Saturday, 3 October 2009
Lamonized limed lemons...
A friend recently reminded me of a bout of insanity that I had a while back (Tami, you know I love you, right?). Of course, bouts of insanity are pretty normal for me. I'm one of those people who gets the raised eyebrow almost on a daily basis. Still, sometimes these bouts of insanity hit a rare peak and manage to entertain as well as cause The Eyebrow of Doom.
Lemons and Limes.
No, you didn't misread, you definitely saw 'lemons and limes'. I have a friend who spreads the teachings of Digressionalism (Mari, you know I love you too, yes?), and one fine day back in April of last year, we were discussing Harry Potter 'ships'. Now, for those of you in the dark, there is a wonderful group of (sometimes insane) people out there who call themselves 'shippers', and these shippers live in the fictional land of which ever book/movie/TV series they are currently obsessing over.
At the time of this particularly genius spurt of digressionalism, we were discussing Harry Potter 'ships'. What has this got to do with lemons and limes? I hear you cry (or at least I HOPE you are). I'm getting there, just bear with me....
'Ships' often have names, and these names are a merging of the two participating fictional characters (sometimes with odd results, Albus and Gellert = Gelbus, or sometimes just plain boring results, Harry and Ginny = H/G). Now and again though, we get a truly inspired ship name. The parents of Harry Potter were named James and Lily, so what do we get with that? Why, 'Lames' of course!
Stick with me here, I'm almost at the lemons and limes part, I swear.
As we discussed this name for the pairing of Harry's parents, and poked obligatory fun at the aptness of it, somebody else joined in and suggested 'Limes' instead of 'Lames'. At this point, we were getting a bit silly, I grant you, but honestly, silliness is thumpin' good fun for the most part, so I usually go with the flow.
Anywho, the wonderful Mari (who will be very proud of me today, I am digressing most faithfully), stepped in around about here and typed these immortal words: Isn't a lemon a lame lime?
And so the seed was planted, and I spent months of my life researching the properties of lemons and limes, and discovering how lameness affected them. (Actually, I just sat down and giggled for five minutes as I typed complete nonsense, but that doesn't sound quite so good).
Now that I've explained how we got there, I shall leave you with my thesis on lemons and limes, which was the whole point of today's blog. For those of you who stopped reading as soon as the word 'ship' was mentioned, good luck in your delusion-free life. For those of you still (painfully) with me, no, I am not currently making any plans for further investigations into the lameness of other fruits. I thought I'd do that next year.
Without further ado (thank goodness), I present my findings on the lameness of lemons and limes. Enjoy.
"A LIME is never lame. A lemon can be lame sometimes,but it all depends on the context. Lemon drops, for example, are extremely lame, but lemon meringues are far from being lame, especially if you add a bit of lime to them. But of course, adding lime to lemon cancels out any lameness that the lemon might have. On the other hand, adding lemons to limes can have the unfortunate effect of 'lamonizing' limes, which is, of course, quite scandalous.
Of course, NOBODY in their right mind would add lemons to lime, because if THAT happened, then you would have extremely lamonized limed lemons, and that would not do at all."
And there we have it. Don't you just love insanity?