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Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Monday, 17 May 2010

Dear Word....

Dear Word,

I have already had experience in doing battle with you, and have rambled extensively about your many annoying quirks, but today I am laughing at you. Ha! Ha ha ha! See, I'm laughing, and it's no mere chuckle, oh Irritating Adversary Of Mine, oh no indeed. It's a full on, laugh out loud, stomach-aching, almost-choke-to-death, big old belly laugh.

You first tried to defeat me with your army of red and green squiggles, but I found ways to avoid conflict. Ignoring is a good defence tactic, after all. Then you sent me copious Fragment; Consider Revising Missiles, but once again, I was able to deflect having mastered the intricate avoiding manoeuvres that are Ignoring, Sticking Up The Middle Finger, and Poking Out Tongue.

You'd have thought you'd have learned your lesson by now, but you had to keep trying, didn't you? For the last six weeks we have been engaged in a sporadic battle of headers and page numbers. Each time I thought I'd made a breakthrough, you'd sneak up and steal the advantage from me. Oh, you're a clever adversary, I'll give you that.

But not as clever as me.

Well, not as clever as my friend at any rate. *shifty*

You see, Oh Wily Word, I decided that our skirmishes needed to come to an end one way or another, and so I enlisted the help of the Facebook Fusiliers. All I had to do was request help, and help arrived. In the form of innuendo, no less (which is the best kind of help, don't you agree?).

And so, my defeated adversary, I have you licked. The Battle for Headers and Page Numbers is at an end, and it was little old me that was the victor.  So there.

And if you don't want to see me doing the victory dance (which includes shouting 'Yes!' repeatedly in an orgasmic manner, and hula-ing with the invisible hula hoop), then I suggest employing one of my favorite war tactics - that of ignoring. It works a treat.

Not that I'm gloating or anything....

Actually I am.

Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuuuuuh!

Sincerely,

Tara (I beat you, you sucker!) Smith

8 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
    damn word

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  2. Word has been confusing me for years. This amused me beyond anything.

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  3. Ana - exactly! Damn Word!!! *shakes fist*

    Marjorie - I'm so glad I'm not the only one Word confuses - and even more glad that this amused you. I was tittering like mad as I typed, which is usually a good sign. *grins*

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  4. Go to Tools + Options, then click the spelling and grammar tab. You can turn that pesky spell and grammar check off forever.

    I turn it on after writing a story to check any slip-ups. Nice post, ma'rm.

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  5. Hi I popped over this morning and loved what I saw. And I learned something. Thanks to one of your comments I am off to turn off that pesky spell/grammar checker forever.

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  6. 如果相遇.你會感到相知.那麼.有一種習慣叫做陪伴;如果陪伴.你會感到珍惜.那麼.有一種甜蜜叫做存在!......................................................

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Mark - if I turned off the spellcheck my work would be mostly illegible. I CAN spell, but my typing is pretty crud unfortunately...

    L'Aussie - welcome! Glad you liked the post! And it is so apt that you learned something not from the actual blog post, but from the comments. *snort* My posts tend to err on the bizzarre for the most part...

    韋于倫成 - I wish I knew what you said, but I can't understand it. Thanks for visiting though!

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