Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

*is doing it all over again*

Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone! Ima Nutcase here, your faithful reporter dutifully doing her thing and bringing you the latest news from around the world (or Cardiff, as the case may be). I have to apologise because I have been so scarce lately, but my boss made me cover some "important" stories over the last few months and I haven't been able to stick to what I know best. (Honestly, I kept telling Mr Editor that nobody was interested in British politics or Icelandic volcanoes, but he wouldn't have it, and forced me to report on them anyway. *rolls eyes*).

So here I am, back to my roots in the Kair of Diff, and about to meet up with one of my favorite victims clients. My faithful readers should be in no doubt of whom I speak of, for today's subject has been interviewed a few times before, and each time was very interesting. I am talking about, of course, young Cardiff housewife Tara Smith. Tara (who still insists she is 23) is, as I'm sure you'll remember, rather famous (or so she claims) for being a procrastinator of the first order, as well as a semi-regular blogger and part-time writer of innuendo-filled modern fairy tales. The last time we caught up with Tara, she was bemoaning the state of her NaNo novel because she had suffered some damage to her computer. You will be pleased to know that Tara (23), finally finished her novel, despite her setbacks, and even managed to get a decent laptop to replace her rather decrepit computer.

Now, six months later, we catch up with the young housewife and see what she has up her sleeves for the coming month.

Ima Nutcase: So Tara, what have you been up to since we last spoke to you?

Tara Smith: Oh you know, this and that. Well, mostly this if I'm honest, and not a lot of that at all, but you know what I mean.

IN: Quite. So you've not had a very eventful six months, then?

TS: Well I wouldn't say that. There's been lots of stuff going on, but I'm sure it wouldn't interest your readers. I'd much prefer to keep things of a private nature, well, private, if you know what I mean. I'm not one to talk, you know that.

IN: I see. So you don't want to discuss the last few months with your favorite roving reporter?

TS: Nope.

IN: Not even a little bit?

TS: Sorry.

IN: *pouts*

TS: I thought you might want to discuss things that are happening right now, you know, current events, that sort of thing.

IN: Well, if that's all you've got for me, I suppose we might as well....

Yes, dear readers, it seems that our twenty-something friend is not willing to discuss her recent history with us. But never fear, I am sure we can still get some interesting details about forthcoming events from our young Cardiffian.

IN: So, moving swiftly on, what can you tell us about what is happening in your life right now?

TS: Well, I have two pieces of news for you.

IN: Excellent!

TS: I'll tell you the smaller piece first, because I know how you reporters like to keep the bigger stuff for the end of the article, yes?

IN: Indeed. Always best to keep the climax for the finale, don't you agree?

TS: Oh yes, I quite agree. Well, the first thing I'm going to tell you about is my blog. I've decided that I will be using asterisked titles for all of my June blogs.

IN: Didn't you do that before?

TS: Yes! I'm glad you remember! I'm starting a tradition!

IN: A tradition?

TS: Yes, a tradition!

At this point, dear reader, I have to admit that your faithful reporter is somewhat confused. A tradition would imply that something is occurring on a regular basis, but seeing as it has been six months since the last time our young friend blogged with asterisked titles, this poor Nutcase is a wee bit confuzzlegasted. Obviously we need to pump for more details.

TS: Honestly. *rolls eyes* I'm leading up to my big news here, isn't it obvious?

Well, not really, no.

TS: Well the last time I asterisked all over the place, I was writing my NaNo novel, yes? This time I am writing my BuNo novel, which although has a different name, is basically the same thing.

IN: You're writing the same book again?

TS: No! I meant that NaNo and BuNo are the same sort of thing. Only I have to admit, I like BuNo better.

IN: Ah! *penny drops* You are attempting to write a 50,000 word novel this month again, yes?

TS: Yes! Only this time, my fabulous writers group are hosting the event. I thought that asterisking my blog titles for the month of June would be a nice little connection with the whole write-a-novel-in-30-days- thingy. Youknowzitmakezsense!

IN: *takes a calming breath and counts to ten* So you are going to blog this month using asterisked titles?

TS: Yes!

IN: And you are also going to write a novel?

TS: Well duh, isn't that what I've been trying to explain to you?

Quite frankly, at this point, dear reader, your humble Nutcase is feeling a bit violent, but being the professional person that I am, I resist strangling the youngish housewife and paste a friendly smile to my face as she starts rambling about her current project. I suspect that the Cardiffian has been at the vodka again, but I refrain from probing this issue as that would mean extending the interview, and quite honestly, this Nutcase has had about enough for one day.

IN: In short, you are blogging with asterisks this month because you are writing a novel, and that is what you did the last time?

TS: That's right, Ima, I am. Ooh, Ima, I am - that's kinda funny, isn't it? Ima, I am, Ima, I am....

IN:  *gnashes teeth * And what is the subject of your latest novel? Perhaps a sequel to your last effort?

TS: Er, actually, I'm still not sure.

IN: But shouldn't you be writing already? It is the first day of June.

TS: Oh pish posh, that doesn't bother me. I'll start writing something by the end of the day, never you fear.

As the young housewife takes a sip of a suspiciously clear-looking 'cup of tea', this reporter feels that the interview has come to a natural conclusion. As we pack up our equipment, we leave the Kairdiff Slag sipping her 'tea' and humming somewhat manically, and we promise her that we will be back to follow up on her current project.

Though honestly, if another volcanic eruption happens, I'll be begging Mr Editor to let me cover that instead.

Ima Nutcase, The Daily Ramble.


  1. Hahaha, Tara, I *heart* you, but you knew that, right? Poor Ima Nutcase!

  2. *glomps Mari*

    I *heart* you too my sluggy friend :)

  3. *claps*

    LOVED the interview, darling--though I think Ima went off for a stiff drink... or a stiff something, anyway...