Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Saturday, 21 May 2011


So first I have to apologise because I've been avoiding blogland for the last two weeks. Not for any particular reason, except maybe I was feeling a bit over-blogified after last month's A-Z. I've not read more than a handful of posts in the last fortnight, and I haven't even attempted any blog writing for either of my blogs. Anyway, apologies for the absence... Bad Tara. *smacks wrist*

The 'B.L.S.' of the title is an acronym for 'Bitten Lip Syndrome' - a well known affliction that I'm pretty sure has affected each and every one of us at one point or another (B.L.S. is also rather apt because the letters form part of the word 'bullshit', which is probably one of the most common words I think of when suffering a case of B.L.S.).

*coughs* Anywho...

I'm a nice person. Really. I don't like conflict, I'm invariably polite, and I'd much rather zip my lips than spout a river of abuse. But sometimes I really wish I could be bad.  Not evil exactly, just a little more unconcerned about keeping things nice. Mostly I wish I could say what I really thought from time to time.


At the supermarket...

Random shopper: Would you mind if I pushed in? I have a bus to catch.
Me: Oh, go on then, *smiles*

But what I really want to say is : Tough! I've been queueing for ten minutes already and I don't see why you get to be served as soon as you reach the checkout. *pokes out tongue*

At work...

Customer: Excuse me, but do you sell [insert ridiculously stupid product which you can only find on some obscure website]?
Me: No sorry, we don't. Have you tried [insert something as similar to queried product as possible] instead?

What I really want to say is: Yes we do! You'll find them next to the other items that nobody wants, on aisle three. *accompanied with an eyeroll*

Then there's the really persistent idiots who won't take 'no' for an answer. Generally they are sales people, but this isn't exclusive. While they're busy trying to sell you something that you'll probably never need, you keep trying to speak the words 'no thank you', but they won't let you utter more than a 'n'. Usually I end up putting the phone down, or closing my front door - which is rather rude, admittedly - but if I had my way I would string several curse words together and finish my tirade with a fairly loud 'now duck off and leave me alone!'

Unfortunately,  B.L.S. tends to strike me on these occasions (which, in the case of work-related situations, is probably a good thing, granted). Of course, logically I know that this is unacceptable behaviour, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that I could have one day where my lips were free to form whatever words spring to mind. Without any dire consequences, of course. Maybe this mythical day would end with everyone's mind being wiped of the previous twenty four hours, thus ensuring that nobody would remember how obnoxious I was.

Man, that would be nice...

Image borrowed from here.


  1. Oh honey, I could use one of those days too. :-P

  2. Yup. Right there with you. I hate conflict and am a massive sufferer of bls - broke through it once, almost lost my job. Bad Laura!!!

    Know what you mean abou blog overload, I've been a tad remiss recently too - great to have you back! Are you doing BuNoWriMo?

  3. *hi-fives Leanne* Let's do it! *snort*

    Laura -If I said what I was thinking while I was at work, I wouldn't last five minutes...

    As for BuNo, I *want* to say 'yes', but I have an unfortunate habit of saying 'but' after any decision I make. ;p

  4. I think my mother would be horrified to hear me cut off salespeople, but honestly it's only in self defense, and I try to remember not to be rude about them interrupting my first fraction of a second of peace and quiet for the day. Glad you're back!

  5. Oh girl, don't we all! I work customer service for an airline, so trust me... i bite my tongue on a regular basis. And sometimes, just sometimes, I don't. And I don't feel bad for it, because some peeps just think the rules don't apply to them. And I'm not talking about just airlines rules, I'm talking about general every day life.

  6. Once you figure out how to get one of these days be sure and let us all know. I really could use one myself. *glad to see you back:)*

  7. Teacher over here! I'm surprised I still have lips left!!!!!!

    Great blog.

  8. Sue - glad to be back! And yes, they always seem to call when you get your first few minutes of quiet time, don't they?

    Pk - Customer service is a horrible job - I have come to hate the phrase 'ther customer is always right' because clearly, they're *not*.

    Louisa - I promise to share the secret of how to have a day like that if it ever happens to me. *grins*

    Alison - ha! I'm surprised you have lips left too! I'm pretty sure teaching is, if not worse, than at least as bad as working in customer service.

    Thanks for the comments guys!

  9. If only!!! :) Although, I'd be a little frightened at what might come out of my mouth given a "free day"...

  10. Oh WOW, wouldn't it be lovely to actually kick your inner censor to the curb just once? I wonder what that would be like? *imagines lynch mob bearing pitchforks and torches*

    Erm, never mind.

  11. I'm glad that ther's a lips that's help people give an idea ,,, very good job!!!!

    Procrastination Free Living