W is for...

Winging it...

My approach to writing can be wrong

Tending to make up as I go along

But I cannot moan

As each to their own

And it works when my wits are long gone!

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V is for...

Verra Verra Sexy

Men wear trousers, women a skirt

But sometimes mixing it up won't hurt

There's no doubt a Scot

Is incredibly hot

When his kilt shows a butt that is pert.

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U is for...

Ugly Duckling

No matter the size of your hips

Or if you have kissable lips

There's someone out there

Who'll make you a pair

And will share your super-sized chips!

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T is for...

Tic Toc

In a departure from limericks for today only, I have for your viewing 'pleasure', a video of my ten year old daughter performing a dance routine that she choreographed herself for the song 'Tic Toc' by Kesha. If you can get through the video (it's under four minutes), you will hear yours truly saying my Taffy catchphrase. Originally,  I was going to read an old Taff post for my 'T', but I couldn't figure out how to upload the recording from my phone, and I have no idea how to use the laptop's recording facility...  *is technically inept*


 

S is for...

Stilettos

If you're wanting to make a big splash

Then try giving stilettos a bash

The flatties won't wash

So don't waste your dosh

Sexy shoes should be swapped for your cash!

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R is for...

Rood Words

Sometimes politeness really won't do

When all you want is to say 'bleep you'

With a little Taff rhyme

You can swear all the time

 And say 'duck you!' all that you want to!

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Q is for...

Quirky

I've often been told I am quirky

Which is better than being a turkey

My mind can be misty

It makes all things twisty

And that's when things can get murkey...

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P is for...

Prolific

My posts are hardly prolific

Just words on things unspecific

But I still have a go

Even when I feel low

So sometimes they aren't so terrific.

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I'm a day behind again, thank goodness for Sundays! Unlike the guy in the picture, I haven't been hit by the big bad flu bug. I've been sucker-punched by Mr Shingles, which explains my back pain and general feeling of malaise for the last two weeks or so. Finally got the right diagnosis and the proper meds today, so hopefully things will improve!

O is for...

Ooh la la!

When wanting a bit of 'how's your father?'

Don't let yourself get into a lather

No need to think

Just give a wink

Crook your finger and say 'ooh la la!'

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Not my best effort, but I'm still under the weather. :(

N is for...

Numpty

The minutes tick by 'til twelve o'clock

My brain feels like it's in a deadlock

Like Humpty Dumpty

I feel like a Numpty

By posting this utter poppycock!

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M is for...

More, More, More!

Holding yourself back can be a bore

Move in for a kiss (or three, or four)

So don't be shy

Give it a try

I promise you'll only want more!

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L is for...

Lagging

I'm a day behind to be sure

I've had a painful back to endure

But I do not care

As Sundays are spare

So my falling behind has a cure!

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K is for...

Kinky!!

Suspenders, stockings, and some high heels

Some food that may not be for a meal

Don something slinky

And get with the kinky

All your fantasies will become real!

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J is for...

Jack!!

If eyeing a pirate's your pleasure

Then spy on this one at leisure

It's no joke that Jack

Really has that knack

To give you moments to treasure!

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I is for...

Ice!!

If you're looking for a new thrill

How about something that gives you a chill?

Playing with ice

Could be your new vice

In the right place it can be quite a thrill.

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H is for...

Hello Boys!

If wanting to attract a male

Then showing some boobage won't fail

A push-up bra

Will get you far

But don't flash, or you'll end up in jail!

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A/N Apologies for not being able to answer comments at the moment. I'm laid up with a bad back and am not spending any time on the computer... hopefully will be back to full working order soon!

G is for...

Games

Blindfolds, handcuffs, and a handy whip

Lots of laces, with a well-placed zip

What fun can be had

When you're playing bad

Just throw away qualms and let rip!

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F is for...

Fantasy

Donning some clothes that are not your own

Take a new character as a loan

Sexy nurses and docs

Or a dancer that's hot

Will surely cause a gasp or a moan.

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E is for...

Erogenous Zones!!

To know where to place a kiss

Can be a case of hit or miss

Perhaps on the nose?

Or maybe your toes?

Get it right, and the result is bliss!

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D is for...

Dragons!!

When choosing a new family pet

It's hard to know what to get

Something cool and quite cute

And preferably mute

The idea of dragons was well met!

Pinky and Perky. *coughs*

Image self-taken.

C is for...

Cuddles

When life gets a little bit manic

Don't let yourself get in a panic.

When problems befuddle

Just have a few cuddles

(And be sure to make a few tantric).

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B is for...

Booty

I've tried so hard over the years

Amid lots of frustration and tears

The pounds go, then come back

So I'll never lack

Ample booty - it's a curse, I fear.

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A is for...

Acrobatics

I'm inching my way towards forty

And have never been what you'd call 'sporty'.

But you need all your limbs

To do bedtime things

Or else it's just 'nice', and not 'naughty'.

Er, not quite the jumping I had in mind...

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