Catz & Cozies

So much for my once a week posting, huh? *snort* But you know, life gets in the way (as it is wont to do), and the intention is still firmly in place to post as often as I can, and when I have news to share.

SO!

Today, I do have some news to share, albeit a friend's news rather than my own. This friend is Tami, otherwise known as Hart Johnson, Alyse Carlson, or The Watery Tart. I have been friends with Tami since 2005, where we 'met' at an online Harry Potter fan site and became mutual fans of each others fan fictions. We both started our writing careers writing tales with Rowling's wonderful characters, and honed our plotting skills playing with alternative back stories, histories, and theories of the world of Harry Potter.

Tami has recently had her third cozy mystery traditionally published under the pen name of Alyse Carlson, and she is also currently self-publishing a conspiracy series under her Hart Johnson pseudonym. To me, she will always be Tami, though, and the Tami I know shines through in all of her stories. She's fun, fabulous, and feisty - my very favourite type of person!

I'm going to hand the page over to Tami now, who has written a little something to celebrate her third traditionally published novel.

What is it with Cats and Cozies?

Otherwise known as the pussy puzzle...

See, this is how I see it... Cats are cuddly and cozy, and as mysteries go, cozies are cuddly and cozy... they both go very well with a nice cuppa, a comfy chair, and if the time of year calls for it, a crackling fire.

But there is also the lesser known ability of cats to solve mysteries. I bet you didn't know about that. It's because cats are crafty. They lurk and watch and see stuff, and then they have minions under their control!  No, really. If you ever need a spy, no better companion than a cat!

Case in point... Ever try hiding?

If you have a cat, you know this is impossible. They will find you wherever you are and expose you.

But think how handy this is if you are the SEEKER!  That cat will expose the person you are seeking quickly!

A cat's sometimes needed to solve

When the messiest mysteries involve

boxes or strings

or small mouses and things

Those clues that will try our resolve!

No?

I once knew a pussy detective

Who found killers with speed irrespective

Of status or looks

Or their knowledge from books

It gave us a whole new perspective

Erm... am I losing you here? Should I get to the point? (Was I supposed to have a point?)  Pretty sure my orders were to digress...

Available at Amazon and other retailers

So the Garden Society Mysteries have cats on a couple of covers, and more importantly there is a vagabond stray who has a cameo in a few of them. Davey Jones is a tough, but lovable stray who lives by Cam and Annie, and who they feed and talk to from time to time. It probably would be wise to have him solve the murder in the next book of the series, don't you think?

Keeping Mum:  Roanoke, Virginia, is home to some of the country’s most exquisite gardens, and it’s Camellia Harris’s job to promote them. But when a political fundraiser turns deadly, everyone’s a candidate for murder…

Cam and her best friend, Annie, are planning a gala for a local Senate candidate—a murder mystery themed silent auction where the guests bid on who will be the night’s “victim.” Coordinating a beautiful display of fall flowers and planning the perfect fake crime is hard enough, but with a guest list that is a “who’s who” of the Roanoke elite, Cam has her hands full navigating the egos and grudges of her high society guests.

When local financial tycoon Derrick Windermere is found dead next to a shattered pot of chrysanthemums, the night’s fun and games quickly turn serious. Half the guests had good reason to want Windermere dead, but only one is suspiciously missing in action—Annie’s father. Now Cam will not only have to figure out which partygoer is a killer, but find her friend’s father before all their reputations end up dragged through the mud…(from goodreads.com and back cover of book)

Alyse Carlson (aka, Hart Johnson) writes books from her bathtub. A social scientist by day, Hart spends her evenings plotting grand conspiracies and murdering people on paper. You can learn more about her at her blog: waterytart23.blogspot.com

Thanks, Tami! I'll be adding your book to my bookshelf to match your other two. I LOVE have famous friends. *grins*

Pimping my Pal & Begonia Bribing

The Pimping...

I talk to a LOT of people in the online community. A LOT. I've been active online for around nine years now, give or take, and I'm far more outgoing online than I am in real life. Online, I can let loose the crazy person inside and have virtually no fear of being given the raised Eyebrows of Doom. Well, I probably still get the Eyebrows of Doom, but because I don't see it, it doesn't matter.

My first online home was HPANA (The Harry Potter Automatic News Aggregator), which sadly shut down a while back so I can't provide a link. I was deeply engrossed in the Potter fandom and picked HPANA as my online outlet - and it literally changed my life. I started writing shortly after joining the site, and I can honestly say that without HPANA, I wouldn't currently be biting my nails about whether my debut novel is selling or not.

But I digress (something I do an awful lot, but embrace because one of my earliest online friends advocates digression as a religion).

Anyway, what got me actually writing was plucking up the courage to join the fanfic community on HPANA. I stumbled into the Fan Fun forum one day, and I was happy to find lots of lovely Harry Potter stories that I could lose myself in while I waited for book six to arrive. I started my own writing with a pretty mediocre fanfic called 'The Wedding', which was a novella length story about Ron and Hermione's big day. I'll be honest, it was crap. And I do mean crap. But people seemed to like it, and when I started the sequel (Harry, Ginevra, and the Rocky Road of Romance - yeah, that really was the title *snort*) I had a pretty strong fan base. In fact, I would say that 'Rocky Road' is a good comparison to my current novel, as the wacky and crazy tone is a pretty close match.

The Watery Tart

Anyway, as well as the crazies, I also attempted a couple of more serious stories. One of them, 'Lily's Choice', was the first, and it was a fanfic based on my theory of Harry's mother, the deceased Lily Potter. This was the story that brought me more interest, and one of my biggest supporters was Tami. From day one, she was just fabulous, and when she started posting her first fanfic, 'The Other Prince'(the sublime story of Snape's mother, Eileen Prince), well I of course had to read right away and offer my support in return.

Let me tell you, 'The Other Prince' was more than sublime, it was brilliant. And it was very obvious that Tami was a gifted writer, who would one day end up being published. And not only did we support each other's stories, we also became friends. Real friends. Tami just has zany humour, and we really clicked because I am the same way.

When Tami started posting her second fanfic, 'The Best Laid Plans (Sometimes Go Awry)', I was on board right way, and it was just as fantastic as her first story, though the tone was very similar in many ways to my 'Rocky Road' story. We both told a serious story, but we both infused our work with crazy scenes.

By now, we were big mutual fans, and it was the start of a real friendship. When HPANA shut down, we were sad, but we still contacted each other. We had Facebook. We had our writer's group (made up entirely of HPANA members, by the way). And we actually met in real life a few years ago, too, which is pretty amazing seeing as Tami is from Ann Arbor, Michigan, and I am from little old Cardiff, in Wales (our writer's group met up in Cardiff several years ago when the opportunity arose to showcase some of our drabbles [100 word pieces of fiction] at a Cardiff art gallery).

Anyway, ANYWAY... basically, we mind melded virtually from the start. We just share the same humour, and sometimes even share the same thought, wacky though that sounds. There are only a handful of people I can say that about, and these are the people that I call my best friends. I have a few of these people in the real world, which is awesome, but for me to have that in the online world, too... well it's nuts. I don't know where I'd be without my HPANA buddies. The website may have gone, but the friendships have remained.

The Bribing...

Well it's not really a bribe, but the fabulous Tami (aka Alyse Carlson) has a book baby birthday today!! Her second cozy, 'The Begonia Bribe', has just hit the shelves!! *throws confetti* I'm so thrilled that Tami took her writing to the next level, and so proud of my mind melding friend. Her first cozy was a BEST SELLER!! And I'm pretty sure that the follow up will rocket too. *nods* Here's the deets, and HUGE CONGRATS to my friend, the awesomest Watery Tart in the world! *glomps Tami*


The Blurb:

Roanoke, Virginia, is home to some of the country’s most exquisite gardens, and it’s Camellia Harris’s job to promote them. But when a pint-sized beauty contest comes to town, someone decides to deliver a final judgment …

A beauty pageant for little girls—the Little Miss Begonia Pageant—has decided to hold their event in a Roanoke park. Camellia is called in to help deal with the botanical details, the cute contestants, and their catty mothers. She soon realizes that the drama onstage is nothing compared to the judges row. There’s jealousy, betrayal, and a love triangle involving local newsman—and known lothario—Telly Stevens. And a mysterious saboteur is trying to stop the pageant from happening at all.

But the drama turns deadly when Stevens is found dead, poisoned by some sort of plant. With a full flowerbed of potential suspects, Cam needs to dig through the evidence to uproot a killer with a deadly green thumb.

by Alyse Carlson

Available at Amazon, and pretty much anywhere that sells books. So, you know, go buy it. *smiles winsomely*

Deflated Princess

You all know that scene from the Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban movie, right? You know, when Professor Lupin jumps in front of Harry to face the Boggart, and said Boggart turns into the moon? Well, remember how the moon became a balloon, and deflated and whizzed round the room? (Ha! That last sentence is almost poetic!) Anyway, that's how I feel at the moment...

Original image

Sheesh!! What a month April was!! I am seriously proud of myself that I managed to complete the A-Z posting challenge on TWO blogs, especially when you consider that I failed right at the end last year when I was just doing ONE blog. I wrote limericks over at my other blog, and scheduled most of them in advance a few at a time, and on THIS blog, I scheduled them the night before they were due. Still, that's a heck of a lot of typing, and having various windows open to add the numerous links that were needed for each post. I'm all linked out. *snort*

Major thanks to my 'CR Sisters' - my fellow authors at Crimson Romance - who stepped up and offered their fabulous books to be promoted by little old me. And HUGE thanks to Tami, who gave me the idea to book blurb to begin with. For someone who dithers no end when it comes to blogging, having a theme was essential, or I would never have managed to do it.

*coughsAvailableAtAmazoncoughs*

Of course, I'm also feeling all 'whooshy' like a deflated balloon for another reason. My debut rom-com released on Monday, and April was NUTSO, what with preparing various interview and guest spots on different blogs, and actively seeking reviews for my book baby. I knew I'd be busy with everything. but it still came as a shock just how busy I'd be. And it's only just beginning! Promotion NEVER ends, and is particularly important when you are a debut author.

I'll have no real idea how it all pans out until I get my first royalty statement from my publisher in September, so until then I'll be crossing my fingers that my book baby gets noticed! In the meantime, THANK YOU so much to those of you who have bought it, or shared a fabulous review of it! Any and all encouragement is fantastic, and gives me the nudge to continue with my writing!

My Auntie Is Giddy

As in oh my giddy auntie. As in oh my daisies. As in oops. As in *shifty*. As in any and all polite ways of saying the word that rhymes with 'duck'.

My bad. My very bad. My so bad that there should be a personalised definition of the phrase especially for me. It's been two months since I last blogged (I feel like I should have gone to confession to say that, even though I'm not a churchy person). Hmmph.

I'm in the throes of a deep bout of procrastination. Not only have I not blogged, but I haven't done much of anything else either. Except work, try to keep up with the housework (the keyword being 'try' there, because I'm pretty sure the housework is stomping way ahead of me in that particular race), and doing my best to not let the Shingles Beast get the better of me.

Technically I recovered from shingles about six weeks ago, but in reality I'm still feeling the effects of it. To say it knocked me for six would be an understatement. I'm one of the lucky ones; the pain 'only' lasted about a month. I can honestly say that I've never had pain that bad, and that includes childbirth, because childbirth never reduced me to tears (well, it did on my daughter, but that wasn't because of the actual pain, more because I was stressed). The nerve pain that I had with shingles was excruciating. But while that was bad enough, it's the lingering tiredness that I can't quite shake off that is debilitating. I find that I can't do as much as I used to do without feeling exhausted.

None of us are getting any younger, and sure, I can't do what I could do ten years ago, but I find that I haven't got the stamina to do what I was doing ten weeks ago. It's really odd how something as simple as the chicken pox virus can really send you body out of whack.

Anyway, moving on...

I'm gutted I failed the April A-Z. To make it worse, I only failed by three days. I manged to limmerick my way from A-W, then I ran out of steam. So close! Arghh!! I'm pretty sure this embarrassing failure has compounded to my avoidance of my poor, wee blog. In fact, my Writing Mojo is not only blushing, but refusing to have anything to do with me.

And it's not only my Writing Mojo who is shunning me either. My Editing Mojo has a distinct look of disdain on his face, while my Manuscript Read Through Mojo keeps looking at me as if I'd just crawled out from under a particularly nasty rock. Honestly, I'm surpised I'm still alive after all the Daggers of Doom glares that have come my way.

But it's not all bad! No! Indeed, there's been some good stuff in the last two months! While I am mortally ashamed of myself for not finishing a read through of a friend's manuscript, I did recieve her debut book through the post last week (which, by the way, was one of the only original manuscripts that I have ever managed to fulfil my read through promise with, even if I was late with it *shifty*). My good friend The Watery Tart (aka Tami Hart, aka Hart Johnson, aka Alyse Carlson), was officially a published author earlier this month. Yay! *sends subliminal 'go buy it' thoughts to the world at large*

It's very cool to own a book that was written by a friend. *nods* I haven't read it yet (well I have, in it's original form, but not in this form), but I did open the book and have a *squee* moment when I discovered that not only is it cool to have a published author for a friend, but it's also cool to recognise other friends in the acknowledgments. *squees again*

My friend on my bookshelf.  So to speak.

I also discovered a new obsession in the last two months. I finally got around to reading some books by an author who was recommended to me ages ago. Now, I'm a Book Slut and will read almost anything, but every now and again a series will come along that really grabs at me. This doesn't happen very often - I can name the  Harry Potter series, the Lord of the Rings series, and Salvatore's Dark Elf books as the only examples - but now I have another series to add to my elite list. Robin Hobbs books, specifically her books telling the story of FitzChivalry Farseer and his friends. Loved, loved, LOVED these books. Loved them so much, in fact, that my FanFic Mojo is currently emerging from exile, rubbing his hands together and seriously thinking of flexing his writing muscles.

Some new friends.

In other news, my newest additions to the family (two bearded dragons going by the names of Pinky and Perky), have been busy beardies indeed. Pinky has so far laid 50 eggs in the last two months - 21 in the first clutch, 29 in the second), and judging by her frantic digging, and overall scatty behaviour of the last couple of days, there's a third clutch on the way. So far none of the eggs have been viable, but it's still cool to say that I have dragon eggs in my house (that'll be the geek in me).

Lastly, there has also been two birthdays in the Smith household this month. The Hubby was [undisclosed age due to self-preservation] on June 11th, while my eldest child turned sixteen yesterday. If ever there was a reason to feel old, it's when your children are closer to the age of twenty than you are.


Oh my giddie auntie indeed.

All images self-taken.

Auror Application

Name: Ronald Bilius Weasley


Born: March 1 1980

Education: Home-schooled until aged 11, Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from aged 11-16.

Formal Qualifications: A handful of O.W.L.s.

Further Education: Dropped out of school to participate in the war against Lord Voldemort.


Hobbies: Eating; being a sidekick; pulling silly faces; providing comic relief; being the underdog; excelling at having the emotional sensitivity of a teaspoon.

How did you hear about this job? I didn't. Blimey, everyone wants to be an Auror, though, don't they? Cool.


What qualities would you bring to this position? Well, I dunno really. I guess I'm good for back up. Yeah, I'm definitely good for that. And I work well in a team; especially if it's a trio, and even better if it's Harry and Hermione. Hermione's my girlfriend, you know. It only took me seven years to ask her out, but I'm a persistent bloke, me. I suppose that's a good quality isn't it, persistence? I'm stubborn too, which is probably a good thing to be when you're chasing after dark wizards. Never give up, that's my motto. Unless there's giant spiders involved, then I would run for my life. But honestly, who wouldn't? Except maybe Hagrid, but he's half giant so he don't count.


Skills: I'm an excellent chess player. And, um, I'm, well, an excellent chess player really...


Character strengths: I'm really, really loyal. Except when I get in a stinking mood, or I'm jealous or something, but mostly I'm just loyal. And persistent, yeah, that's me. Did I tell you it took me seven years to ask my girlfriend out? And I'm fair-minded, except when I'm jealous, or in a filthy mood.


Character weaknesses: I suppose I can be a bit moody, but hey, nobodys perfect.


What experience, if any, do you have with fighting dark wizards? Well I helped Harry back in the first year at school. I didn't really fight as such, but I played a wicked game of chess. And in year two I was right there with Harry when we went to rescue my sister; it wasn't my fault that the Chamber of Secrets collapsed, was it? Just like it wasn't my fault in year three when we had to save Sirius Black. I mean, I would have helped, but with a broken leg and all, well, it was difficult. Year four was a bit quiet for me, and yeah, I was a bit of a git with Harry for a while, but I helped him in the end, didn't I? I mean, I told him about the dragons, didn't I? So I didn't actually fight any dark wizards that year, but then, nobody else did either. Only Harry. And Cedric. Well, Cedric didn't really fight at all actually, he just got killed, poor bloke. And as for Harry, we, he's Harry, isn't he? Of course he fought. I did better in year five though. Yeah, I mean, apart from the brain incident, I did pretty well. And I took part in a real battle at the end of year six. Brilliant, that was. Shame Dumbledore snuffed it.

But the best experience I had was in year seven. Technically it wasn't really year seven 'cos I dropped out of school, but me, Hermione and Harry did plenty of stuff that year. Alright, so I lost the plot a bit and buggered off for a while, but I came to my senses and went back to help. I mean, if it weren't for me, Harry would never have gotten Gryffindor's sword back, would he? And it was me who had the idea of going back to the Chamber of Secrets to get some basilisk teeth. Hermione kissed me for the first time just after that. Did I tell you it only took me seven years to get together with her? Persistent, that's me. And loyal.

References: Well, I suppose you could as McGonagall. And maybe Hagrid.


Finally, why do you wish to become an Auror? Because it's like the most wicked job that a wizard can do. Except maybe being a Quidditch player, but even though I was keeper for Gryffindor's Quidditch team for a while, I never really fancied playing for a career. Aurors are cool though. Plus Hermione's an Auror. You know, my girlfriend. I can't believe it only took me seven years to get together with her. I'm going to ask her to marry me one day. Not yet though, Maybe in another seven years or so, I like to take my time with these things.

Writing Tips From An Unqualified (but enthusiastic) Writer

Moving into the second half of my October blog challenge, and it's the turn of my HPANA buddy Weesa to suggest the next block of topics. Her first prompt is 'Advice for beginner writers'.


This one makes me a bit squirmy as I don't really feel that I'm in a position to offer advice. Sure, I've been writing for around five years now, but I'm not published, and I know I could improve in a number of ways. Still, there are several things that I believe would be useful to aspiring writers out there who are just starting out.

1 - My biggest piece of advice is to read. And when I say read, I mean reads lots. Read copious amounts, really. As much as you can, in every genre possible. The more you read, the higher your vocabulary skills will be, and you will also get a good idea about what does and doesn't sell. Look for plot patterns, see how foreshadowing works, look at the pacing. Dissect as much as you can and break the novel down into sections. If you can see how things work in a published book, it will help you with the layout in your own book.

2 - After you have read a good selection of novels, pick a genre that you enjoyed the most. If you really enjoy reading fantasy, for example, chances are you will enjoy writing fantasy too. Find your comfort zone, and test the waters by writing a short story first, or even a poem. You'll soon know if the genre you've chosen is working for you. My first original novel idea was fantasy based, and I spent three years on the thing and never passed five chapters. Fantasy is my favourite genre, so I really thought it should be the genre that I should write in. Then I went through a phase where I read a bunch of chick lit novels and I decided to have a go at writing one for last year's NaNoWriMo challenge. One month and 50,000 odd words later, and I had a working novel on my hands. Sure, it needs editing and what not, but the bulk of the writing is done. Goes to show that your first genre choice may not be your genre at all, so don't despair if your first choice doesn't work for you.

3 - Have a go at writing some fanfiction. I dipped my toe in the writing pond by writing fanfiction for Harry Potter (you can find all of my Potter stories in the Fan Fun forum on HPANA under my pen name Tundiel Mehtarion). My earlier attempts are a wee bit embarrassing, but I like to leave them up because I think you can really see how much I've improved over the years, and that is something which encourages me. Fanfiction is an excellent way to hone your writing skills, and also has the added bonus of feedback when you post it online.

4 - Blog. As often as you can. This is one of those things where I am saying 'do as I say, not as I do'. My blogging habits are sporadic to say the least, but I am trying to do better. If you really want to write, then you need to get into the habit of writing daily, even if it's only a couple of hundred words. It does work, but you need to be strict. I initially blogged almost every day for the first two months, and this was the time when I wrote my chick lit novel too. Since my blogging dwindled, so did my writing in general (in fact I slipped back into my terrible habit of not doing anything at all *shifty*). The whole reason I'm writing this blog today is because I decided to challenge myself to blog every day in October, partly because it's National Blog Writing Month, but also because I want to enter the NaNoWriMo next month, and this is an excellent way to get myself back in the habit of writing daily.

I also advise you to READ as many blogs as possible, especially any that are to do with writing in general, or are published by authors. You'd be surprised at how much you can pick up just by reading a handful of decent blogs every day, There's a wealth of knowledge out there, and all we have to do is read. *nods*

5 - My final piece of advice is to have fun. Seriously, enjoy your time at the keyboard (or with your pen, if you write by hand). If you really enjoy it when you write, there's a very good chance that people will enjoy reading your work.  And channel your emotions. Sometimes I am laughing like a mad woman when I am writing, or I am sniffing back tears. These are the times when my writing is at its best, and I'm pretty sure that what I am working on is more than half decent. If it seems like a chore, then your writing will come out flat, but if you are enjoying yourself, and have your emotions engaged, then your energy should  (in theory) seep into your work.

That's about all I can think of really. As I said, I'm by no means an expert at this writing malarkey, but these five tips are usually what I tell people if they ask me for advice. Hope some of you find it helpful!

Tomorrow I shall be talking about The Purple. Indeed.

Taffy Potter

Abow eight yers ago, just afta me doorter was born, I discovvahed 'arry Potter. I was bored like, you see, and coz me doorter was a right 'andful even when she was a baby, I 'ad to keep 'old of her for most of the time, so I needed lotsandlots of books to keep me occupied.

Anywayz, one ov me Taffy slags gave me the first four books in the 'arry Potter series, so I was well chuffed becoz it ment I could finally read all abow the craze what was sweeping threw Britain like. Becoz it was supposed to be, like, a kiddie book, I fink I read the first one in abow free hours or somefink. The story was wicked though, and I was a fan from the very first line.

Now most ov you probably already knowz all abow 'arry Potter, but becoz there are still possibly a few clarts out there who've never read the books, like, I'm gunna give you a quick summary ov 'arry's first adventure.

Now, first ov all, the story starts wiv baby 'arry being dropped off outside his aunt's house. There's this wicked wizard see, (and when I say wicked, I means wicked as in evil, not wicked as in bangin') and he's called You-Know-Who. Well really he's called Voldermort, like, but nobody sayz 'is name propa like coz it gives 'em the 'eebie jeebies. Anywayz, You-Know-Who has totally, like, murdered 'arry's parents, and even tried to pop off little 'arry 'imself. But 'arry becomes the Boy What Lived and stuff, which is wicked (ov the bangin kind, not the evil kind).

Not much 'appens for like ten yers, but luckily we gets to skip ahead and not, like, read threw pages and pages of boring stuff. Then 'arry gets visited by this huge clart called 'agrid, and it turns out he 'as to go to this magic school coz he's a wizard just like his parents was, like innit?

Now this is where the venture starts like, coz when 'arry gets to school like, he starts vestigatin some well dodgy stuff that's bin appening. He ends up wiv two clarts - well really it's a clart and a clit, like, innit, coz one's a boy and one's a slag. Anywayz, the trio (cos that's what peeps calls 'em after this point) find lotsa clues and stuff, and spend the next undred pages or so trying to work out who's tryin to steal this fing called the filosifer's stone.

Parrently, this stone is well wicked becoz it like gives you immortality and stuff.  Course, it's pretty obvious that it's You-Know-Who what's afta the stone like, but becoz the orfur wants to make it a little birrov of a misstree, the trio totally gets the wrong end ov the stick like and blames it on this teacher clart what's called Snape. Anywayz, there's this ovver bad clart too, and he's also a teacher (or a prufessor actually, coz that's what they calls the teachers in these books like, innit). This bad clart is in league with You-Know-Who  - sorta like one ov 'is minions if you like, like - and he totally fools everyone, speshally  'arry. Well, to be 'onest, 'arry can be a little birrova lame clart sometimes and dunt usually understand what's going on until the last minit, so it's not really a surprise that he gets fooled like, innit?

So 'arry and his clart and clit ventually cottons on that the bad teacher clart  is about to like steal the filosifer's stone on a particoolar night. They tries to tell the good teacher called Macgonnergle, but she like totally finks their lying and basiclee tells them to du....  uh, go away. Of course, the trio finks they can save the day all by themselves like, so they hatches a plan. Well, to be 'onest they dunt really hatch a plan, they just sorta muddles threw everyfink, but youknowzwhatImean.

Course, afta they've solved a few puzzles and stuff, the clart and the clit ends up 'aving to stay behind (coz the clart ends up knocked out and the clit wants to look afta him like). So 'arry ends up confrunting the bad teacher all by 'imself. Now I won't spoil fings for those peeps that avent read the book yet (I mean, I knowz I've already told you lotsov stuff already like, but I aint givin everyfink away, like innit?), but suffice to say that 'arry, even though he's a birrova lame clart mostly, manages to save the stone.

And that's basiclee the end of the book like, cept 'arry  spends sum time in the school infurmurry, and gets visited by the clart what has the long white beard (who is actually the 'eadmaster of the school, by the way, and is called Dumbledore). Anyways, they shares sum sweets (which aren't very lush by the way coz they tastes of really 'orrible things sumtimes, like ear wax fer 'xample), and the clart with the white beard torks alittlebit cryptically to 'arry about this and that (mostly about nuffing much, to be 'onest, coz the dude with the white beard never really 'xplains fings properly, which I gorra say is a little bit annoying to be truthful).

Anywayz, 'arry ventually leaves the infurmurry and meets back up with his clart and clit, and they all joins the rest ov the school for the final feast ov the yer (I just ramembered that I forgot to tell you allabou the feasts - they has these bangin' feasts at the school  fer speshal accasions like, and the last meal ov the yer is usually one ov the times they does it). Anywayz, the feast is well lush as usual, and before we knowz it, eveyone is back on the train to go home fer the summer like. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you abou the trains too. Never mind, I'm sure you can get the gist anallat.

So that's where the book ends like, innit. I was well chuffed that I was given the first four books togevver, coz I'd have bin a bit ducked off if I couldn't have read any more right away. Course, I was well into the story and so I started the second book right away, but I'll leave that for anovver blog like, innit?

Youknowzitmakezsense.

Mixed Mutterings

I'm on day six of my requests now, and today's going to be the trickiest one so far. I needed a request, so I posted a Facebook status asking for suggestions. I immediately got three, and, because the whole point of this request thingy is that I don't get to choose, I updated my status and started a poll. Whichever subject had the most votes would be blogged about today. Sounds fairly simple, yes? That's what I thought, at any rate. Only when I went to check on the progress, it appeared that the most votes went to an option that I hadn't even thought of - namely, blog about all three suggestions.

My three suggestions were jelly (or jello to my across-the-pond buddies), Monty Python, and insane friendships. As if that wasn't tricky enough, I also had votes for chocolate and coffee. So today's ramble is going to be even more rambling than it usually is, and that's something I thought wasn't possible. *snort*

So, where do I begin? I guess I'll go with chocolate first, seeing as that is something I have mostly given up in the last five months, and is something that almost everyone loves. Now you can get all kinds of chocolate - white, dark, milk, nutty, toffee etc - and you can spend as little or as much as you choose, depending whether you buy the corner shop bar or the box of Thornton's-I-Have-To-Many-Calories-For-You-To-Even-Contemplate-Deluxe-Extraordinaire. As with many things, I prefer the cheaper option. Offer me a couple of 15p Freddo bars (I'm still mourning the increase from 10p to 15p a couple of years ago), or a box of Thornton's, and I'd typically go for the Freddo bars. I think it's mostly because Freddo bars make me feel like a kid again (although they seem terribly small now compared to 25 years ago). Thinking about it, ALL chocolate bars seem tiny now. Okay, I'm a lot bigger than I was at six years of age, but I'm still pretty sure that Mars bars are about half the size they used to be....

Anyway, from chocolate to coffee, because that seems like a natural progression, yes? It might not seem that way to you, but it does to me. At least it seems the most suitable leap when compared to the other subjects. Actually, I'd thought of jelly being next, but I have an actual link to another topic for that one, so I'm saving it till later. I know you wanted to know that.

So, coffee. I enjoy a cup of frothy coffee as much as the next person (unless that person is allergic to caffeine, of course), but I'm not dependent on the stuff. I'll have a two or three cups a week, but I'm more of a tea girl. But when I do have coffee, my absolute favorite is a cappuccino - preferably with plenty of chocolate sprinkled over the top (Ha! See! That's how I leaped from chocolate to coffee! I'm not mad at all!) Of course, Starbucks is the best place to get said cappuccino, but the nearest Starbucks to me is a half hour bus ride away, so not really practical. I've tried the homemade ones, but they're just not the same. Plus you don't get to have them in a spiffy Starbucks mug ,unless you want to pay £10 for one (or 'borrow' one when it has accidentally fallen into the back of your daughter's buggy) *shifty*

But yeah, I can see the attraction of coffee, especially because it has the ability to make some people very hyper, with the added bonus of not having to drink alcohol to get that way. Then again, some people mix their alcohol with coffee, and then they turn absolutely bonkers.

Which leads me very nicely to Monty Python. (See! I do have a plan to get from one topic to another!)

I adore Monty Python, though I'm by no means an expert. Of course, I could probably say ten things off the top of my head if we were playing the word association game and the prompt was 'Monty Python', but I'm not so knowledgeable about them that I can quote entire scenes word for word.  What I do know, is that practically everyone on the planet has heard of them, and most people have a favorite quote. I'm actually torn, because I have favorite quotes from two of their best movies - Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Life of Brian. I love both movies, but I think Grail might just have the edge. Brian may possibly have my all-time favorite movie quote ever - "He's NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY naughty boy!" - but Grail is just a roller coaster of laughs from beginning to end. From the coconut-wielding party of 'questers', to the slightly dubious minstrel; from Castle Anthrax to the Knights of Ni; from shrubberies to the 'it's just a flesh wound' arm-less guard, it's pure hysteria for the entire duration. I haven't watched these movies for years, but talking about them now makes me want to watch them right now....

Of course, Monty Python were years ahead of their time, in my opinion, and their humor never seems to date. Some comedies lose their sparkle when watched a decade or two after they were first broadcast, but Monty Python's strain of alternative comedy is just as funny now as it ever was, and continues to draw new fans. I think a lot of it is due to the fact you can just tell this group had lots of fun while they worked. The rapport between the Pythons was as obvious as it was infectious; you simply couldn't watch them without at least giggling, though I'd wager that full-bellied laughs were (and are) the usual reaction.

The fondness and obvious connection between the Pythons brings me very nicely to the subject of insane friendships. Now, I'm not talking about your average friends here, I'm talking about the people that you'd never have thought would be in your life. I have good friends from different 'areas' of my life. I'm still friends with several of my school buddies, and we still see each other and reminisce fondly about old times, at the same time creating brand new memories to reminisce upon in the years to come.  I have friends who are ex-colleagues from various jobs, and when meet up we still have a blast. Then there are the friends that are actually family members, both from my side and my husband's. But I'm not talking about these friends, much as I love them. I'm talking about online friends.

It really is insane how we can click with people that we will probably never meet. I had the good fortune to meet up with several of my online friends almost two years ago, but until we all land that magical publishing contract, this is unlikely to happen again any time soon. My online buddies are spread worldwide - literally, so meeting up with them is mostly a pipe dream. Yet although we've only ever spoken to each other online, I'm about as close as I can get to them as I could be. My very first two friends I met online were Ana and Corvis (Corvis is a nickname, and although she now uses her real name, she will always be Cor to me). Ana and Corvis.... wow, I don't know how to explain our incredible friendship without rambling for at least 10,000 words, and I'm pretty sure nobody wants to read 10,000 words about people they've never heard of.

As briefly as I can, I'll try to explain:  Ana + Corvis + Tara = Evil Triplets. Evil Triplets love Lord of the Rings,  Harry Potter, and speaking in asterisks. Evil Triplets would quite happily spend all day role playing LotR and smacking the lames (the lames in question usually tend to be Harry, Hermione, Ron and Dumbledore from Harry Potter). Evil Triplets drink plenty of beer, vodka and rum as often as they can. Evil Triplets love 'borrowing' scripts from movies and putting their own (usually insane) spin on them. Evil Triplets share the bond of being unable to stick to one username on HPANA. And Evil Triplets all share the same dream; TTTing across New Zealand. That would be 'The Two Towers-ing across New Zealand', which translates to touring the fabulous landscape that formed the backdrop for the lovingly made Lord of the Rings movies.

Of course, with Ana hailing from Columbia, Cor from Chicago, and me from Wales, we're not real triplets (quite apart from being different ages), but I've never felt so connected to anyone as I do with these two. I remember Cor phoning me a couple of years ago - for the very first time - and we talked for around three hours. I don't think I've laughed so much in my entire life (though I think Cor almost died when she got her phone bill, partly from shock, and partly because her lame (er, not Harry et all, but her husband at the time) almost killed her. We just jelled (which I know should be 'gelled', but I need to get onto jelly. *winks*).  I really love all of my online friends - and I have a lot - but Ana and Cor are my soul sisters, most definitely.

Now, speaking of jelled *coughs*, how about that jelly? Lovely jubbly, wibbly wobbly jelly. There's a lot you can do with jelly. *nods wisely* Not only can you bribe your kids with it (be good and you can have some jelly for afters!), you can have food fights with them (nothing like flicking copious amounts of jelly across the room), you can make alcoholic shots with them (vodka jelly anyone?), and apparently you can put it on your hair if you're a synchronized swimmer (so Tami informs me. Tami also asked me how to get rid of said jelly after it clogs the drains too, but I really have no idea, sorry Tami!) And to add to all this, the lovely jubbly, wibbly wobbly jelly not only tastes good, but is so rubbery and pliable that it has almost limitless possibilities when it comes to non-eating activities *nudge nudge wink wink* ifyouknowwhatImean. Youknowzitmakezsense.

And on that note, I think it might be wise to stop. So I shall. Feel free to imagine all sorts of jelly-inspired non-eating activities, I know I will.

Next request?

HPANA Rules!

Today's request comes from one of my newest online buddies, Leesh. It's sort of fitting too, because the topic she suggested was HPANA - the very first internet home that I adopted - and also the place where I originally 'met' today's requestee (that's not a real word, I know, but you know how I like to make up words).

Where do I begin? Well, I should probably start by mentioning that yesterday was the fifth anniversary of my joining one of the most popular Harry Potter fansites on the web. I don't know why I chose this particular site - it wasn't the first 'hit' from google when I originally decided to type in 'Harry Potter' in the search bar. I think I was attracted by the simple layout more than anything (me being one of the most computer inept people on the planet). I'd only been actively using the internet for around three months when I joined HPANA, so a simple format to navigate was a must.

I initially ventured into the canon discussion areas, where I dived straight in and posted a theory about one of the characters. I don't know how it happened,  but eventually the topic became so popular that it became one of the elite 'pinned' threads. Nobody was more surprised than me, let me tell you. Anyway, a few months after joining, I gained a bit of confidence and began to explore the site. Up until that point I hadn't ventured much further than a couple of topics, and I really only posted in one or two.

Then I clicked on the link for Fan Fun - and opened up a whole new world. For the first time in my life, I discovered fan fiction. I seriously had never heard of it before, and it wasn't long before I became addicted to several of the ongoing fictions. It was only a small leap between reading and writing fanfic, and that's how I started writing again.

I've always loved writing, but in the years filled with stressing over bills, working horrible shifts, and bringing up a family, I sort of forgot my dream of one day being a novelist. Now I freely admit that my first fanfic was truly atrocious. Honestly, I look back on it now and cringe at how badly written it is - the plot was mediocre, the structure was terrible, and as for spelling and typos.... well, you probably get the picture. Nevertheless it proved strangely popular, despite its failings. Buoyed by the fabulous comments that I received throughout the posting duration, my brain started connecting my serious HPANA self to my fanfic madness HPANA self. I decided to make my original theory - that was still going strong in the discussion forum - into a fanfic.

And so the dream truly became solidified in my head. My second fanfic was probably my most popular story on the boards, and nothing I have ever written since has ever surpassed it. I've written three complete longer length stories, am still procrastinating over another three, and have numerous short stories under my belt, not to mention my 15,000 word novella that doesn't fit in either the 'short' or the 'long' category. They've all been fun to write, and when you compare my initial work to my later stuff, I firmly believe that I have improved a hundredfold. It's definitely a brilliant way to hone those writing skills.

Now onto other stuff, because as much as I love HPANA for giving me back my writing mojo, I also love it because I have made a ton of friends on there over the years. Every member of my writer's group, The Burrow was originally a member on HPANA, and it is on that site that we first connected (The Burrow as a name loosely inspired from our Harry Potter roots). I don't think I'll ever be able to express just how grateful - and proud - I am to be a member of this group. These people are fantastic in every way possible. They encourage my writing, they are enthusiastic about everything, they give honest feedback, and most importantly for me personally, are just the best friends you could ask for. A few of us managed to meet up in 2008 - no mean feat when you consider we are all from different countries - and it was astounding how well we got on together, it was like we had known each other for years. Which, of course, we had, but only in an online way. That's pretty incredible. The picture, left to right, is Jess, Leanne, Tami (Confessions of a Watery Tart), me, and Mari (The Giraffability of Digressions)

Besides my writer's group, I also have a bunch of other fantastic friends on HPANA, mostly my readers, and also other authors from the site. Prior to The Burrow, I was a member of another group, also a writing group, but perhaps not as serious. The NCWC (or Non-Comedy Writer's Club in its full dress) was crazy fun, writing challenges, glomping, poking and all sorts of other things rolled into one. We eventually vacated HPANA and moved to our own closed forum, and although we aren't nearly as active as we used to be, we have all remained the firmest of friends and still have a fond laugh for Barnbledore (a cross between Albus Dumbledore and Barney the Dinosaur) and the Fart Button. Good times....

Of course, now that the Harry Potter books have long finished, and the movies are almost done too, the participation on HPANA has dwindled a fair bit, but we still have that lovely community that, for all its smaller size, is still as addictive and fun as it ever was. I'm still making friends on there, even after five years, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I'll always have a soft spot for Harry Potter, but I believe that it is HPANA that will inspire the fondest memories for me in the years to come.

Don't forget, first person to post gets to have control over me for my next blog post!

You Never Know....

It's May 1st! Seriously, May 1st?? Where the hell did January, February, March and April go? Anyway, besides wondering where the last four months have gone, I am fairly happy that it is May because that means we are slowly but surely heading towards the summer. Of course, living in Britain means that summer is not exactly what it ought to be. We'll probably get an odd week here and there with supremely hot weather, but on the whole I'd hazard a guess that we'll be needing our coats and umbrellas far more often than the season of summer would normally require. Still, summer is summer, be it sunny or not.

Anywho, although I generally hate the hot days (yeah, I'm a miserable witch), I am still far more upbeat during the summer season when compared to the rest of the year. It probably has something to do with the extra hours of daylight (it definitely has nothing to do with the summer holidays - two boisterous kids + seven weeks of no school usually = Severely Stressed Tara).  Anyway....

So it's May, and the start of a new season. Hopefully it's the start of a new phase for me too, because I'm pretty sick and tired of being Miserable Tara. So, in the interests of making a new start, I recently starting re-posting an old fanfic of mine over on HPANA. I figured I needed something regular to do to keep me occupied that didn't require a lot of brain power, but would get me back in the habit of participating online again. I've mostly been good; I'd intended posting one section a day, and although I've missed days, I've managed to post several sections at a time to make up for it. The lovely thing is that I have new readers! Back in its heyday, the fic had a strong following, but the level of participating members on HPANA has generally dwindled since the last Harry Potter book was released, and most of my original readership have either left the site, or have lost interest in reading fanfics.

Now, I'm  someone who likes to stick to what they know. The fanfic community over on HPANA is quite 'cliquey' - you definitely have a core group for a certain type of story, and generally you'll find that a group of people will stick to their own stories and won't venture into anything else. I can't grumble about that because I am largely the same. You stick to the people you are familiar with, it's just one of those things.

My original group of readers were fabulous. They read everything I posted, be it dramatic, emotional, or just plain crazy. And no matter how bizarre my writing was, they always responded positively. I really miss those days, and often wish I could go back in time a few years. *sighs*

Anywho, I was wary of posting this particular fic because, well, to be truthful, it's a bit nutty. Not only that, but I've been stuck in a rut with my fanfic (and my writing in general, if I'm being honest) for a long time. Not having my old reading gang behind me was pretty scary, especially because this was not your usual fic.

But I was brave, and I started re-posting. I had two fabulous readers immediately, who have never failed to comment after each and every update posted. *hugs Leesh and Kimmy*. Then, this morning, I had a new reader post, and do you know what, it felt wonderful. Seriously wonderful.  My three readers (now three might not seem a big readership, but on a site that has slowed down dramatically, three is no bad deal) are people that six months ago I had never really spoken to. I knew them a little, since I moderate for the site and am pretty familiar with most of the members on there, especially on the fanfic boards, but I didn't really interact with them. Like I said, we're a cliquey bunch, and we tend to stick to our own.

But do you know what? These new people are just as fun and encouraging as my previous readers. Which goes to show that if you are brave enough to step out from your comfort zone, you will probably be nicely surprised. So I have a suggestion for you (yes, I mean YOU). Try something new today. It could be anything from trying something new to eat, trying a new author or genre when you look for a book to read, even trying a random blog that you've never looked at before. Just try it. Maybe you won't like it.... but may you will. And maybe you'll discover some new friends too.

Prison Break

It's been almost a full week without blogs.... *sighs* I've had maybe half an hour a day on the computer for the last week, and these half hours have been in snippets of five or ten minutes at a time. Really not conductive towards blogging (or writing of any kind, for that matter). There's no blog today, either. Well, not technically at any rate.

While I was skimming through the Fan Fun forum over at HPANA, I noticed that I hadn't posted a short story in my compilation thread since August. Even more shaming, the August posting was in fact a mere transferring of a story that I had written previously, so it wasn't even a new story.  Feeling the Guilt Monster breathing down my neck, I quickly opened Wordpad and started typing. You have to bear in mind that I had no clue as what I would write about, but I typed for forty-five minutes or so and dutifully posted my ramblings in my compilation thread anyway. That's the kind of Come What May girl I am.  And, as I am also a Kill Two Birds With One Stone kind of girl (or a cheater, you decide), I figured I'd post my hastily written short story here too. I mean, it's rambling, and it was written with no idea how it would end, so it ties in really well with my other blogs, see?

UPDATE!! Sorry, but I had to take down the story, as the second half jumped out at me to be used in a much better way...

Leaving things half-finis...

No, there isn't a typo in the title of today's blog, it was an attempt at humour. I know you may not believe this, because a)I am a Typo Queen and b), well, it's not really funny. But it's the truth, so help me Aragorn (that wasn't a typo either, though to be fair it would be pretty difficult to to have 'Aragorn' as a typo for 'God'. Having said that, if you have Aragorn on the mind, anything is possible, so maybe it could have been a typo after all). Hmm.

Anyway,  what I wanted to talk about was my very bad habit of leaving things half-finished. This, I should also tell you, goes hand in hand with leaving things to the last minute. And also hand in hand (you may have to swap hands to achieve required handiness, or borrow a friend's extremities, you decide), with the tendency to dither, waste time, and generally procrastinate.

On Leaving Things half-finished....

These things could be anything, though then usually tend to be writing projects. *shifty* I have - wonder of wonders- actually completed no less than three longer length fan fictions. Now, three is quite a nice number, but when you consider that I have been writing fanfic for over four years now, three isn't an awful lot (and in fact, the very first fiction that I ever wrote and completed was short enough to be definitely dicey on the classification of 'longer fanfic').

To put it into perspective, I currently have two 'ongoing' (and I use that term loosely) fanfictions. One was started in November of 2007 and was supposed to have been finished within two to three months. *pulls familiar shifty face* The other, probably my personal favorite in terms of writing for it, was started way back in March of 2006 (you all know how shifty I am looking now, right?). The first fic should have been finished at least a year ago. I stipulated two to three months because I thought it would be fairly short, but I ended up writing more scenes that I initially intended, so the plot became too much for a shorter length fic. Still, two years later, I am only half way through....

My second fic, though, was always meant to be longer. Having a extremely soft spot for Remus Lupin (of Harry Potter fame), I decided to write his life story based on the little canon that we knew about him. I have him at nine years old at the start, and the plan was (still is, in fact) to take him right the way up until his death.  The really good thing with this story is that I get to be evil. *nods* Remus Lupin is definitely a victim, and not only because if his Furry Little Problem (er, for the few of you who haven't read these books, our Remmy is a werewolf, bless him *hugs Remmy*). The poor soul is also without parents, not to mention virtually friendless, and without any means to support himself in a world that categorically hates werewolves (poor thing, I mean honestly, it's not like werewolves are dangerous, is it? )

Still, even though I intended the story to be long-lasting, we are now three and a half years later, and Remus is still only 14. *does the shifty foot shuffle* It's also a mark of how long I have been writing this fic that the banner actually has my original HPANA username on there (complete with obligatory typo), when I actually changed my username over two years ago. *snorts*

And then there are the three fictions that I abandoned completely.  My bad. Very bad. It's an absolute pain in the arse when you get involved in a story only to have the author give up on it half way through. I KNOW this, yet I have still committed this cardinal sin.

The thing is, it's not that I actively choose to abandon these stories, and it's not that I don't want to finish them, because I do, very much so. Obviously I am to blame, because I can't exactly blame it on someone else, but sometimes it really isn't my fault, I swear. Scout's Honour (okay, I'm not, nor ever have been, a scout, but you know what I mean). A good 50% of the blame can actually be apportioned to things that are out of my control. Lack of computer (this is the biggie), lack of time (some months more than others), and lack of ideas (you can't force a muse to appear, even with bribery, I tried) all contribute to the lack of writing. I could even add stress and depression to this, because I am a very up and down person who can experience quite scary mood-swings on a regular basis. The highs are very good, because they make me a little hyper, thus more inclined to write, but the lows are not at all conductive to story-telling.

On the other hand, there is also 50% worth of blame that still needs to be dished out, and I can't deny that this half of the problem is all down to me. You would be amazed at the amount of things I could find to do that would mean I could accidentally-forget-on-purpose that I am supposed to be writing. I've even been known to get the iron and ironing board out in order to put off that update that should have been written several days ago. *needs to have the word 'shifty' tattooed across my forehead).

I suppose that technically, it really isn't my fault as such. It's always been in my nature to dither and put things off, and it's a very hard habit to break. I have small breakthroughs now and again (NaNoWriMo was the biggest breakthrough EVER), but they are few and far between.  I'm trying to do better though.

Only, I've sort of noticed that this month is not going so well. I've not written anything at all in the last week, and I haven't managed to keep up with my blog.  Still, this is mostly because December is such a mad, mad month, and also because the hubby is currently off work so my computer time is severely hampered. I'm not too worried about it in actual fact. My fingers may be idle, but my brain is whizzing with activity, and I have managed to jot down plot ideas for the next two books in my proposed Fairy Tales series.  (Note that once again, my original 'original', Soul Identitiy, is on the back burner. One year I may actually write the darn thing, but seeing as at the moment my brain can only conjure chick-litty stuff, I'm letting that one stay in the dusty attic which is situated in the top left-hand corner of my brain for the time being).

Oh, and I forgot! I haven't 'not written anything at all' this month after all! I churned out two Christmas drabbles the other day. *grins* There, that's not so bad, is it?