, so I is trying like, I really iz.

So if you finks I iz being all ignorunt like, then fink again. I really apreeshiates all ov your comments, they really makes my day like, innit? I will keep trying to read and post comments like, but if Blogger keeps being a bugger, it might take alirrlebi longer than it shood. I'll get there in the end though, coz at the end of the day, we A-Zers shood stick togevver and support eachovver, right?

So Happy Almost 200 Blogiversary to me, Happy A-Zing to evryone wots taking part, and lastly, Happy Muvver's Day to all my fellow slags in Kairdiff (and the rest of the world wot sellibrates Muvver's Day today too).

Taffy Tara over and out, like innit.

Image borrowed from this yer web page.

B is for...

2011-04-02T11:01:00.000+01:00

Blogging!!!

I never thought I would be blogging,

For me, as unlikely as jogging.

I'm more of a walker,

And blog? I'm a talker!

But look, it's a laptop I'm hogging!

Image permission.

A is for...

2011-04-01T17:39:00.000+01:00

Avoiding

My middle name is 'Procrastinate',

Tis why I am almost always late.

Of tasks I'm a hater,

I'll get to them later,

To do things last minute is my fate.

Image borrowed from larrysheckell.com

Limericking

2011-03-30T21:50:00.000+01:00

Some of you may remember that the other day I stated I would unofficially take part in the April A-Z Challenge. Some of you may also note that my blog now has the rather unmissable A-Z Challenge icon displayed on the right.

*shifty*

OK, so I gave into temptation and committed myself after all.

Anyway, I have decided that I needed a theme, and that the theme had to be amenable to short posts (this being not a rule as such, but a guideline, seeing as those taking part also have to read as many participating blogs as possible during the challenge). First I thought, 'Aha! Drabbles!', but that is something that I do pretty regularly for The Burrow, and I fancied a change. So I will be limericking (not a word, but I like the sound of it, so there *nods*) for the duration of the month of April.

And that's all I have to say today!

Image permission.

Blog #195

2011-03-29T16:22:00.000+01:00

"Blog #195". A catchy title, that. I have a love/hate relationship with titles. Well, it's more a sort of I can Think Of A Title Really Easily/ I Can't Think OF A Title For Love Nor Money kind of thing, actually. The thing with titles is that they need to be short and snappy, and also allude somehow to the story/blog post etc that they are heading.

I have no fixed pattern for deciding on titles when it comes to blogging. Sometimes I have a title worked out before I sit down to type, while other times I finish writing the piece, check for typos etc, find pictures if I need them, then spend x amount of time trying to think of a header.

When it comes to stories, however, I have two solid habits. When writing a longer length story - my two attempts at novels and my novel and novella length fan fictions fall into this category - I need my title right from the off. Generally I have a good idea where the story is going, and what the most important theme or aspect is going to be, and having my title fixed firmly in my mind helps me to stick to my theme.

Shorter stories, however, are a different kettle of fish. I don't think I've ever written a short story with the title already worked out. Usually I finish writing, then read through it to see if I can think of something snazzy to call it. I think short stories are more in my comfort zone because they are, to a certain extent, unplanned. All of my short stories tend to be written in one sitting, and usually I have no idea how they will end, I just wait and see where the muse takes me. Hence the No Title Until Finished habit.

But what I want to know is, does having a title up front make any difference to the story? Does it make you more focused? Are you more likely to stick to a plan if you have a title? Or do you feel the story needs to be finished before it can be given a name?

I think with blogs, it doesn't really matter so much, but if you are naming your book - something you have spent months, or even years, working on - it matters a great deal. Like naming a baby, naming your novel is a personal thing. I had the names for my children settled long before I gave birth to them, just as I named my longer stories/novels long before they were finished (or even written, for that matter). Some people might feel they can't name their baby (or book) until they see them face to face. Everyone's different, and one way is no better than another.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on titles...

Image permission.

Ooh, Shiny!

2011-03-28T17:12:00.000+01:00

So I popped by to answer any comments from my last post (which I still haven't done *shifty*), and was very surprised to see that Deirdra of A Storybook World had given me the Powerful Woman Writer award for this blog. I'm not quite sure how I 'qualified' for this award - what with my rambling, my Taffing, and my general nuttiness - but I'm not going to quibble over it as it is a beautiful award and it made me smile when I saw it.

When I looked into it a bit further, I discovered that there are a number of awards that Deirdra hands out, each of them beautifully illustrated pieces on their own, as well as lovely ideas for awards. Inspiring, magical, creative... these are just three of the awards that the lovely Deirdra could bestow on you. I recommend visiting her site, which is not only beautiful to look at, but is very writer-friendly too. Deirdra also encourages you to nominate other bloggers that you feel are worthy of one of her stunning awards. I've already discovered some new blogs (and saw some familiar ones too) on her awards roll, and will no doubt be adding several to my already too long reading list.

So a big 'Thank You' to Deirdra for the award, and for also helping me to discover some fabulous new blogs. And also for reminding me that one of these days I need to go through all my posts and dig out the other awards that were given to me, but had no idea at the time how to go about displaying them....*shifty*

Making Plans... Sort Of.

2011-03-22T16:28:00.000Z

Anyone who knows me well will know that I don't 'do' plans. Really, they're just not happening. It's not the making of them that is hard - I've made countless plans over the years - it's the executing part that I have trouble with. *shifty*

I'm in the process of following a plan at the moment, and so far I'm not doing too bad with it. In order to have a finished manuscript by the end of the first week of June, I decided that one chapter per week in my 'polishing and tweaking' schedule should do it. I've been leaving it till the weekends, but so far I'm good. I should be going through chapter three this week, and I am on target. Whether I stick it out for another ten weeks is another thing, but we shall see.

I'm also doing better with this blogging malarkey. I haven't been blogging every day, but that was never something that I intended anyway. Realistically, I'm hoping for between 150 and 200 blog posts per year, that way I am blogging for around half of the 365 days. I've amassed 41 (including this one) posts for this blog this year, and four on my Cardiffella blog, and we are nigh on three months into 2011. If I stick to this pace, I reckon I should do it. But in order to keep at this pace, I will need to blog every day for at least one month out of every three.

So, with this in mind, I'm not officially joining next month's A-Z blog challenge (I seem to do better with these things if I don't formally commit), but I am going to have a go. There is the NaBloWriMo in October to cover my post-a-day for the last quarter of the year, so that's good. I predict a request for, er, requests, that month, obviously. And as for the month of blogging daily in the July/August/September section of the year... well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Hopefully I'll have some exciting news to post on my other blog that will fill up some posts, but I'm not counting any chickens just yet.

As for this blog, I am nearing my 200th post (yay!), and am beginning to think about what I will do to mark the occasion. It may not seem like a big deal to most people, but for a procrastinator, 200 blog posts is huge. Not to mention the fact that I have been blogging off and on now for eighteen months, itself an achievement for someone who usually 'forgets' about writing commitments.

And there we have it, my 'sort of' plans for the near future. It's a ramble to be sure, but I'm pretty sure I haven't surprised anyone there...

Image Permission

What's Wrong With These People??

2011-03-18T16:19:00.000Z

The picture is poor quality, so you can't really see how bad the welt is, but this is the state of my son's leg at the moment. He also has a large welt around his ankle area on the same leg.

Why?

Because about an hour and a half ago, some 16 year old kid thought it would be fun to attack my son with a large tree branch. The little ****** came from nowhere, attacked my son, tackled him to the ground (with another friend to help him), and all the while another sadistic little sh*t recorded the whole incident on his mobile phone.

You know, I'm so angry right now that I can't even compose my thoughts properly. What the hell is going on in this world??

Cardiff Mourns A Daughter *

2011-03-15T21:42:00.001Z

Hello everyone, Ima Nutcase here, intrepid reporter for The Daily Ramble. Usually I cover the human interest stories, with the odd bit of insanity thrown in here and there, but today I have some sad news for my regular readers.

You will probably remember several of my more popular interviews with Tara Smith (23), a young author-in-waiting who was embarking on the daunting journey of writing and publishing a novel. The youthful Cardiffian had written a chick lit novel set in her home city of Cardiff, and after more than a year of procrastinating, had been on the brink of finally polishing her final draft.

You will no doubt remember her trials and tribulations as she initially began writing about her modern day Cinderella and her talking pussy (cat). There were endless computer problems, boken keboas, lack of time issues, lack of inspiration issues, and, perhaps the most drastic problem of all,overcoming her procrastination urges. We will, perhaps, forget about the time when her despair drove her to drink several large bottles of vodka. Or if not forget, then smile with remembered fondness.

Of course, she eventually overcame her obstacles and finished her first draft. All of Cardiff rejoiced as a daughter of the city took her first steps to Authorsville. You will remember that there was a long period of idleness just after this, when our youthful author did not even look at her flawed manuscript. It was, in fact, another 16 months before Tara Smith (still 23, of course) decided she could not put it off any longer. It was when the eternally 23 year old finally pulled her butt into gear and started polishing her mass of typos and spelling errors, that tragedy struck. Yes, our favoured (young) daughter of Cardiff has passed on, forever sleeping in her 23 year old body.

But how did she die? Ah, my faithful readers, that is perhaps the most tragic part of this woeful report.

Our perky author-to-be was sat down happily tapping away at her working keboa, when she heard a strange voice. This hitherto unknown voice was apparently giving her pointers on how to edit her novel, and, to put it bluntly, was being quite helpful. At first the doomed young woman thought it was her Inner Voice - Ms Smith had always put great stock into these types of things you understand - but then she was struck by rather an absurd idea. The voice sounded suspiciously like how she'd imagined her talking pussy would sound from her novel. In fact, the original Muse behind her Muse (said pussy's name) was her very own feline friend, the beautiful Belle, and Belle appeared to be moving her mouth in time with the unknown voice.

Ms Smith (23, in case you forgot), was struck dumb (itself a most unusual feat) as she prepared to accept the strange fact that her cat had begun to talk to her. In her haste to prove the seemingly impossible, Ms Smith decided to put her laptop to one side, pick up her pussy (who was still moving her mouth in a most alarming fashion), and begin a conversation.

And this is where tragedy struck our ill-fated friend. On rising from her chair, Ms Smith performed one of her famous Tara-Trips (though this time she at least managed to keep her boobage firmly within her jumper). She in fact tripped over her cat, skidded across her shiny laminate flooring, hit her head on the side of her solid pine coffee table, which, upon collision, began to wobble and thus spill the half cup of coffee that was perched on the edge.

All this, and perhaps our young author might still have survived. Unfortunately, the up-ended cup of coffee landed on poor Belle, who immediately shook the offending liquid from her beautiful silver-tabbied fur. Again, Ms Smith was still breathing, but with the typical unfortunate timing of these tragic accidents, a stroke of lightening managed to hit the aerial outside the house, shooting its electrical current straight through to the TV which was situated right next to the coffee table, and also, alas, next to the poor dripping pussy.

Poor Belle shook and quivered as she was struck by the current, the force of which hurtled the poor feline through the air, landing with unerring accuracy upon Ms Smith's face. Both cat and owner perished. Yes, dear readers, it is sad to report it, but it is true. One of the most promising young authors to come out of Cardiff since... well, since last year at the very least... has died, killed by the Muse who originally inspired her.

And so today, we remember Tara Smith (23). Wife, mother, writer of occasional blogs, and author of one unpublished novel. We remember her annoying habit of putting things off until the last minute; we remember her fondness for vodka, her overuse of innuendo, and her unfortunate habit of tripping over fresh air.

Mostly we will remember her for the way she died; smothered to death by a dripping and shaking pussy.

*shifty*

*Just in case anyone was worried, Tara Smith (23, oh alright 34 *grumbles*), is in fact alive and well. Which should be obvious as she is (or rather, I am) typing this post. This post being, by the way, my effort for The Watery Tart's Delusional Doom Blogfest.

What A Swizz!!!

2011-03-10T16:10:00.000Z

Remember how I posted a picture every day last month? I have a contract phone, and my monthly subscription includes so many minutes, texts and internet usage. Up until January, I was able to send pictures and it was included in my bill, so when I decided to post a picture every day it wasn't a problem.

However, after having my bill drop through my letterbox this morning, with a whopping extra twelve quid added to it for my picture messaging, I think it's safe to say I won't be posting self-taken images again any time soon. Back to trusty Wikimedia Commons and Public Domain Image sites from now on methinks...

And after almost a week without a real post, that's all you're getting. A moan, no picture, and two and a bit paragraphs.

*is not impressed*

Passing Through

2011-03-05T15:55:00.002Z

Psst! Tara's not here today as she's been busy cleaning up her manuscript. She did, however, take ten minutes to write an update post for her Cardiffella Blog. I have to say, it's about time she did something on that manuscript. It's all very well being a Fairy Godmother, but it's no good if people don't know about me, is it?

A Quick One

2011-03-04T21:32:00.000Z

I wasn't going to put up a post today as I couldn't think of anything to say, but as I was going through some photos on my Facebook profile, I came across this one and remembered how much I loved it.

The hat you can see (you could hardly miss it!) was perched on my mother's head, and I am beaming at her. In my one hand is my bouquet, and clasped in my other hand are the fingers of my then not-quite-three-year-old. The beam on her face for her mother echoes the beam on my own for mine.

Topsy Turvy

2011-03-03T22:43:00.001Z

It's been a mixed week so far. I have surprised myself by doing lots of different things on the computer that should have been done yonks ago for a start. *nods* I got around to cleaning the forum I am in charge of over at HPANA, finished posting the end of a fanfic on the same site, and updated two others (2k words each) that hadn't been touched for eighteen months (the eighteen months is a perfect example of how bad my procrastinating can get).

Speaking of which....

... this is pretty much the only thing I have done on the computer today. Playing the slots on one of the Facebook applications is about the only thing I can do to get my computer fix on a Thursday seeing as I usually work from 6am until 10am, then my sister visits from 11am until 10pm .

But on the other hand, I think I deserved a day of shirking, as not only did I do a lot for my HPANA needs, I also created a brand new blog page too. *nods again* Of course, I didn't create it with the intention of using it a great deal (not that anyone who knows me well would think that *snort*), it's more for the purpose of getting the word out about my novel which - wonder of wonders! - I am finally getting around to fixing up. If you have a spare minute, please pop along to Cardiffella, where over the next six months I will be giving updates on how my editing, polishing, and eventual submission process is going. *crosses fingers*

And that's all I have to say today. *nods one final time*

Shocked & Stunned

2011-03-02T17:19:00.000Z


Cardiffella cover draft, courtesy of my personal illustrator (and all round fabulous friend), Ana

So, fifteen months after I wrote the darn thing, today I finally read the entire manuscript for Cardiffella. And do you know what? It's not bad. I'd even go as far as saying that it's actually quite good. It's certainly a lot better than what I remembered. Don't get me wrong, I knew it wasn't complete tripe because I've had several people read it (including one family member), and everyone gave me positive feedback, but I'd put off reading it through because I was worried that I would find it completely un-fixable. Oh, it needs work, obviously, but it definitely wasn't a complete waste of a month writing it.

I managed to correct most of the typing and spelling errors (I would say all of them, but I know I will have missed some), and I altered a few mistakes that I made with character names and what not. The biggest job is adding the extra ten thousand words that it needs in order to be long enough for submitting to a publisher. I wrote a prologue last year which sits at just under two thousand words, but those other eight thousand or so need to be incorporated into the main body of text, and that's going to be tricky.

Oh, I can see areas that need a little elaboration, sure, but the problem that I have is that I actually really like large sections of it, and don't want to mess with it too much. I figure this is the bane of any writer who is going through the awful burden of editing their work. Despite putting off reading and editing it, I am really attached to my modern little fairy tale, and am fighting the Editing Monster with all my might.

One thing that I am determined not to change are the pussy jokes. Okay, I may have overdone them slightly (er, probably more than slightly), but with one of my primary characters being a talking cat, that was always going to be the case anyway.

Actually, there are two things that I won't change. My main character, Ella, spends a good deal of her time cursing, and usually that's not the norm for a chick lit novel. But my modern day Cinderella needs to swear, it's part of who she is, and quite frankly the story would lose a lot of its humour if I took out the cursing.

So as I go through it again in a more severe editing round, my copious pussy jokes and wide selection of curses will definitely be safe from that pesky backspace button. *nods*

Mixed Up March

2011-03-01T19:08:00.000Z

Ha! I bet you thought that after a whole month of blogging (albeit mostly pictures), there wouldn't be anything new on here until at least July. But nope, for some reason I have been really good lately and mostly kept to my newly non-procrastinating ways. Not only did I blog all of last month, but in the last few days I have finished posting up the end of one of my fanfictions, and written updates for two others. I'm pretty sure that it won't last forever, but I'm taking advantage while I can.

Seeing as the whole 'theme for a month' thing worked so well last month, I thought I'd make a new label and call it 'Mixed Up March'. This is both good and bad. It's good because I have a new label, which means posts need to be written to justify having it. *nods* It's bad because the actual 'theme' isn't really a theme at all. You see, this month's posts are going to be about anything and everything. You may get a picture, you may not. You may get a serious post, you may get a silly post, or maybe even a Taff post. I can guarantee that you'll be getting some rambling posts, but other than that I have no idea what's going to go up.

See what I mean about there being no theme in my 'themed' month? I'm pretty much going to be posting what I have always posted, so really this month didn't need a label at all. I'm hoping that having this label will trick me into thinking I have to write blog posts for the whole month. It's not likely, but you never know - after all, I'm not the brightest star in the sky, but trickery has been known to work in the past.

Anyway, I'll end this by posting a picture of my daughter in the rugby shirt that I blogged about yesterday...

Mission Accomplished!

2011-02-28T23:17:00.001Z

Yup, today's the last day of February, and I have managed to post a picture for each of the twenty eight days. *faints* A couple were recycled photographs, but the majority were taken on the same day of posting*. I'm definitely not gifted with a camera, and as my only 'tool' was my mobile phone (which doesn't have the best camera on there anyway), none of the pictures will win any prizes, but it's definitely been a fun challenge to complete, even if the challenge was self-inflicted (so to speak).

I'm into the last hour of the last day of the month (leaving things almost until the last minute as usual), so my last photo was a 'grab something - ANYTHING!!!! - and take a piccy' kind of thing. *shifty* Tomorrow is St David's day (the patron saint of Wales), and I have pulled out my daughter's rugby shirt instead of her usual school uniform. In her younger days, she would dutifully wear the traditional Welsh lady's costume, but she's now at that awkward age where the children's costumes are far too small, and the adult costumes are far too big. She's would prefer the traditional costume, of course (complete with hat and mop cap), but I kind of like the rugby shirt as the alternative option.

Happy St David's Day to my fellow Welshies!

*One photo this month was taken by my husband, not me, but as he did it on my behalf when I couldn't leave the house, I figure it wasn't cheating. *winks*

Pestering Plans Backfire

2011-02-27T22:39:00.000Z

A couple of days ago I posted a note on my Facebook page alerting members of HPANA (the Harry Potter site that I moderate for) that I would be doing a mass delete of inactive story threads from the boards next week. The (somewhat sneaky) plan was to remind people that they have unfinished stories that need either completing, or saying good bye to. I was hoping that at least a few members would decide that completing a story was far better than having it deleted.

Anyway, a fair number of threads had people swiftly post a comment to them - making them technically 'active', thus ineligible for deletion - but most of these comments came from just a handful of readers who wanted to keep their favourite stories on the boards. Thankfully, there has also been a couple of authors posting too, with tentative plans to continue their stories.

So the plan worked in a way, though not as well as I would have liked. Unfortunately, it also backfired on me, and now the Guilty Star is hovering slightly too close for comfort. I had some friends post some pestering comments on three of my own threads. One of these threads contains short stories, and these types of threads are always safe as I believe they should always be available to read. However, I also have two longer length stories that I never got around to finishing, one of them substantially long. So I have spent the better part of today re-reading the last third of one of my own stories. It has been eighteen months since I last updated it (this is where that Guilty Star comes into play), and I seriously had no idea what was going on with it. I don't see me completing the two stories any time soon, but I owe it to myself to finish the story that I have, over the years, put a lot of work into. Not to mention that I also owe it to a bunch of readers who have stuck with me since 2005 -!- and have always returned to read whenever I posted one of my infrequent updates.

So the tale of Remus Lupin, boy-wolf, shy teen, and perhaps Best-Of-The-Marauders, shall soon be continued.

An Experiment

2011-02-26T18:34:00.000Z

One of the nicest things about having short hair (as well as the easy manageability factor) is that you get to show off some nice earrings. I had my ears pierced when I was seven, but eventually had to let them close because of an allergic reaction. Over the years I have attempted to wear earrings on special occasions, but usually I have given up because my earlobes decided to swell to about three times their normal size.

As I am going out for the evening, I have decided to give it another go. I grabbed a pair of my daughter's sterling silver earrings (I've only tried gold in the past), dipped them in boiling water, bathed my ears, and with surprising ease (considering my last attempt was for my wedding, six and a half years ago) pushed said earrings into my ears. They seem fine so far, but it's only been half an hour. I guess I'll find out by the end of the night whether my ears will still look normal, or whether they will look like they've been blown up like a balloon....

*crosses fingers*

Here's One I Made Earlier

2011-02-25T21:08:00.001Z

Or rather, here's one I took earlier. A picture, that is. I completely forgot to take a picture today what with one thing and another, but I don't want to fail on my Post A Picture Every Day In February thingy, so I am recycling a photo I took last year. *nods*

I took this when me and the daughter were waiting for a bus one Sunday afternoon. I had been busy that day - I'd worked my 6-2 shift, gone home and cleaned the house, bathed the daughter and got us both ready for a trip to the local pub. It was karaoke, and we were meeting daddy. The daughter was bubbling because she couldn't wait to grab the mike and sing Taylor Swift and Keisha songs, and I was looking forward to my pint of Guinness after a hard day's slog.

One of the few pictures of myself that I like, but the memory is even better.

Last Minute Change Of Plan

2011-02-24T21:58:00.000Z

There was a slight accident at work today. And when I mean slight, I actually mean quite major. And possibly fatal, but thank goodness nobody was around when it happened. One of the strip lights in the warehouse fell down, bringing large amounts of dust, metal from the shelving, and glass from the light itself down with it.

There was an almighty crash, but with my poor hearing I thought it was my colleague dropping a tray or something in the kitchen. *shifty* The warehouse floor was covered in debris and was in complete darkness. The lucky thing was that my colleague from the kitchen was about to walk through that exact area, so she had an extremely close call, and I myself had only been walking through the area minutes before that. *shudders*

Anyway, I meant to take a picture of the mess so that I could post it on here when I got home, but I forgot. *shifty once more* So here's a piccy of the ornament that used to sit on the computer desk in my living room, but since we now have the TV and computer linked, this little fella now lives on top of the hi-fi.

Just Ask! We're Here To Help!

2011-02-23T17:22:00.000Z

So we got our new uniforms at work today, and they are a vast improvement on the sickly green coloured blouses and black waistcoats that we've had up until now. What's more, the people at the top have been quite generous this time around and issued everyone with one top per shift and a jacket too.

I now have three black polo shirts (much more comfortable and practical than those pesky blouses) and a black jacket. Black being my favourite colour to wear, this is a good thing. And I can live with the 'Spar, There For You' logo which is printed fairly discreetly on the front.

Not so keen on the logo emblazoned across the back in huge letters though...

I foresee a future of finger tapping on the shoulder.

Got Milk?

2011-02-22T19:49:00.000Z

So Tuesday's the day that I do my weekly grocery shop, and this week was no different to any other. I mentally calculated the bill as I was going around the supermarket, I hunted for bargains, I tried to find something different for meals but ended up getting what I always get...

I hate it. Seriously, I loathe grocery shopping. I actually hate all shopping, but as I never have any money to spare, grocery shopping is about the only shopping that I do. I'm sure that if I had pounds to spare, I would enjoy it a lot more, but shopping on a strict budget is frustrating at the best of times, and downright stressful at the worst.

Today my fridge is full, but as we near the weekend it was slowly but surely become emptier, with less options for the daily main meal. One thing that I always have plenty of is milk. I get through four pints a day, and with the local supermarket having the bargain price of two four pinters for £1.60 (most other places charge the same price for one bottle), my fridge is overtaken by milk on my shopping day.

There, I'm sure you'll all sleep much better now that you know that. *snort*

Mugs Ahoy

2011-02-21T18:06:00.000Z

I like mugs. Just to be clear, I mean the type you drink from, not people who are extremely gullible. Anyway, I DO like my mugs, and the bigger the better because I am a tea freak. I like the occasional cup of coffee, but tea is my preferred hot beverage.

Now, I have a perfectly good set of matching mugs draped over the branches of my mug tree, but I don't like to use them. I like my mismatched mugs, you see. The ones from the novelty Easter egg sets, the odd ones from the pound shops, the personalised ones, the one you accidentally let drop into your daughter's buggy when you were having a frothy coffee in Starbucks...

*coughs*

Anyway, mismatched mugs are my preferred container when I want a cuppa. Here's a small selection of my current batch:

Avon Calling!!

2011-02-20T20:01:00.000Z

I don't know about outside of the UK, but over here we have The Avon Lady. In years gone by she would be a middle-aged woman dressed impeccably in tweed, and she would call on you with a brochure to look through. The brochure would contain health and beauty products, and was strictly for women only.

Nowadays, the Avon Lady generally works from home and you only see her when she collects the brochures that she posted through your door several days previously. The products include the original cosmetics and body care stuff, but they now cater for men too. They also sell anything from handbags to lingerie.

The thing with Avon is that I never intend to buy anything, but I usually end up filling out an order form anyway. Mostly it is stuff I don't need, so why I order it I don't know. *is clueless*

This is the latest brochure that was given to me by my friend. I told myself I wouldn't even look at it, but, well, I of course ignored my own advice. Still, they did have a few bargains in there...

Tricky Time

2011-02-19T15:38:00.000Z

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I am a mother of an almost fifteen year old and a nine year old. It seems like only a short while ago that I was fifteen myself, and I can remember some things from that age clearer than I can remember things that happened just a few short weeks ago. Whether that's because my teenage memories are mostly good, so I remember them fondly, or if it's because my brain is going a bit kooky now that I have a teenager of my own, is anyone's guess.

Anyway, this picture was taken when my son was six and my daughter a mere nine months. If I close my eyes, I can almost trick myself into thinking that was eight days rather than eight years ago, Time's a funny thing.

Slightly Imperfect

2011-02-18T19:07:00.000Z

I got engaged on my nineteenth birthday, and now, almost sixteen years later, I still wear the same ring. One of the claws holding the stone in place is missing, so it is no longer perfect, but if I were offered a replacement I would refuse. We've been through a lot, my ring and I. As well as several thousand dips into soapy water, it has also survived many blips over the years where, like my relationship, it was on, off, then on again.

Like many things, it's maybe a little bit flawed but, again, like many things, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Never Too Late

2011-02-17T12:47:00.002Z

Over eleven years after the fact, and thanks to my parents, there's finally a memorial stone at my daughter's resting place. It's taken a long time to happen, but better late than never.

Night Night, Sleep Tight

2011-02-16T20:59:00.000Z

When my daughter goes to bed, there is a little bit of a routine involved. Along with the usual tidy up, don nightie and brush teeth, there is also the preparing of the bed itself.

The pillows need to be plumped, the five scatter cushions placed just so at the bottom of the bed, the dressing gown laid over the cushions, the character sleeping bag spread over the duvet. And last, but not least, the arrangement of her sleeping companions. These can differ from week to week, but Ellie Belly is always in there somewhere. Ellie Belly is the white teddy bear in the middle, and her namesake (my daughter) never sleeps without her. She is dressed most days in her specially made clothes, and she needs her nightie to wear for bed just like my daughter. She is starting to wear a bit now, but although I'm sure Ellie will love getting a new friend from the Build-a-Bear workshop, Ellie Belly will always be the one who shares her pillow.

Double Dutch

2011-02-15T20:17:00.000Z

Okay, so the language isn't Dutch, it's Welsh, but it might as well be Dutch to me as despite being Welsh myself, I don't speak the language. The 'double' refers to the fact that every sign in Wales has the words printed both in English and Welsh (if that wasn't clear, though it probably was).

The funny thing about the Welsh language is that it seems to take more words to say something than it does in English. To be fair, this might not be unique to Welsh, but as I don't really know any other languages (apart from a little French and Italian), I can't really prove this.

Thus this post doesn't really have a point, and might as well be Double Dutch, just like the sign is.

Here endeth the ramble. *nods*

Post and Run

2011-02-14T21:53:00.000Z

Yup, it's a case of sending a picture message, opening my email, saving to desktop and uploading to Blogger. Absolutely no interesting photo opportunities today, so the picture that I took this morning for emergencies such as these is being used much sooner than I hoped. Ah well.

Anywho...

Wherever Big Puss goes, Little Puss follows. I guess the double temptation of heat from the radiator and heat from the sun-warmed windows was too much to resist.

And yup, they were fighting about two minutes after I took this.

Chilling

2011-02-13T15:38:00.001Z

Another Sunday, and another 6 till 2 shift at Spar. Aside from the general customer dealings and office work, my main responsibilities include the chilled and produce sections. Every shift that I work I usually check all of the 'use by' dates on the bread, the dairy, the chilled and the produce, then reduce accordingly and remove things that are out of date. These checks are done daily and most of the staff take their turn, but as I always work the early shift it is usually down to me on 'my' days.

Aside from these checks, we either have an order to make up or a delivery to put out for these sections six days out of seven. It's all hands on deck for the delivery, but the orders are done by the manager or supervisors only, so being a supervisor means that I'm in charge of ordering the correct amount of products for two of the three weekly orders.

Hence today's picture, for I always seem to have my head stuck in a fridge (er, not literally, but you know what I mean) whenever I am at work.

Framed

2011-02-12T18:03:00.000Z

I am having a lazy day today, which translates as staying in my jim-jams and not venturing outside. Therefore I am limited in my photo opportunities. I wandered through the house searching for something to capture on my camera, and while I lingered in my bedroom (taking a piccy of some books for Monday's post on BB&B), I spotted the framed picture that my daughter made several years ago.

Usually we are bombarded with all of the pictures and crafts that our kids make during school hours, but the local primary school decided a few years ago that if they framed a piece of artwork made by every child in the school, they could make some money (not that I am being cynical or anything). The area I live in is not known for being affluent - in fact the majority of families are on welfare - so it was quite stressful for those families who had several children in the school, for of course they could not buy one picture without buying the others. Luckily I only had two children in the school, and the hubby was working. Despite the somewhat mercenary tactics of the school, it was a nice idea to have a framed piece of artwork made by your own child. My son's was rather abstract (and I will no doubt share on another lazy day), but my daughter's efforts were definitely more girly, and definitely appropriate for a child of four.

Mixing The Old With The New

2011-02-11T22:17:00.000Z

Cardiff, my home city, is getting more and more popular every year. We've become a tourist magnet in the last ten years, mostly because of our sporting amenities, and the recently upgraded shopping centres. It's safe to say that there has been a lot of improvements made to the structural look of the city in the last two decades, but dotted here and there amongst the more modern stuff, we still have some nice Victorian buildings gracing our streets.

One of the nicest is the library in Canton, which was erected and 'donated' to the people of Cardiff over a century ago in 1906. You would think that an old fashioned building like this one would look odd amongst all of the supermarkets, betting shops and estate agents that fill up the busy Cowbridge Road, but it doesn't. I think it fits in quite nicely.

Mrs Boombastic

2011-02-10T18:25:00.000Z

So I have some new neighbours (on both sides of my house, actually), and both are young mums who appear to like their music. A lot. Now, I've got nothing against playing music in the house - even loud music - I mean, I like to blast some tunes when the mood takes me too. I don't even mind the type of music as I generally like most things anyway.

What I don't like is when the music starts pumping and is still going strong hours later. Hours and hours later. Weekends, yes, up until a certain time. And I understand that people have parties on Saturday nights. But I have to get up before the sun rises three days a week, and despite my poor hearing, I can hear the thump thump thump long into the wee hours of the morning. Not good.

Me being me, I decided to make a point. It stands to reason that if you are up partying until three or four in the morning, you are going to want to stay asleep until at least eleven the following day. Now, I have children who are early risers, and generally the entire household is well awake by nine. I figure some nice loud music is a good way to start the day. *shifty* So my spiffy 3ft speakers are now perched on my brand new sideboards, and are thump thump thumping along quite nicely, thank you very much.

Fond of Found Favourites #2

2011-02-09T18:00:00.000Z

Ack!! It's almost 6pm and I've been on the go all day! Nothing's inspiring me in the house, and as I'm currently slouching around in my pyjamas, I don't think I'll be venturing outside this evening to take a picture. So it's going to have to be a 'Fond of Found Favourites #2' post today. *nods*

I have taken a picture - so it's still a fresh photo (sort of) *shifty* - of a photo that I found the other day of my previous puss. Dipsy (my son was one at the time of naming, and heavily into the Teletubbies *eyeroll*) was run over and killed by a speeding driver five years ago, and I still miss her. She was supposed to be the family pet, but as far as she was concerned she was MY cat - she was bad tempered with everyone except me, and I was the only person she allowed to hold her. She was soft and cuddly, and she used to love being cradled just like a human baby. Damn all speedy drivers who use small side streets to avoid speed bumps!!!

Ooh Er

2011-02-08T12:17:00.000Z

It's cold, damp and foggy here in the Diff today, and I have about ten minutes before I have to leave for a work thingy, so this post is even shorter than ever, but a short post is better than no post, right? Don't want to miss a day seeing as I am doing quite well so far this month...

Anywho, on my walk to the Post Office this morning (during which visibility was very poor), I walked past several road signs. Now, me being me (someone who never fails to miss an innuendo opportunity), I couldn't resist taking a shot of one of these signs, particularly as I always have a Giggle Moment whenever I see them.

*shifty*

Princess of Procrastination

Today's Special Offer!

Lellied Again...

Playpuss

Ms. Jekyll & Ms. Hyde

Waiting

Deceiving Sun

Paws on Pause

Rant Against A Romance Basher

*is somewhere else*

Princess Poll

Well, Hello Stranger!

*embracing the oddness*

*is introducing a friend*

*is ducking about*

*thinks customers are a pain up the butt*

*is not dreaming*

*is slightly slugged*

*is slightly worried about the way some people think*

* is pi-ed off*

*is in chocolate heaven*

*coughs*

*is loving the sauciness*

*is explaining the nonion phenomenon*

*is not doing THAT*

*has wealth of knowledge on bicarb*

*is severely lacking*

*is changing the post's title*

Nonions And Stuff

Returning With A Request

Posting About Another Post

Another Quick One

The Numbers Are Lying

A Birrov This 'n That

Utilizing A Little-Used Label *

The Bond

A Different Princess

B.L.S.

I Wanna Be A Billionaire So Ducking Bad

Awaiting The Third.

A-Z Reflections Blog Hop

Z is for...

Y is for...

X is for...

W is for...

V is for...

U is for...

T is for...

S is for...

R is for...

Q is for...

P is for...

O is for...

N is for ...

M is for...

L is for...

K is for...

J is for...

I is for...

H is for ...

G is for...

F is for...

E is for...

D is for...

C is for...

A Quick Taff

B is for...

A is for...

Limericking

Blog #195

Ooh, Shiny!

Making Plans... Sort Of.

What's Wrong With These People??

Cardiff Mourns A Daughter *

What A Swizz!!!

Passing Through

A Quick One

Topsy Turvy

Shocked & Stunned

Mixed Up March

is somewhere else

embracing the oddness

is introducing a friend

is ducking about

thinks customers are a pain up the butt

is not dreaming

is slightly slugged

is slightly worried about the way some people think

is in chocolate heaven

coughs

is loving the sauciness

is explaining the nonion phenomenon

is not doing THAT

has wealth of knowledge on bicarb

is severely lacking

is changing the post's title