Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Auror Application

Name: Ronald Bilius Weasley

Born: March 1 1980

Education: Home-schooled until aged 11, Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from aged 11-16.

Formal Qualifications: A handful of O.W.L.s.

Further Education: Dropped out of school to participate in the war against Lord Voldemort.

Hobbies: Eating; being a sidekick; pulling silly faces; providing comic relief; being the underdog; excelling at having the emotional sensitivity of a teaspoon.

How did you hear about this job? I didn't. Blimey, everyone wants to be an Auror, though, don't they? Cool.

What qualities would you bring to this position? Well, I dunno really. I guess I'm good for back up. Yeah, I'm definitely good for that. And I work well in a team; especially if it's a trio, and even better if it's Harry and Hermione. Hermione's my girlfriend, you know. It only took me seven years to ask her out, but I'm a persistent bloke, me. I suppose that's a good quality isn't it, persistence? I'm stubborn too, which is probably a good thing to be when you're chasing after dark wizards. Never give up, that's my motto. Unless there's giant spiders involved, then I would run for my life. But honestly, who wouldn't? Except maybe Hagrid, but he's half giant so he don't count.

Skills: I'm an excellent chess player. And, um, I'm, well, an excellent chess player really...

Character strengths: I'm really, really loyal. Except when I get in a stinking mood, or I'm jealous or something, but mostly I'm just loyal. And persistent, yeah, that's me. Did I tell you it took me seven years to ask my girlfriend out? And I'm fair-minded, except when I'm jealous, or in a filthy mood.

Character weaknesses: I suppose I can be a bit moody, but hey, nobodys perfect.

What experience, if any, do you have with fighting dark wizards? Well I helped Harry back in the first year at school. I didn't really fight as such, but I played a wicked game of chess. And in year two I was right there with Harry when we went to rescue my sister; it wasn't my fault that the Chamber of Secrets collapsed, was it? Just like it wasn't my fault in year three when we had to save Sirius Black. I mean, I would have helped, but with a broken leg and all, well, it was difficult. Year four was a bit quiet for me, and yeah, I was a bit of a git with Harry for a while, but I helped him in the end, didn't I? I mean, I told him about the dragons, didn't I? So I didn't actually fight any dark wizards that year, but then, nobody else did either. Only Harry. And Cedric. Well, Cedric didn't really fight at all actually, he just got killed, poor bloke. And as for Harry, we, he's Harry, isn't he? Of course he fought. I did better in year five though. Yeah, I mean, apart from the brain incident, I did pretty well. And I took part in a real battle at the end of year six. Brilliant, that was. Shame Dumbledore snuffed it.

But the best experience I had was in year seven. Technically it wasn't really year seven 'cos I dropped out of school, but me, Hermione and Harry did plenty of stuff that year. Alright, so I lost the plot a bit and buggered off for a while, but I came to my senses and went back to help. I mean, if it weren't for me, Harry would never have gotten Gryffindor's sword back, would he? And it was me who had the idea of going back to the Chamber of Secrets to get some basilisk teeth. Hermione kissed me for the first time just after that. Did I tell you it only took me seven years to get together with her? Persistent, that's me. And loyal.

References: Well, I suppose you could as McGonagall. And maybe Hagrid.

Finally, why do you wish to become an Auror? Because it's like the most wicked job that a wizard can do. Except maybe being a Quidditch player, but even though I was keeper for Gryffindor's Quidditch team for a while, I never really fancied playing for a career. Aurors are cool though. Plus Hermione's an Auror. You know, my girlfriend. I can't believe it only took me seven years to get together with her. I'm going to ask her to marry me one day. Not yet though, Maybe in another seven years or so, I like to take my time with these things.


    ugh *smacks Ron*
    You know Ron, I'm the one that's checking this application .. meaning you're so NOT going to make it!!

  2. Haha, SPOT ON! Poor Ron - not easy being the comic relief dude, is it... Even the Auror Office could use a laugh every now and then, though. Not to mention a decent game of chess.

    *wants to reread*

  3. Ana - what? But's he's so LOYAL. *nods*

    Mari - yes, every law establishment needs a good chess player. Or a jester. In fact, they are largely interchangable.

  4. SS is on tv right now! You missed the troll incident in first year, he clobbered that troll good, by mastering wingardium leviosa.

  5. I probably missed more than just the troll incident, but I never said I'd be thorough... *shifty* But yes, that was indeed one of Ron's finer moments. *slaps wrist*

  6. Would you mind terribly if I referred to this in one of my blogs. It fabulous. (I'd obviously link and credit you with the brilliance) I've been trying to get it together to write about different types of applications, and how different countries put resumes together ... well, differently. Mine would be so serious, and practical.
    *sigh* how do you do it?

  7. Tundiel, I was so inspired by this post that it got me moving to do my serious thing - and I did refer my readers to your piece
    Hope it's ok - please let me know if not.

  8. How do I do it? I guess I'm just a little nutty. *snort*

    Thanks for the referral though, I just read your post and think you do a marvelous job! I tried to 'follow' you, but blogger is being a pain again. *eyeroll* Will try again tomorrow. :)