A Birrov This 'n That

So I fort I'd stop by, like, and give alirrle update on wot's 'appening at the mo. I iz pluggin away at me novel for BuNoWriMo, and thow the spiffy lirrle icon on me page says five fousand and summin, I iz now just past six fousand wordz. I just avent bovvered to update it again, like, coz it'd be pointless when I still 'as sum writin to do tonight, like innit? Me suspensful yoof story iz cummin along nicely, achully, and I iz well chuffed that the idea peers to be workin.

Az well az writin for me novel, I iz also workin' on a lirrle story for me clarts and clits at Spar (the place where I works, like innit). I iz mixing me work peeps with Pirates ov the Carrybeeun, and calling the story 'Pirates ov the Sparrebeeun', coz I is mad like that. I iz 'aving a right larf writin it, too!

Also, I iz well chuffed like, coz this iz blog number seventy-nine for two fousand and leven, which is bluddy bangin coz that means I av fishally beat last yer's blog count already like, and itz only the buginnin ov June!

In ovver news, I iz also chuffed coz I lost anovver five poundage of weight, which is very good indeed, like innit? Course, I bluddy put on ten poundage since Chrismus, so I iz only loozing wot I gained, but still, itz a step in the right direcshun, innit? Youknowzitmakezsense!

And thatz abou all I av for this yer update. Nuffin much else 'appenin yer in the Kair ov Diff, cept for the unusually nice wevvar, but I iz bettin the sun will go back behind the clowds almost before I finishes this yer blog post, so itz pointless givin it more than a breef menshun.

Anywayz, thassall for today, clarts and clits, I'll stop by in a coupla dayz or so wiv a propa blog post, but until then, later peeps!


Original image borrowed from here, but tweaked a bit by moi.

Y is for...

Youknowzitmakezsense! (It had to be, obviously. *winks*)

Taffing iz good, Taffing iz fab,

Taffing chases away all thatz drab.

So gerroff yer fence

Youknowzitmakezsense!

Coz Taffing's the Gift ov the Gab.

Image borrowed from here.


Apologies for being a little late today with my post, but work and life got in the way! Also, I have to apologise for not visiting as many blogs this week as I have done so far in the challenge, and not replying even more than usual. It's been a mad, mad week...

Lastly, a shout out to Amie Kaufman , who is my 100th follower! Thanks so much! Now I truly feel part of the blogger community (not that I didn't before, but this is somehow extra special). :D

T is for...

Taff Speak

There was a young girl from round yer like,

Who torked reelly Taffy, like this, like.

She dropped all her gees,

Replaced s's with zees,

Issallgood! Youknowzitmakezsense, like!

I'd claim ownership ov the pickchur coz itz well wicked, but I achully found it frew google images when I searched for 'clart', like innit. The propa origin is yer, like.


A/N - So technically I cheated by ending three lines with the same word, but one, not many decent words rhyme with 'like', and two, well, we Taffie's say like, like ALL the time, so it seemed apt.

K is for...

Kair of Diff *

The Kair of Diff is a big hit,

Wiv those wot likes alirrle 'bit'.

Oi oi, dunt be dense!

Youknowzitmakezsense!

Join the clarts and the slags, like innit?

* Wot Taffy peeps calls Cardiff, like innit. If you wants a lesson in Taff like, av a look under the Taffing laybels in that cloudy fingy on the right.


Cardiff Map 1946

A Quick Taff

Oi oi peeps! Just a quick post today, like innit? I was plannin a big Taff ramble for me 200th post, see, but itz a bit ducked up now coz I iz doing that A-Z- fingy. This is post #199 ackchooly, but issallgood coz I have tomorrow's post all scheduled like, so techniklee itz still post number 200. *nods* Youknowzitmakezsense!


Anywayz, this A-Z- fingy is well wicked and I iz aving a propa blast, like. Lotsa peeps ave bin commentin, like, and I gorra few more followers annallat, which is well lush, like innit.

The only problum is ... well, Blogger is being a right bugger. It's wicked slow, like, and keeps freezin all the bluddy time. Itzdoinmyhedin! I iz doing my very best to comment on the blogs ov the peeps wot commeted like, and I iz clicking the widget fingy on the page that takes me to random blogs too, so I is trying like, I really iz.

So if you finks I iz being all ignorunt like, then fink again. I really apreeshiates all ov your comments, they really makes my day like, innit? I will keep trying to read and post comments like, but if Blogger keeps being a bugger, it might take alirrlebi longer than it shood. I'll get there in the end though, coz at the end of the day, we A-Zers shood stick togevver and support eachovver, right?

So Happy Almost 200 Blogiversary to me, Happy A-Zing to evryone wots taking part, and lastly, Happy Muvver's Day to all my fellow slags in Kairdiff (and the rest of the world wot sellibrates Muvver's Day today too).

Taffy Tara over and out, like innit.

Image borrowed from this yer web page.

I really likes it, like innit...

Last night I waz avin sum wine like, and nosin around Facebook, azyoudoo, and I fort I'd do a status update fingy where I menshunned the fact that it would be nice to like, like it when people 'like' sumfink. On Facebook, see, if you iz feelin layzee and dunt want to bovver commentin on sumone's status, you can 'like' it, like innit? Only sumtimes, you might not like the fing that is on the status, but you might like the fact that sumone likes it nuntheless, youknowarrimean?  So there should definitely be sum way to like a like, like.

Anywayz, when I posted this yer conundrum, lotsa peeps started liking it, like. And then the peeps wot weren't being layzee also commented, and then they liked the comments about liking the likes too, like. And then I fort, bluddy ell, imagine bloggin about the likes in Taff speak, coz we Taffies always says like, like anyway.

Anywayz, by the end ov the night, like, there were like twenty odd notifications on my Facebook omepage, and most ov them waz likes. Peeps had been liking all over the place, like, it waz bluddy bangin! Course, I may ave fort it waz bangin coz of the wine, like, and praps the vodka might ave had a lirrlebi to do wiv it too. But it dunt marrer, like, one way or the ovver, coz I still fort it waz funny. Youknowzitmakezsense!

While I iz yer, like, I should probbly menshun that I have been feelin a lirrlebi guilty like, about the fact that I aven't blogged much so far this yer. In fact, this iz only like my second blog post of two fousand and leven. I iz a very norty Taffy and obviously needs a good spankin like, innit. I aven't been a total layzee slag though, coz I ave been working on my fantasee novel in and out, plus my normal working and home stuff too. The fing wiv blogs though, iz that I needs a subject to tork about, like, and I iz still aving probs finking ov stuff. No marrer, though, coz az lon az I dunt leave it for munths on end like I did last yer, like, then this yer will be an improovemunt, like innit.

Next week I will be mostlee bizzi wiv this and that, but I iz aiming to get sumfink posted aroundabou Wensdee, like, and praps I can put togevver anovver post for Saturdee too, like. We'll see. In the meantime, if you az a Facebook 'coount, maybee you should try liking everyfink on there. Even if you dunt like it. If nuffink else, it passes the time, like innit?

Youknowzitmakezsense!

Image permission.

A Slag's Guide To Kairdiff

Oi oi peeps! Tami asked me to like give a virtual tour of me home city like, and I fort it was a perfect 'pportunity to get me some Taffing in at the same time. Bangin!

Oi Oi French clarts! Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh!

I suppose the first fing people fink ov when they iz pictring Kairdiff is the castle, coz that's like probably the most famous fing in the city. It's open to the public like, fer a small fee, and you gets to like walk threw the halls and stuff, which is well wicked, and you also gets to climb onto the battlements too if you like, like, though there's tons of steps to climb, and you iz sort of knackered when you reaches the top. But issallgood coz the view iz bangin, and you can get alirrlebi of French Taunting in if you iz feeling the 'clination like, innit?



The reason we avs a hose ban in the summer like, innit

 A stone's frow from the castle is the Civic Centre, which avs Kairdiff University, the courthouses, and Kairdiff's main museum. There's like nice gardens and stuff too, wiv water features and everyfink. All this iz bang in the middle of Kairdiff, next to all the shops and stuff, so you can get in some wicked sight seeing and shopping all at once. Youknowzitmakezsense!

Shopping is bangin in Kairdiff coz we like avs a lirrlebi of everyfink all wivin spittin distance. We avs the big shopping centre ov course, wiv all the big departments stores and stuff, but then we also avs the quaint lirrle Victorian Arcades wiv weird and wonderful lirrle shops selling everyfink from vintage cloves to 'erbal remedies. And if you iz wanting sum fresh food and stuff, Kairdiff Indoor Market is well wicked coz it avs all your meat and veg as fresh as can be, plus loadsov awesum lirrle stalls that sells everyfink from books to kitchen utensils. Yup, shopping iz definitely a lush fing to do in Kairdiff.

I loves shopping I do....

If you iz wanting to relax, or just av a walk or somefink, you could visit Roath Park, which is only like fifteen minutes away from the town centre. Roath Park is well lush like, innit, coz it has bangin gardens to walk threw, a park for the sprogs to play in, and a massiv lake wiv ducks (that's ducks with a 'd', not swearing like, innit) and swans and boat rides and everyfink.

Ducking ell, where's all the ducks gone then?

Or if you likes to sowshalize and stuff, then the town centre has lots of bangin pubs and clubs you can visit; there's like one every few feet or so, which is like awesum, like, innit? I used to go clubbin all the time like, but that was yers ago.... *sighs* Nowadays I just go to me local pub.

Speaking ov, me local pub iz bangin. The Culverhouse iz about half an hour away from me 'ouse, and itz like the place you'll most likely find me on a Friday night. Me and me clart goes there most weeks if we can get sprogsitters, and sometimes we even take the sprogs wiv us if no-one is willing to be bribed.


Cheers, clart!


Back to the town clubs though, coz I was digressing a bit there, weren't I? After you've got totally pie-eyed, you iz definitely going to be wanting sum grub, and the only place to go when you are drunk in Kairdiff is our infamous Chip Alley. Caroline Street ( as itz properly called like) is basiclee a street wiv loadsov chip shops and kebab 'ouses, and on a Friday and Saturday night, iz like fullov clarts and clits lining up to buy bangin chicken-off-the-bone curry and chips, or massiv burgers and kebabs. Drunken clarts need greasy food! Youknowzitmakezsense!



Kairdiff Bay iz totally bangin

 But if you iz wanting a bit more sofisticayshun wiv your nosh, then you should probably go to Kairdiff Bay, coz that's like the posher part of Kairdiff and has nice restronts and stuff. Not to menshun the art gallery where me and me Burrow peeps had work displayed a coupla yers ago. *fondly remembers* Kairdiff Bay is also the place where they filmed the Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood (I fort a bitov trivia might be ov intrest round abou yer like, innit).

Anywayz, that's like the end ov me virtual tour like, so I 'opes you liked it and stuff. If you ever visits the Kair of Diff, make shore you visit all ov these bangin places, coz you'd be mad not to! YouKNOWZitmakezsense!

Taffiness Takes You Places

Oi oi clarts! I gorra do this yer blog in Taff Speak today fer a very speshal reason. You see, I've only gone and bin given a bluddy award, like innit? Itz the Strange Blog Award, which is like totally bangin', and woz given to me by the Watery Tart, like innit. Now, Tami gave me the award, like, and she gorrit from this clart called Steve (who I don't know at all, like, but thort it waz only decent to menshun him, like innit, speshally coz I iz using the award piccy, which I stole from Tami, who in turn stole it from this Steve clart, who I fink actually stole it from the clit wot started the whole shebang). Anywayz, parrently this award makez you eligable fer entry to a compatishun like (you can find the goss on it yer like, innit), and this compatishun is run by this clit called Cate Gardner, who iz the orfur ov this book ov short stories called Strange Men In Pinstripe Suits.

Anywayz, all you ave to do to enter this compatishun is, well, notalot really, ifyouknowzwhatimean.  The main fing iz that you ave to be strange. Well, thatz like, obvious, right, coz itz the Strange Blog Award.  Parrenty I qualified coz of me Taffing, but I'm not so shore. I mean, what's so odd about Taff Speak, it's like, perfectly normal - youknowzitmakezsense! Anyway, apart for the being strange fingy, there's a cupple of ovver fings you ave to do to enter this compatishun. Like, first ov all you ave to be given the Strange Blog Award - which is wicked like, coz one, itz a really bangin' award to get like, and two, you iz like half way to being entered into a compatishun already like, and you aint done nuffin yet! Anywayz, when you gets the award, like, you needs to like pass it alon to a few ovver strange clarts (or clits az the case may be like, innit - youknowzitmakezsense!), and let the clit called Cate know that you've done it like. Simple, easy peasy annallat.

Only the trubble iz, all ov the clarts and clits that I would ave passed itonto ave already ad it like (and the award too, parrently), so I iz gonna have to cheat alirrlebi, and just sort ov accept the award for now, and p'raps try and find sum ovver worvy clarts and clits atalater date like, innit? Itz a sad state of fairs like, that I dunt know alotov strange peeps. Well, actually I do, itz just that all ov them are so strange (and well wicked too, in the non-evil wicked way, ifyouknowzwhatimean) that they've bin reconized already. Obviously I needs to like widen my circle of clarts and clits, like innit. So anywayz, no compatishun entry for me at the moment, but thatz cool, coz I is more than chuffed at the Strange Blog Award anwayz.

Anywayz, thatsabouri fer now, partly becoz my power has gone like free times tonight (which is a right ducking nightmare) and I iz a lirrlebi scared that I'll lose the entire post, but mostly itz becoz my brain is more spongey than normal owing to the fact that itz now midnight and I've been awake since four o-ducking clock, so I can't fink of anyfink else to type like.

Fanks again to Tami, who gave me the award like, she's like the best clit evah!

Taffy Potter

Abow eight yers ago, just afta me doorter was born, I discovvahed 'arry Potter. I was bored like, you see, and coz me doorter was a right 'andful even when she was a baby, I 'ad to keep 'old of her for most of the time, so I needed lotsandlots of books to keep me occupied.

Anywayz, one ov me Taffy slags gave me the first four books in the 'arry Potter series, so I was well chuffed becoz it ment I could finally read all abow the craze what was sweeping threw Britain like. Becoz it was supposed to be, like, a kiddie book, I fink I read the first one in abow free hours or somefink. The story was wicked though, and I was a fan from the very first line.

Now most ov you probably already knowz all abow 'arry Potter, but becoz there are still possibly a few clarts out there who've never read the books, like, I'm gunna give you a quick summary ov 'arry's first adventure.

Now, first ov all, the story starts wiv baby 'arry being dropped off outside his aunt's house. There's this wicked wizard see, (and when I say wicked, I means wicked as in evil, not wicked as in bangin') and he's called You-Know-Who. Well really he's called Voldermort, like, but nobody sayz 'is name propa like coz it gives 'em the 'eebie jeebies. Anywayz, You-Know-Who has totally, like, murdered 'arry's parents, and even tried to pop off little 'arry 'imself. But 'arry becomes the Boy What Lived and stuff, which is wicked (ov the bangin kind, not the evil kind).

Not much 'appens for like ten yers, but luckily we gets to skip ahead and not, like, read threw pages and pages of boring stuff. Then 'arry gets visited by this huge clart called 'agrid, and it turns out he 'as to go to this magic school coz he's a wizard just like his parents was, like innit?

Now this is where the venture starts like, coz when 'arry gets to school like, he starts vestigatin some well dodgy stuff that's bin appening. He ends up wiv two clarts - well really it's a clart and a clit, like, innit, coz one's a boy and one's a slag. Anywayz, the trio (cos that's what peeps calls 'em after this point) find lotsa clues and stuff, and spend the next undred pages or so trying to work out who's tryin to steal this fing called the filosifer's stone.

Parrently, this stone is well wicked becoz it like gives you immortality and stuff.  Course, it's pretty obvious that it's You-Know-Who what's afta the stone like, but becoz the orfur wants to make it a little birrov of a misstree, the trio totally gets the wrong end ov the stick like and blames it on this teacher clart what's called Snape. Anywayz, there's this ovver bad clart too, and he's also a teacher (or a prufessor actually, coz that's what they calls the teachers in these books like, innit). This bad clart is in league with You-Know-Who  - sorta like one ov 'is minions if you like, like - and he totally fools everyone, speshally  'arry. Well, to be 'onest, 'arry can be a little birrova lame clart sometimes and dunt usually understand what's going on until the last minit, so it's not really a surprise that he gets fooled like, innit?

So 'arry and his clart and clit ventually cottons on that the bad teacher clart  is about to like steal the filosifer's stone on a particoolar night. They tries to tell the good teacher called Macgonnergle, but she like totally finks their lying and basiclee tells them to du....  uh, go away. Of course, the trio finks they can save the day all by themselves like, so they hatches a plan. Well, to be 'onest they dunt really hatch a plan, they just sorta muddles threw everyfink, but youknowzwhatImean.

Course, afta they've solved a few puzzles and stuff, the clart and the clit ends up 'aving to stay behind (coz the clart ends up knocked out and the clit wants to look afta him like). So 'arry ends up confrunting the bad teacher all by 'imself. Now I won't spoil fings for those peeps that avent read the book yet (I mean, I knowz I've already told you lotsov stuff already like, but I aint givin everyfink away, like innit?), but suffice to say that 'arry, even though he's a birrova lame clart mostly, manages to save the stone.

And that's basiclee the end of the book like, cept 'arry  spends sum time in the school infurmurry, and gets visited by the clart what has the long white beard (who is actually the 'eadmaster of the school, by the way, and is called Dumbledore). Anyways, they shares sum sweets (which aren't very lush by the way coz they tastes of really 'orrible things sumtimes, like ear wax fer 'xample), and the clart with the white beard torks alittlebit cryptically to 'arry about this and that (mostly about nuffing much, to be 'onest, coz the dude with the white beard never really 'xplains fings properly, which I gorra say is a little bit annoying to be truthful).

Anywayz, 'arry ventually leaves the infurmurry and meets back up with his clart and clit, and they all joins the rest ov the school for the final feast ov the yer (I just ramembered that I forgot to tell you allabou the feasts - they has these bangin' feasts at the school  fer speshal accasions like, and the last meal ov the yer is usually one ov the times they does it). Anywayz, the feast is well lush as usual, and before we knowz it, eveyone is back on the train to go home fer the summer like. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you abou the trains too. Never mind, I'm sure you can get the gist anallat.

So that's where the book ends like, innit. I was well chuffed that I was given the first four books togevver, coz I'd have bin a bit ducked off if I couldn't have read any more right away. Course, I was well into the story and so I started the second book right away, but I'll leave that for anovver blog like, innit?

Youknowzitmakezsense.

*is repeating herself*

When I say I'm repeating myself, I'm half right and half wrong. I'm going to do exactly what I did yesterday (when I Taff-Told the story of the Lord of the Rings), only today I'm going to give you Pride & Prejudice in the style of a Taff. This is because one, I had a pester yesterday via Facebook messaging system that urged me to get back to my fanfic - Pride & Prejudice: Hogwarts Style - and this seemed the next best thing, and two, because I don't seem to be able to come up with any blogging ideas lately. So I therefore present you with....

Pride & Prejudice : Taffing Style

Many yers ago, Britain was not really like it is today on the outside, but if you looked carefully, like, you'd find that the clarts and clits ov 19th century Britain was no diffrent to the clarts and clits ov the Kair of Diff today. Basiclee, everyone wanted to be bangin each ovver, they just was a little bit more polite, like.

Take Lissabuff (no really, take her - she's beggin for it). Lissabuff is clit number two ov five, and she's like so frustrated - obviously - cos there's no decent clarts to be found anywhere in 'er nayberood. She goes to plenty of raves, like, but she's definitely not gerring any action. Her sisters are in the same boat, but nobody is really intrested in them, so we'll skip over 'em, right?

Anywayz, Lissabuff has gorra mad clit for a mum like, and her dad's abirrova nutter too. Not only that, but 'er parents sort of hate each ovver - well, that's what yer supposed to fink, like, but seeing as how they 'ad five doorters so close togevver, they obviously liked each ovver enough to bonk like bunnies earlier in their relayshunship, didn't they? Youknowzitmakezsense. *nods*

Back to Lissabuff, though. One day a new clart movez into the area and creates a birrovva buzz. Now, this is the bit where most people would have fort that the new clart would have bin destined for the main female characta, but don't be a ducking idiot, coz that's not what 'appens! The new clart ends up with Lissabuff's elder sister - I iz not gonna go inta that part ov the tale though coz to be 'onest itz not very intresting. No, the intresting bits are to do wiv Lissabuff and the new clart in the nayberood's best mucker - Mr. Darcee.

Mr. Darcee is a birrovva knob at first. I mean, he's all 'oity and toity and evryfink, so we can sorta see why Lissabuff - even though she's frustrated anallat - don't really take to 'im right away. But seeing as this is a romance novel, it's pretty obvious that they're gonna end up bangin at sum point, so I was never worried, ifyouknowzwhatImean.

Anywayz, they first meet propa like at a rave. Now, back in them days the clits couldn't wear what slags wear today, they 'ad to cover their legs and evryfink. What a ducking nightmare! But, they used their Taff cunning like and made sure that their dresses showed a birrov boobage, coz after all, evryone knowz that all clarts likes a birrov boobage, right?

Lissabuff had more boobage than most, so Mr. Darcee was obviously gonna be trapped fasta than a fly in a spider's web. *nods*

But although it's like way obvious that Darcee loves Lissabuff's boobs, he still acts like a knob and pretends he don't like 'er. It's a clart fing, mostly, you understand. Of course, Lissabuff would have been right ducked off that her boobage didn't entice Darcee to the nearest alley, so she takes offence, like, and decides that she don't like 'im neever. Once a knob, always a knob, innit?

They goez their seprut wayz for a bit, and some boring stuff 'appens wiv her older clit and the clart what's new to the nayberood. Her younger clits also 'aves a birrov scene time too, but they is also a bit boring, like, (apart from Lydia, who is obviously a true Kairdiff Slag who was born yers before her time) so we won't gerrinto too much detail.

Anywayz, ventually the clart what's new to the nayberood moves away coz Darcee tells 'im that Lissabuff's older sista is no good. So off they pop, and that's that. 'Cept Lissabuff also goes away to her newly married friend Charlotte (who actually married one of Lissabuff's sooters - one Mr. Collins, who was the biggest brickhead to ever roam the urf) and ends up meeting with Darcee again.

Now Darcee, who is still acting like a total tit, decides that he can't do wivout Lissabuff's boobage, so he asks her to marry 'im. Only, being a typical bloke, he completely ducks up the proposal like. I mean, he never menshuns Lissabuff's boobage at all, he just witters onabout stupid stuff like 'against 'is better judgement' and stuff. What a knobhead! *rolls eyes* Obviously Lissabuff refuses, speshally when she finds out that it was Darcee's fault that her older clit got her 'eart broken.

Anywayz, they goes their seprut ways again, and nuffink much 'appens for a while. Then Lissabuff goes travelling again (bluddy 'ell, she donalf travel alot, duntshe?) and ends up accidently meeting Darcee again. Now, if I use the movie and not the novel scene for this bit, it's much berra, coz in the movie Lissabuff bumps into Darcee when he is sowking wet after swimmin in his personal lake. Nuffin like a see threw shirt and tight breeches to make a slag change her mind abourra knob, like, innit?

So, wiv her mind now fixed on bangin Darcee, Lissabuff is well chuffed that it looks like Darcee still fancies her. But true to the romance genre, sumfing else 'appens and splits 'em up again. This time itz her younger clit, Lydia, who 'as been a total slag and eloped with the true knob of the story, Mr. Wickham (he waz anovver one of Lissabuff's sooters too, by the way). Bluddy 'ell, I bet that Lissabuff was well ducked off, and probably wished that she didn't have any clits at all!

Anywayz, ventually Darcee acts in a non-knoblike way and saves the day. He like totally forces the clart called Wickham to marry the dopey clit called Lydia, so nobodeez famlees are ruined. Lissabuff finds out allabourit - coz she's a nosy slag at 'eart - and decides that she definitely wants to bang Darcee, and will stop at nuffing to achieve her goal.

Mindful of her plan, as soon as she knowz Darcee is calling at her 'ouse (which she knowz coz her older clit is now affianced to the clart who was new-then-left-then-came-back-to-the-nayberood) she puts on her best boobage-showing dress and takes 'im for a walk.  Obviously, fings work out aroundabou here, mostly becoz it's the last few scenes ov the movie. Basiclee, Darcee and Lissabuff both witter away about stuff for a few minits, Darcee eyes Lissabuff's boobage whilst drooling allova 'is breeches, and Lissabuff gets all 'ot and bovvered coz she's thinking about when they can get to the bangin stage of the relayshunship.

They gets married, like, along wiv her older clit and the clart-who.... sod it, 'is name's Binlee.... and they rides off in carriages to live 'appily ever afta. Course, they 'as a good snoggin first, like, innit?

Youknowzitmakezsense!

*is re-telling LotR in Taff-speak*

A lon time ago like, there was this place called Middle Urf, and in this Middle Urf there was like, lots and lots ov bangin fings 'appening. Well, mostly they was only bangin if you was called Sow-Ron and 'ad a big freaky eye, but that's besides the point like, innit?

Anywayz, this dude Sow-Ron was a bit of a brick, ifyouknowzwhatImean, coz he, like, wanted to rule the whole ov Middle Urf. To be 'onest, I'm not shore how he planned to do this becoz, well, at the end of the day, he was only this great big freaky eye. I mean, he had, like, no body or nuffink! He did have a clart who spoke for him (he was called the Mouf ov Sow-Ron), but 'onestly, he wasn't anyfink speshal - and sorta fugly ifyouknowswhatImean.

Luckily, there was this wizard called Gandalf who, like, gottogevver a fellowship ov clarts and led them on a quest to save Middle Urf. These clarts were a bit strange like, though. I mean, there was this really hunky dude wiv a beard (all the women wanted to be his slag), another notsohunky dude wiv a beard, a ginger dworf, an elf bloke (who fort he was bangin, but was mostly mistaken), and four little clarts wiv 'airy feet.

If you fink this is weird so far, then fink again. Get this, like - apparently, to gerrid of the dude with the freaky eye, you 'ad to destroy his rin. The fing is, without his rin, Sow-Ron was pretty ducked, so the fellowship's plan was to melt the rin in the cracks of Mount Doom. Coz obviously there was no uvver way to destroy this rin like, or there wouldn't be this need for a quest, like, innit?

The fellowship ran into trouble all overthaplace;  first the wizard got his butt whipped by this balrog fing, and then the notsohunky dude got himself skewered by some orcs ('onestly, it was the best fing for 'im in my pinion). The rest ov the clarts got separated into free clart cliques after that, which I fink was mostly to stretch the story out so it could become a trilogy. Youknowzitmakezsense!

The first clique was a pair ov the clarts with 'airy feet - I fink this was mostly becoz alot of peeps couldn't tell 'em apart, so it was best to keep them togevver. The second group was the hunky dude wiv a beard, the ginger dworf, and the elfy bloke. The last group was a second pair of clarts wiv 'airy feet, only this pair contained the lame clart wiv the massiv eyes and the clart who liked powtatoes (and they was also carrying the rin, like).

Round about 'ere, anovver characta joins the story, and his name was Gollum, like. He was a little bit strange too like, coz he used to be one ov those clarts wiv the 'airy feet, but after spending alot of yers wiv Sow-Ron's rin, he gorra little bit ducked up in the 'ed, anallat. Anywayz, this Gollum turns up and joins the clarts who 'as the rin wiv them. Gollum wants the rin back, you see, so he don't want the clarts wiv the 'airy feet to chuck the rin into Mount Doom. To be 'onest, he's pretty ducked off wiv the clarts wiv the 'airy feet and is mostly there just to duck up their plans. Issallgood though coz it, like, adds to the story, dunnit?

Anywayz, the middle part of the story is just basiclee allabout the free separate groups goin their diffrent ways and doin all sorts of bangin hero-type fings on their way to the climax of the story. Ventually, like, they all ends up in this place called Gondor and they, like, 'as this big battle wiv lots of massiv elefants and fings. Ov course, the good side wins the battle (coz ovverwize the fans might have, like, gone ducking ape wiv the orfur what wrote the story), and the hunky dude wiv the beard - who, it turns out, is like the rightful kin ov Gondor, what a ducking coincidence! - leads his army to the Black Gate. Now, the Black Gate is like this massiv entrance to Sow-Ron's lair, and the hunky dude wiv the beard has plans to elp the clarts wiv the 'airy feet by givin them extra time so that they can frow the rin into Mount Doom. Youstillwivme?

The hunky dude wiv a beard faces the Mouf ov Sow-Ron and like, chops 'is 'ed off (which was a duckin awesum way to kill 'im in my pinion). Now, this sorta pisses Sow-Ron off like, coz now he aint gorra clart who can be 'is spokesperson. So the Black Gates open up and, like, millions of orcs start marching towards the army of the good side. At this point, I gerra little bit confoosed with the Braveheart movie, coz the hunky dude gives this big rousing speech which is alot like the speech that William Wallace says in Braveheart, and I always expect the good people of Middle Urf to like, lift their cloves and shake their doo-dahs at the fugly orcs. Sadly, they don't, which is a right ducking shame in my pinion.

Anywayz, round about yer, the lame clart wiv the rin 'as this fight wiv Gollum, and the clart who likes powtatoes manages to split 'em up. Gollum sorta disappears foralittlebit, and the two clarts make their way into Mount Doom, which is bangin coz their timin is like, perfect, coz the hunky dude 'as by now killed that Mouf ov Sow-Ron, but is strugglin wiv this Narzgul (which is kinda like a massiv bird, but way uglier and very ducking nasty, ifyouknowzwhatImean).

The lame clart wiv the rin stumbles to the end ov a path and looks at the fires of Mount Doom, all ready to, like, frow the rin into it. It's, like, WAY dramatic, like, innit! But then Gollum comes back and starts doin this strange dancy-fight fing wiv the lame clart, and ends up bitin his finger off. Obviously the lame clart is a bit ducked off by this turn ov events, like, so he does like this ballet dancing fing and tackles Gollum so he can get the rin back. Duh, duh DUHHHH!

Anywayz, in the middle of fightin, Gollum - who still 'as the rin - sorta slips off the path and starts to fall into the fire, and the lame clart goes over the edge too. At this point, the ovver clart comes back into the scene and manages to pull the lame clart to safety, but only after havin a 'moment', ifyouknowzwhatImean. I fink these two particular clarts was a couple, to be 'onest, but maybe that's just me. *shrugs*

And that's where the story ends, basiclee. I mean, Iknowz I sorta missed alot of stuff out, like, including the elf slags and the torking trees and stuff, but 'onestly, it's not like I 'ad all day to write this yer blog, and to be 'onest, there's only so much you can type in Taff speak before it gets alittlebit, well, alot really, ov a ducking nightmare. So at the end of the day (or story, if you like, like), the rin gets melted down, and apart from those charatas that were killed anallat, they mostly lives 'appily ever afta. Youknowzitmakezsense!

Long live the Fellowship ov the Clarts, thats what I reckon.... issallgood, innit?

I iz Taffin' again....

Whassup, peeps? I is 'aving a bangin' day today! First ov all, itz bluddy BOILing yer in the Kair of Diff, itz unfriggin'believable how 'ot itz got in the last two dayz like, innit? I mean, it was bluddy rain, rain, and MORE rain a coupla dayz ago, but now itz like, I dunno, a bluddy foreign country or sumfink.

At the moment I iz sat on the sowfa and typing this yer blog like, with sum moozic blastin' in the background. Me doorter is bopping around like the Mini Disco Diva that she iz, and I iz tappin' me foot along to Lady Gaga. Issallgood, innt?

P-P-P-Poker face, p-p-poker face....

Anywayz, while Lady Gaga (digitally) warbles in me lugholes, I thought I'd squeeze a blog in. I've bin busy all day today, spending lotsa time and 'avin' lotsa fun wiv me very amoozing pussy. Now, if you've bin paying attenshun - and I 'ope you 'ave -  you'll know that me amoozing pussy is not anyfink rood like, itz just me furry little friend. *reads last sentence* That's still a bit innuendo-y, ain't it? What I ment is me pussy is me furry little literary friend, cos my pussy is called Muse and she is like a characta in me novel. 'onestly, you is all filfy-minded peeps, ain't ya?

Anyways, coz I 'ave to add, like, anuvver ten fousand words to me novel if I wants to submit it fer publishin', I needs to like add quite a bit to it. There's a coupla new charactas to squeeze in, and some scenes need a bit of lengthenin' like, but a good free fousand words is gunna come from the prologue. And this is where I've bin having fun wiv me pussy. See, Muse is a fairy godmother, and she's like a recurrin' characta. Okay, she's not a recurrin' characta as of yet, coz me novel is the only book she's in like, but me novel is book one of a planned series, so eventually she'll be a recurrin' characta, see? *nods*

So, today I've bin puttin' me pussy threw her paces. She's been reminiscin' on her previous cases, see, and itz in order to flesh out her characta. You see, there's nothin' better than a fleshed out pussy.

And that's anuvver fing; today's bin bangin' becoz I've bin innuendo-in' all day long, coz innuendo is like the best fing since sliced bred, innit? You could be 'aving the worst day evah, but as long as you get a bit of innuendo in, everyfing just seems a little bit betta, don't it? Youknowzitmakezsense!

In ovver Itz Bin A Bangin' Day So Far news, I'm chuffed to beans becoz me networkin' is definitely paying off. I've now got almost two hundred more Facebook friendz than I 'ad three weeks ago - thatz like, more than double what I 'ad before! Sweet! And everyone is like, so nice! I 'ave to admit, this adding and accepting new friends fingy is so addictive, itz like, I dunno, choclut or sumfink. I loves it, I do, I loves it!

Lastly, there is one more reason I is 'aving a bangin' day, and that's BuNoWriMo. Now, I know that reading 'BuNoWriMo' might make you fink "what the 'ell is that?", and 'onestly, I wouldn't blame you becoz, well, unless you is psychic, you won't have a bluddy clue what I is talkin' about. See, BuNoWriMo is basically NaNoWriMo, only wivout the 'Na' bit at the start (and wiv 'Bu' there instead). Now, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month, which is like a worldwide fing that 'appens in November, and 'as peeps from all ovah the planet attemptin' to write a 50,000 word novel in firty dayz. Itz bluddy manic, I can tell you, but lotsa fun too. The only reason I had a pussy to play with today is because of NaNoWriMo, so I loves it, I do, I loves it.

Anywayz, my writers group is doin' itz own version of NaNoWriMo, and coz we is called The Burrow, we like altered the name like, innit? We iz gonna attempt a 50,000 word novel in June. Now, this is where me recurrin' pussy comes into play, coz I is gonna write the sequel to my original NaNo novel for BuNoWriMo, and the provisional title is gunna be Beauty has the Beast (nuffink like an innuendo-y type title, is there?), and will once again be set in me home town, the Kair of Diff (that's 'Cardiff' to anyone who ain't familiar wiv Taff speak). I like, can't wait to get crackin' on it, so I iz like totally buzzin'!

If anyone would like to participate in BuNoWriMo, I'll be like posting details and stuff when I knowz more, and we will like advertise and stuff on our Burrow Facebook page. It's gunna be crazy, but fun, and the more peeps who take part, the betta!

I'll keep you posted on BuNoWriMo, but in the meantime I needz to go back and have sum more fun wiv me furry little friend, so I'll catch you all later! Byez fer now!

Oh! Wot's occurring?

Oi oi! Tara yer! So I know itz bin like, months since I blogged like, but to be 'onest itz been a funny ol yer so far like, innit? Anyways, I fort I berra try and ger somefink posted like, ovverwize I'm never ever goin to get back on the blogwagon, like innit?

Not much 'as bin 'appenin in the last few months to be 'onest, but that don't mean I can't blog like, do it? I mean, nothing much was 'appening when I first started bloggin last yer, but I still did it, like, didn't I?

Of course, when I started this bloggy fing last October it sorta took a while to ger settled like, but I soon found me feet and by the end ov the first month I was well and truly gettin stuck in. I was really enjoyin meself like, you knoworrimean? Then November came and I was like, ohmigod! I'm bloggin AND NaNoin' this month - duckin 'ell! I 'onestly fort I was screwed - I mean, bluddy 'ell, I'm a duckin nightmare when it comes to writin stuff and stayin on track like, how the 'ell was I goin to keep up wiv bloggin evry day AND write 50,000 words at the same time???

Anyways, me being me, like, I cheated for one ov the weeks and did requests. I asked evryone to leave suggestions for blog topics and I promised to use the first suggestion ov the day for the next day's blog like, innit? It worked a treat, actually, and it was sorta cool becoz I didn't have to worry abou thinkin ov fings to blog about.

Anyways, that's when I first did me Taffing - during the requests week - and I 'ad such a larf doin Taff for you all that I fort I'd do my blog in Taff speak today, like, innit? To be 'onest, I luvs doin the Taffing fing on yer coz ... well.... I dunno why I likes it really, I just do. It's like, I dunno, strange really I suppose, but at the end ov the day I just fink it's lush to blog in Taff speak. Youknowzitmakezsense like, innit?

Of course, I'm like runnin true to form today coz this blog is not really a propa blog, itz just me ramblin as per normal, but hey, I'm not bovvered to be 'onest. I mean, a Taffy ramble is berra than a blank blog any day I say, wouldn't you agree? Then again, maybe I is just deludin meself. Eiver way, I'm not worried coz at the end ov the day, a blog's a blog, like, innit? Issallgood.

I suppose I decided to blog today becoz I is feelin on top ov the world at the moment. For peeps like me who struggles somefink chronic wiv their weight, you will understand why I is like duckin chuffed to beanz at the moment. I have bin trying to lose some major poundage lately like, innit. Anyways, I av now lost 34lbs - which is like, awesome in itself like, but itz not wot made me feel all fizzy. I was sorting threw me cloves earlier like, coz I was lookin for somefink to wear to a family chrissnin on the weekend. I was well ducked off coz the dress I wanted to wear like was too bluddy big. I mean, yeah, it was well wicked that it was too big becoz that means that my weight loss is coming off in inches aswellas poundage, but it meant that I had duck all to wear this Sunday. Wottta nightmare!!

Anyways, I finally found somefink to wear  (a little black skirt - in true Kairdiff Slag fashion - a nice red blouse, and knee high boots - bangin!), but I also realised that I ad to gerrid ov nearly all ov my jeans. Wicked! I've like, dropped TWO sizes! How duckin awesome is that! I is well chuffed like, innit?

Anyways, I'm gonna wrap it up about yer I fink. I mean, there wasn't really a solid subject today, but bin as it's me like, there's nofink new there like, innit? Itz bin quite funny typin this, so I 'ope it amuzes a few of you peeps when you reads it like. If not, then it don't marrer like, coz at the end ov the day, nobody's making you read anyfink you don't want to, so itzuptoyou to be 'onest annallat, innit? Youknowzitmakezsense.

Catch you later, clarts and clits!

(Oh - and much as I wish that the piccie I used was ov me, itz not. But although it aint me like, that IS wot my old jeans look like on me, so I fort it'd do the job nicely like, innit? Sorted.)

Thank God for the Weekend!!

Lordy! Lordy lordy lordy! What a week I've had! My aim since I started this blog has always been to blog each and every day. Last month, the NaNoWriMo madness threatened my plans, but I managed to blog almost every day, with only one day falling into the abyss. Great! Wonderful! If I can write a 50,000 word novel and continue to blog at the same time, normal months should be a piece of piss (as we Taffies like to say), right?

Wrong!!!

Let me recap on my week.

Monday

After said NaNo madness was finished (a day early too, did I mention that?), you can probably imagine the state of my house.  Consequently I spent a large portion of my day scrubbing, vacuuming, polishing, and washing laundry. On the plus side, I did manage to blog (even if it was only an excuse to post droolworthy pictures of the lovely, lovely Jensen Ackles). *shifty*

Tuesday

My mother could be called in at any time now for surgery, and as she helps out for a few old ladies, I promised I'd take over while she was in hospital and recuperating. The whole day was spent (once again) scrubbing, vacuuming, polishing and washing laundry. I just made it back in time to pick my daughter up from school, and then I had to stay for the Christmas fete (which was far too early in the month in my opinion). On the plus side, I managed to squeeze in a blog, and I am now also the proud owner of Christmas tree baubles made by my daughter (one of which has a picture of her inside). Nice!

Wednesday

This is where I dipped. Nightmare of a day, Wednesday. I spent all flipping morning at my bank trying to sort out the gigantic mess caused by a faulty cash machine which not only ate my card for no good reason, but insisted on saying that I had received the £200 that I had requested, when in fact I'd received sweet F.A. After several hours of stress, I was informed that I could have a temporary overdraft to cover my needs, as the missing £200 would take around three weeks to go back into my account. *mutters darkly* Of course, I now have to wait for the new card  (which arrived this morning) to become active, which is imperative as I still have a wad of pressies to order online before next Wednesday if I am to have any hope of them arriving in time for Christmas.

On the plus side, I had some nice news from my home site, HPANA. Voting was scarce this year, but regardless of the poor turn out, I was very pleased to discover that I won the Best Short Story of 2009, with my Pages from the Past  fanfic. Yay! A little cheer was nice, but the stress over the card situation sort of stole some of the joy. I was definitely in no mood to ramble, as I had no wish to unleash several paragraphs of venting on my poor, unsuspecting readers.

Thursday

It was quite a nice day, actually. I had two lovely emails from Burrowing buddies Tami and Leanne (and also from another online buddy, Kim), offering critique on my NaNo novel, along with some very encouraging words. *feels all warm and fuzzy*. My sister was visiting for the day, and my step-daughter also came to say hello (and stayed long enough to be Ellied by my daughter for several hours *lights candle for Amy*). My house is tiny, therefore we were jam-packed. By the time the kids were in bed and the visitors had left, it was late. Then hubby watched a film, which meant that by the time I got to the PC, it was way past 11pm and I was flagging. Hence, no blog for the second day in a row Erk.

                                                                   
                                                                       Today

Today I scrubbed, vacuumed, polished and washed laundry again. Only this time I was working very, very fast, and finding all sorts of extra jobs to do too. Why? Because on what was probably the coldest day of the year so far, my fire conked out. Yellow flames, soot residue, possible carbon monoxide etc, etc. I was running around like an idiot in an effort to keep warm. My house is so cold that I can safely say that I would have been warmer if I had stood in the street. Seriously. *shivers* Thankfully, the man from Swalec came and sorted everything out for me, and I now have heat (as well as expert knowledge on his cat, who is just recovering from a thyroid problem apparently).

Anywho, that's been my week. Many ups and downs, with little to no time on the computer. I'm just thankful that this didn't happen last week, or my NaNo would never have been completed. At least, that's what I'm telling myself; you have to find a silver lining somewhere, don't you?

P.S If you have a spare moment, please check out The Burrow. Our 2009 Advent Calender is now live! And it is fabulous, even if I say so myself. *nods*

*is teaching Taffisms*

Oi oi butts! Taffy Tara yer again, like, innit? I've tried to put it off, like, but iznogood. Evah since I blogged about Taffs the ovver week like, I've bin wanting to do anovver one. It's a bluddy nightmare, like, remembering to type Taffish, but itz well funny, so its worf the effort, like, innit?

I fort I'd try and teach me readers a little birrabou Taffisms, coz I only covvahed a tiny bit last time. Fer instance, like, I bluddy forgot allabou 'anallat'. A new reader pointed tha one out fer me, and she was well right, like, innit? I mean, I says it all the time I do. That's anovver one right there - I do.
We says 'I do' at the end of sentences like, don't we? I loves pizza I do. I likes choclut I do. Altogevver like. And we adds the eses at the ends of words like, too, innit.

And I forgot the sheep. That's a ducking crime and 'alf that is, coz even though we don't really like it, we Taffies are usually associated wif sheep. 'Sheep-shaggers', the rest of Britain calls us. Bluddy sheep-shaggers! It's sorta insultin like, to be honest, but we is stuck wif it now.

Anovver fing we always says like is 'then'. But we don't say it like you do, like, we says it at the end of sentences like, innit? Like, if we is phoning our clarts like, we don't say 'where are you?', we says 'where you to then?"  Izallgood.

Now, anovver fing I forgot the last time, was to explain abou clits, like. The fing is, we Kairdiff slags needed a word for each ovver. The boys were good, like, coz they called each ovver 'butt' or 'clart', but we girls were like, 'ang on, butt, we only got 'slags'! We wants anovver name, like, innit? So we fort, worrabou 'clit'? I mean, it's just as good as any ovver name like, innit? So all couples 'ave a clart and a clit. Youknowzitmakezsense (that's anovver word wif like lots of words togevver, like, an its one ov our faves too. Bangin', ain-it?).

Before I forgets again, like, there's one more Taffism I needs to tork to you abou. Now innaminute. That's righ, thats wot we says like. If me doorter says 'Mum, can I 'ave a packet of crips?' (cos we don't say 'crisps', we says 'crips'). I'll say 'You can 'ave some now innaminute'. Or if the clart asks me 'when is fooood gunna be ready?',  I'll say 'It'llbeready now innaminute'.  It's bluddy strange, I know, but that's just wot we does like, innit?

So that's a bit more abou Taffisms, but theres's like lots of ovver stuff to tork abou. The biggest fing I wanted to tell you was that you gorra wotch Taff Wars. Taff Wars is bangin, ducking awesome, like. They has a propa website like, too, but if you is lazy, like, you can search for them on Yootoob. They got lotsov epasodes on there, like, and they're like fullov swearin and rood words like, innit? Bluddy funny, they are, well wicked like, innit.

Lastly, I fort I'd share a few jokes, like. Just to give you an idea of what we Taffies are like, coz I'm tellin you now, butt, they is spot on, like, innit.

Wot do you call a Taff slag who wearz a white tracksuit?
A bride.

Wots the first question ov Quiz Night in yer local vallee pub?
Wot you looking at, butt?

Wot do you call a 30 yer old vallee girl?
Nan.

Wot's the most confoosing day ov the yer for Taffies?
Favver's Day.

And on that note, like, I fink itz best to leave it, like innit. Youknozitmakezsense, anallat.

Later clarts and clits!

*is Taffing about deep fine legs*

Oi Oi clarts! Tara yer, about to start today's blog like. Me old mucker, Natasha, suggested I blog about deep fine legs like, while me butt Tami wanted Taffies, so I fort I'd do em both like, innit?

Now, I'm from Kairdiff like, born and bred, but Kairdiff is like only a little way away from the valleys, so we sorta speak a little bit like they do. Taff speak is bangin, coz we like drop our aitches and stuff. We also really like to swear like, innit, coz swearing is bangin. Actually, bangin is bangin too, if you know what I mean, coz we Taffies like a good bonk when we can gerrit like, innit?

Anyway, yer in Kairdiff, most of the girls are slags. Not that I'm meaning to be nasty like, but they just is. Nights on the razzle in Kairdiff town centre are full of slags like, innit, with skirts up their arses and tops down to their nipples. Maybe they aren't slags at all, but most of the fellas round yer seem to fink so. Specially the bimbettes with their deep fine legs constantly angled at quarter past nine, like. Dirty little trollops they are, but we loves it, we do, we loves it.

I used to be a Kairdiff slag too. My skirts used be called belts like, and my uvver alf always said to me that it was me legs that caught his attention in the first place. Actually, I should probably explain, like, that a Kairdiff slag is not like a normal slag, coz normal slags are, well, slags like, innit?  Kairdiff slags just like to wear skimpy clothes like, and aren't propa slags at all.

Over yer, we call our mates 'butt' and 'clart'. And we don't say 'how are you today?', we say, 'wots appening, butt?' We don't say things propa either, coz we roll like three words into one like, and say stuff like wo'youdoin', or backinaminni. We're not able to say our gees like, either. Like, if you wanted to say 'How's it hanging', we would say 'howzithangin'.  I think we're propa lazy like, to be honest, but we don't know better, so s'not our fault like, innit?

Now we cum to the swearin bit. We just love to swear, we do. I'd berra not type what we'd say like, coz the little ankle-biters might read it, but if I use a birrof Taff cunnin like, I can use words that rhyme like, innit? We say duck all the time, like. It's 'duck off' yer and 'duck off' there, and 'for duckssake like, just duck off' everywhere. We just like to say duck (we also like to duck, but that's like anuvver blog, like, innit?). We also say the really orrible words too, like tunt. I don't really like that word, like, but it's like a favorite rood word like for all of the clarts out there.

Anuvver word we says a lot is bluddy. Bluddy this, bluddy that, bluddy everything. And pants too, coz we likes saying pants like, innit? Sometimes it can be a bit confoosing like, specially when we're really pissed off like, coz we end up saying stuff like 'bluddy duck off, you ducking tunt, coz yer doin my duckin hedin', but mostly we is OK coz we all understands each ovver like, innit?

Going back to legs (coz my mucker Natasha might fink I is cheating like), I fort I'd finish this yer blog by rambling a little birrabou legs. I got quite long legs, like, innit, so it's a ducking nightmare when I wants to buy some jeans or somefink. They either too ducking long, or too ducking short, there's no bluddy middle ground. It doezmyhedin!

You might fink that Kairdiff is fullov common clarts like, but although we speaks common like, we're a nice bunch really, like, innit. I love Kairdiff  I do, it's bangin. Sure, there's a few mingers dotted about the place like, but that's the same as anywhere else like, innit? You gorra take the ruff wiv the smoove.

I gorra go now, coz I just cooked a bangin pizza and I'm gunna share it wiv me doorter, coz she loves pizza like. Me son's a birovva nutter though, coz he don't like pizza, so I gorra make him somefink else. Ah well, issallgood, innit?

Later, clarts!

P.S. I was gunna do the spellcheckin fing like I normally do, like, but then I fort what's the bluddy point? It's gunna pick up everyduckingfing, innit?