Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Saturday, 19 December 2009

The Best Laid Plans....

Psst! Don't faint from shock, but it looks like there might be a blog today! *gasps* I'm not holding my breath though, because every time I've tried to write my blog this week, something has cropped up. I'm not dancing 'till I get to the end of this post. *nods firmly*

I seriously cannot believe that it is the 19th of December. This whole year has flown by, but December itself seems to have all gotten blurred together. One minute it was December the 1st, and now we are well over half way through the month. I've done nothing but scrub, polish, sweep, mop, vacuum, wrap presents, write cards out, sooth excited kids, shop and just generally run around like a crazy chicken for the last two weeks. And this year was supposed to be calmer because I am actually fairly organized!

Anywho, I am going to try and blog about an actual subject today, and hopefully I can get it done before the kids wake up (they are both still sleeping, even though it is just past 9am - yay!).

Ugh! I typed the above almost an hour ago! As soon as I typed 'yay', my daughter came into the room and I've been Ellied for the last 45 minutes. I shouldn't moan though, as the fact that I was Ellied so badly is because she's not very well, poor thing. She's got that awful stomach bug that's flying around, and she's most upset that she is ill because it is interfering with the Birthday Excitement (two more sleeps!).  Actually, I had planned to blog last night because the hubby was out, but because Ellie was ill my plans were scuppered.

Anyway, daughter is now snuggled up in my bed watching the Disney Channel, and son is eating his breakfast (yes, he has now joined the waking world also), so I shall endeavor to continue today's blog. Now, where was I? Oh yes, a subject.


*thinks some more*

*brain begins to hurt*

Aha! I know! (Actually I don't know, but I'm hoping that by typing 'I know!' I may prod my brain into thinking of something).

Since typing the above, the phone has rung (you see what I mean by things getting in the way all the time?). Another bloody sales call. *glares at phone* Still, as annoying as they are, I am thankful that the phone interrupted my blog, because I definitely have a subject to ramble about now. Issallgood like, innit?

Bloody sales calls. I get them about six times a day. And it's not restricted to the phone either, I get people knocking my door too. And every time I go shopping, I get pestered by people trying to get me to join the RAC or the AA (I don't have a car, and I can't drive, for duck's sake!!). 

Door Knockers.

When I say 'Door Knockers', I am not referring to actual knockers (or even knockers, which is a slang term for boobs), but to those people that knock your door armed with clipboards and an anorak.  Nine times out of ten, they are trying to sell me double glazing. *rolls eyes* Honestly, if I had the money to replace my decrepit windows, don't you think I would have done it by now? And seriously, do you expect me to have a spare few grand in December? I think not. I don't have a spare tenner half the time, never mind anything else.

Then there are the Jehovah's Witnesses. Now, I have to be careful here because I don't want to give offence, but honestly, I really hate it when Jehovah's Witnesses knock my door and give me one of their leaflets. I am not, nor ever have been, a religious person. I'm not actively against religion, and think that everyone is entitled to believe in whatever they choose, but I hate it when people try to ram it down my throat. Jehovah's Witnesses are the worst culprits. You don't see any other religious community sending out their followers on door-to-door converting missions, do you? You don't get people knocking your door and asking you to praise Allah or some such thing. But Jehovah's Witnesses are scarily frequent in their attempts to convert the masses. And do you know what the most annoying thing is? They're always so nice about it. They knock your door and smile warmly when you open it, then they gently place a leaflet in your hands and invite you to their next meeting. Even when you say that you really don't think that you'll be converting any time soon, they still smile warmly, and you feel like a heel for dismissing them.

Phone Calls.

Like I said, I get about six a day. The hottest subject at the moment is free holidays. Apparently, my phone number has been randomly selected and is now in the running for an all expenses paid trip to somewhere very exotic. The most extraordinary thing about this is the fact that my phone number has been 'randomly selected' about three times a week for the last month. Bloody hell, how lucky am I? *snorts*

The next hottest subject is insurance. *rolls eyes* Life insurance, home insurance, buildings and contents insurance, car insurance, pet insurance, accidental injury insurance.... you name it, and I've had somebody try to sell it to me. Bugger off, insurance sales people! I. Am. Not. Interested.

Level with the insurance people are the utility sales people. Don't knock my door and don't phone me any more, please, I'm begging you. Yes, your sales pitch is very good, and yes, you are currently the cheapest on the market for your gas and electricity supplies, but I still don't want to know. You may be cheapest at the moment, but by the time the supply gets switched over and I have re-arranged my Direct Debits, six to eight weeks will have passed, your prices will be on the higher end of the market, and my original supplier will be phoning me and asking me to come back because THEY are now the cheapest on the market.

(*snorts profusely* I just had another sales call while I was typing that. Talk about speak of the devil....)

I think I'll end it there. Honestly, I've been trying to do the blog for almost two hours now, and all I've had are interruptions (I just got Ellied again, apparently 'funny things are happening to me mum, like my eyes going dizzy and my leg vibrating' [don't ask]). 

I was going to mention that I should be able to blog tomorrow, even though it's a dreaded Sunday, but although I am still mentioning it, I am not promising. My plans have gone awry (*winks at Tami*) all week, so it's best not to bank on anything going smoothly....

Ooh, almost forgot! I have written a blog - finally! - so I have to dance, don't I?

There, never let it be said that I don't dance when I've said I would.


  1. Ha! You start with Best Laid Plans you BETTER end with a dance!--that or a spanking!

    The roving converters HERE are Mormons--usually pairs of young men (and you do know the suggestions I NORMALLY give to pairs of young men) but they are just so INNOCENT. I'm afraid inviting them to the pudding pool would knock them right off their religion and then I'd have to go to hell. *sighs* *snickers*

    Hang in there!

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  3. *scratches head*

    Wonder if that was an auto reply for any old blog with a mention... seems to me there was nothing related to YOUR story...

    You've got yourself a beastie, Tara my friend! Way to go all controversial!!!

  4. Ehm... I have to seriously consider whether JJones even read my post. I mean, I never actually said anything BAD about JW, I just said that I don't like it when they knock my door. Bloody hell, I even said how NICE they were. Honestly. *rolls eyes*

    Tami, I would LOVE to see how those Morrmons would respond to your Tartishness. :)

    (Yay, I always wanted to be controversal! *snorts*)

  5. Totally with you! I thought you were very NICE talking about how nice THEY were...

    I had a friend in Portland who used to tell the whole BUNCH of religious visitors she needed to get back to ducking Satan... if you know what I mean...

  6. I have the very same problem Tara! People come to my door and try to sell me things, convert me, or help them win contests by selling me thing. One time I swear there was a crack head trying to sell me cleaner he swore was 100% natural. He sprayed the stuff in his mouth for cripes sake!

    I heard someone say once that he always told Jehovah's witnesses that he would gladly listen to them about their religion IF they agreed to listen to him about his afterward. He never got any takers. I'd try it only with my luck I'm afraid someone would agree, and then I'd be stuck with them for hours. :/

  7. Ducking satan? *dies*

    Marjorie - I'd be afraid of the very same thing. My luck would definiteky be for them to come in and listen to me, and seeing as I don't practice ANY religion, I would be more than a little stumped...

  8. My problem is my religion isn't any one religion. It's a compilation of the 8 major religions of the world and the mystical paths of each at that. Like I said, I'd be stuck with them for hours.