Clothes Woes

So I asked for some blog requests yesterday, partly because I'm trying to blog a little more often but have been mostly clueless when it comes to picking a topic, but also because I had such fun when I did them before. Six months ago (wow, six months? It's been that long?) I did a full week of requests, with most of them being a little bit silly, but all of them being great fun to do. My first request this time around came from my good friend (and personal illustrator) Ana, who asked me to ramble about the fashion industry's predisposition to promote the idea that if you aren't skinny, then you aren't worth dressing nicely. Well, they weren't the exact words she used, but that was the gist of what she meant, I believe. I get a bit wound up on this subject, so Ana picked a good subject for me to ramble about....

Now, I'm a big girl, and always have been - it's just not in my genes to be slim. Even when I have been within my healthy weight range, I still had more wobbly bits than Mr Blobby. I've recently lost quite a lot of weight and am hoping to ged rid of some more before the summer arrives. And when I say quite a lot of weight, I'm talking stones here, not pounds. Well, obviously I have lost pounds, because that's how we measure our weight loss, but you know what I mean. Anyway, my almost-but-not-quite-three-stones weight loss (39lbs for you non-Brits out there) is great, no question, but if I walked into a clothes shop right now, I would be still be sniggered at by the snooty sales staff if I ventured toward the Trendy Section.

I've dropped two sizes, but I'm still a size 14 (well, on the bottom at any rate, my boobs push me into the size 16 bracket up on top). By the by, for my American friends, my size 14 is your size 18, and to my European buddies, that's a 44 (according to Wiki, at any rate).  I'm still around 20lbs overweight, and even if (when, Tara, when!) I reach my goal, I figure I'll only drop one more size. And do you know what, that still isn't considered the pleasing form for fashion designers out there. It makes my blood boil!

Fashion designers create clothes that generall only look good if you are skinny enough to squeeze through prison bars, and have boobs the size of ping-pong balls. And as for hips, well.... if you're unlucky enough to have hips that will actually allow you to give birth naturally, then you obviously don't need to wear fashionable clothes, do you?  What was that, madam? You wanted something nice to wear for your daughter's baptism? Here, have some shapeless trousers to disguise those roomy hips, and a lovely tent to drape over your bountiful bosom. No, I really wouldn't advise anything else, you're just not the right shape for it, dear.

*smacks Miss Stick Insect Sales Woman*

Even when you're shopping for every day clothes - you know, your basic t-shirts, jeans, that type of thing - you have to face the Mannequins of Doom in the shop windows before you can buy anything. Those awful mannequins that quite frankly are a wee bit scary. Look at me, Wobbly Shopper, I'm made of plastic, have freaky eyes that follow you around the store, I stand in strange poses that real people would never in a million years really do, and I'm just a little bit of an oddball. But who cares, because I'm SKINNY! Ha!

Or maybe it's just me who thinks that? *shifty*

And then we have the 'specialist' clothes stores and catalogues, catering to the needs of women everywhere who are bigger than your standard waif. These stores still use those Mannequins of Doom, and the catalogues use models that don't appear to have any extra wobbly bits at all. I'm betting they make the models' clothes in 'normal' sizes for the photo shoots, and then manufacture the masses in 'grotesque' size. I say 'grotesque' because, having ordered from a few of these catalogues myself, I have experience in recieving items that looked quite nice in the catalogue, but in reality looked like granny's least favorite flowery housecoat.

It stinks, it really does. I'm fairly happy with my size at the moment, even though I could do with losing a bit more weight. But all those fabulous clothes out there are still out of my grasp. Women are supposed to have curves! Why aren't there clothes out there that celebrate this? The whole conception that you have to be stick-thin to be beautiful is disgusting. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and every one of them has the right to feel beautiful, whether they are a size 6 or 26. 

So as far as I'm concerned, all you snotty sales staff and fashion designers can stuff it. *nods* I'm not skinny and I never will be, but if I want to show a bit of cleavage in a sexy top, or wear a little skirt that highlights my long (and yes, slightly wobbly,) legs, I will. You don't have the right to tell me what I can and cannot wear.

And as for you, Mannequin of Doom, I'm watching you. Plastic Fantastic you may be, but I'm the Real Deal. So there.

Don't forget - first person to post has to give me a topic for my next blog!