Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Monday, 7 December 2009

Leaving things half-finis...

No, there isn't a typo in the title of today's blog, it was an attempt at humour. I know you may not believe this, because a)I am a Typo Queen and b), well, it's not really funny. But it's the truth, so help me Aragorn (that wasn't a typo either, though to be fair it would be pretty difficult to to have 'Aragorn' as a typo for 'God'. Having said that, if you have Aragorn on the mind, anything is possible, so maybe it could have been a typo after all). Hmm.

Anyway,  what I wanted to talk about was my very bad habit of leaving things half-finished. This, I should also tell you, goes hand in hand with leaving things to the last minute. And also hand in hand (you may have to swap hands to achieve required handiness, or borrow a friend's extremities, you decide), with the tendency to dither, waste time, and generally procrastinate.

On Leaving Things half-finished....

These things could be anything, though then usually tend to be writing projects. *shifty* I have - wonder of wonders- actually completed no less than three longer length fan fictions. Now, three is quite a nice number, but when you consider that I have been writing fanfic for over four years now, three isn't an awful lot (and in fact, the very first fiction that I ever wrote and completed was short enough to be definitely dicey on the classification of 'longer fanfic').

To put it into perspective, I currently have two 'ongoing' (and I use that term loosely) fanfictions. One was started in November of 2007 and was supposed to have been finished within two to three months. *pulls familiar shifty face* The other, probably my personal favorite in terms of writing for it, was started way back in March of 2006 (you all know how shifty I am looking now, right?). The first fic should have been finished at least a year ago. I stipulated two to three months because I thought it would be fairly short, but I ended up writing more scenes that I initially intended, so the plot became too much for a shorter length fic. Still, two years later, I am only half way through....

My second fic, though, was always meant to be longer. Having a extremely soft spot for Remus Lupin (of Harry Potter fame), I decided to write his life story based on the little canon that we knew about him. I have him at nine years old at the start, and the plan was (still is, in fact) to take him right the way up until his death.  The really good thing with this story is that I get to be evil. *nods* Remus Lupin is definitely a victim, and not only because if his Furry Little Problem (er, for the few of you who haven't read these books, our Remmy is a werewolf, bless him *hugs Remmy*). The poor soul is also without parents, not to mention virtually friendless, and without any means to support himself in a world that categorically hates werewolves (poor thing, I mean honestly, it's not like werewolves are dangerous, is it? )

Still, even though I intended the story to be long-lasting, we are now three and a half years later, and Remus is still only 14. *does the shifty foot shuffle* It's also a mark of how long I have been writing this fic that the banner actually has my original HPANA username on there (complete with obligatory typo), when I actually changed my username over two years ago. *snorts*

And then there are the three fictions that I abandoned completely.  My bad. Very bad. It's an absolute pain in the arse when you get involved in a story only to have the author give up on it half way through. I KNOW this, yet I have still committed this cardinal sin.

The thing is, it's not that I actively choose to abandon these stories, and it's not that I don't want to finish them, because I do, very much so. Obviously I am to blame, because I can't exactly blame it on someone else, but sometimes it really isn't my fault, I swear. Scout's Honour (okay, I'm not, nor ever have been, a scout, but you know what I mean). A good 50% of the blame can actually be apportioned to things that are out of my control. Lack of computer (this is the biggie), lack of time (some months more than others), and lack of ideas (you can't force a muse to appear, even with bribery, I tried) all contribute to the lack of writing. I could even add stress and depression to this, because I am a very up and down person who can experience quite scary mood-swings on a regular basis. The highs are very good, because they make me a little hyper, thus more inclined to write, but the lows are not at all conductive to story-telling.

On the other hand, there is also 50% worth of blame that still needs to be dished out, and I can't deny that this half of the problem is all down to me. You would be amazed at the amount of things I could find to do that would mean I could accidentally-forget-on-purpose that I am supposed to be writing. I've even been known to get the iron and ironing board out in order to put off that update that should have been written several days ago. *needs to have the word 'shifty' tattooed across my forehead).

I suppose that technically, it really isn't my fault as such. It's always been in my nature to dither and put things off, and it's a very hard habit to break. I have small breakthroughs now and again (NaNoWriMo was the biggest breakthrough EVER), but they are few and far between.  I'm trying to do better though.

Only, I've sort of noticed that this month is not going so well. I've not written anything at all in the last week, and I haven't managed to keep up with my blog.  Still, this is mostly because December is such a mad, mad month, and also because the hubby is currently off work so my computer time is severely hampered. I'm not too worried about it in actual fact. My fingers may be idle, but my brain is whizzing with activity, and I have managed to jot down plot ideas for the next two books in my proposed Fairy Tales series.  (Note that once again, my original 'original', Soul Identitiy, is on the back burner. One year I may actually write the darn thing, but seeing as at the moment my brain can only conjure chick-litty stuff, I'm letting that one stay in the dusty attic which is situated in the top left-hand corner of my brain for the time being).

Oh, and I forgot! I haven't 'not written anything at all' this month after all! I churned out two Christmas drabbles the other day. *grins* There, that's not so bad, is it?


  1. *coughs*

    Two things... after a mad rush of a project like your NaNo, it is TOTALLY normal to have sort of a... balance time afterward... a time where you instead are trying to do the things that DIDN'T get done...

    But also... you need to put an end date on that bounceback, or you won't get back to it. I know you plan to edit the NaNo in January, so maybe what you do in the short term is set yourself a reasonable goal like "an update a week on the fanfics" That commits you to a few hours of writing a week, but also allows you to keep up on the other stuff...

  2. Yeah, I know. I've just been so busy this last week that I feel like I havent had time to breathe. Ugh. I think Wednesdays are going to be the only days where I can actually spend more than ten minutes at a time on the PC, and possibly Fridays, depending how much Christmas shopping I can get done online... erk. December has arrived out of the blue almost.