Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

W is for...

Winging it...

My approach to writing can be wrong
Tending to make up as I go along
But I cannot moan
As each to their own
And it works when my wits are long gone!

Thursday, 26 April 2012

V is for...

Verra Verra Sexy

Men wear trousers, women a skirt
But sometimes mixing it up won't hurt
There's no doubt a Scot
Is incredibly hot
When his kilt shows a butt that is pert.

Original image

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

U is for...

Ugly Duckling

No matter the size of your hips
Or if you have kissable lips
There's someone out there
Who'll make you a pair
And will share your super-sized chips!

Original image

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

T is for...

Tic Toc

In a departure from limericks for today only, I have for your viewing 'pleasure', a video of my ten year old daughter performing a dance routine that she choreographed herself for the song 'Tic Toc' by Kesha. If you can get through the video (it's under four minutes), you will hear yours truly saying my Taffy catchphrase. Originally,  I was going to read an old Taff post for my 'T', but I couldn't figure out how to upload the recording from my phone, and I have no idea how to use the laptop's recording facility...  *is technically inept*


Monday, 23 April 2012

S is for...


If you're wanting to make a big splash
Then try giving stilettos a bash
The flatties won't wash
So don't waste your dosh
Sexy shoes should be swapped for your cash!

Original image

Sunday, 22 April 2012

R is for...

Rood Words

Sometimes politeness really won't do
When all you want is to say 'bleep you'
With a little Taff rhyme
You can swear all the time
 And say 'duck you!' all that you want to!

Original image

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Q is for...


I've often been told I am quirky
Which is better than being a turkey
My mind can be misty
It makes all things twisty
And that's when things can get murkey...

Original image

Thursday, 19 April 2012

P is for...


My posts are hardly prolific
Just words on things unspecific
But I still have a go
Even when I feel low
So sometimes they aren't so terrific.

Original image

I'm a day behind again, thank goodness for Sundays! Unlike the guy in the picture, I haven't been hit by the big bad flu bug. I've been sucker-punched by Mr Shingles, which explains my back pain and general feeling of malaise for the last two weeks or so. Finally got the right diagnosis and the proper meds today, so hopefully things will improve!

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

O is for...

Ooh la la!

When wanting a bit of 'how's your father?'
Don't let yourself get into a lather
No need to think
Just give a wink
Crook your finger and say 'ooh la la!'

Original image

Not my best effort, but I'm still under the weather. :(

Monday, 16 April 2012

N is for...


The minutes tick by 'til twelve o'clock
My brain feels like it's in a deadlock
Like Humpty Dumpty
I feel like a Numpty
By posting this utter poppycock!

Original image

Sunday, 15 April 2012

M is for...

More, More, More!

Holding yourself back can be a bore
Move in for a kiss (or three, or four)
So don't be shy
Give it a try
I promise you'll only want more!

Original image

Saturday, 14 April 2012

L is for...


I'm a day behind to be sure
I've had a painful back to endure
But I do not care
As Sundays are spare
So my falling behind has a cure!

Original image

Thursday, 12 April 2012

K is for...


Suspenders, stockings, and some high heels
Some food that may not be for a meal
Don something slinky
And get with the kinky
All your fantasies will become real!

Original image

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

J is for...


If eyeing a pirate's your pleasure
Then spy on this one at leisure
It's no joke that Jack
Really has that knack
To give you moments to treasure!

Original image

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

I is for...


If you're looking for a new thrill
How about something that gives you a chill?
Playing with ice
Could be your new vice
In the right place it can be quite a thrill.

Original image

Monday, 9 April 2012

H is for...

Hello Boys!

If wanting to attract a male
Then showing some boobage won't fail
A push-up bra
Will get you far
But don't flash, or you'll end up in jail!

Original image

A/N Apologies for not being able to answer comments at the moment. I'm laid up with a bad back and am not spending any time on the computer... hopefully will be back to full working order soon!

Saturday, 7 April 2012

G is for...


Blindfolds, handcuffs, and a handy whip
Lots of laces, with a well-placed zip
What fun can be had
When you're playing bad
Just throw away qualms and let rip!

Original image

Friday, 6 April 2012

F is for...


Donning some clothes that are not your own
Take a new character as a loan
Sexy nurses and docs
Or a dancer that's hot
Will surely cause a gasp or a moan.

Original image

Thursday, 5 April 2012

E is for...

Erogenous Zones!!

To know where to place a kiss
Can be a case of hit or miss
Perhaps on the nose?
Or maybe your toes?
Get it right, and the result is bliss!

Original image

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

D is for...


When choosing a new family pet
It's hard to know what to get
Something cool and quite cute
And preferably mute
The idea of dragons was well met!

Pinky and Perky. *coughs*

Image self-taken.

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

C is for...


When life gets a little bit manic
Don't let yourself get in a panic.
When problems befuddle
Just have a few cuddles
(And be sure to make a few tantric).

Original image

Monday, 2 April 2012

B is for...


I've tried so hard over the years
Amid lots of frustration and tears
The pounds go, then come back
So I'll never lack
Ample booty - it's a curse, I fear.

Original image

Sunday, 1 April 2012

A is for...


I'm inching my way towards forty
And have never been what you'd call 'sporty'.
But you need all your limbs
To do bedtime things
Or else it's just 'nice', and not 'naughty'.

Er, not quite the jumping I had in mind...

Original Image