Saturday, 26 June 2010
*is a failure*
Anywho, when I say a specific failure (which I'm quite sure I did somewhere in the above rambling paragraph), I'm talking about BuNoWriMo. You see, I was supposed to have written a 50,000 word novel in the month of June, but it's the 26th and I still haven't passed 10k. Tomorrow is a no-no for writing, it being a Sunday anallat (cooking, cleaning, general Sunday busy-ness etc), which leaves only three days of the month left in which I would have to write just over 40k words. Im. Poss. I. Ble. Thus *is a failure*
I don't quite know how and where I went wrong. Or perhaps I do, I just don't know why. Now, being a procrastinator of the highest order would usually mean that there should be no surprise that I have failed the challenge. I'm an 'avoider' by nature, and constantly put things off until the last possible moment. Why I do this, I don't know, but there we are. I know that I shouldn't do it, but can't seem to help myself. It's like when you are dieting and there is a cream cake in the bakers which appears to be glowing at you and labelled with a flashing arrow accompanied with a sign saying 'Eat Me, You Know You Want To.'
Anyway, like the glorious cream cake that beckons, I can't seem to resist procrastinating. Sometimes I shock myself and keep control over my avoiding tendencies - last year's NaNoWriMo is a perfect (and probably unique) example of this - but mostly I find myself slipping back into those horrible habits. These include copious amounts of cleaning (both horrible because it stops me from writing, and because cleaning is not exactly the nicest of jobs in the world), scandalous amounts of games of Bejeweled Blitz, reading fluff (which is a fairly new habit, but one which serves two purposes - one, it keeps me from writing *coughs*, and two, I can pretend that one day Mr Darcy will sweep me off my feet and pay homage to my boobage), and even more cleaning. I have no idea why I clean so much, because I absolutely loathe housework, but I still find myself endlessly polishing, sweeping, mopping and vacuuming on a daily basis.
The strange thing is, I was absolutely determined to write my novel this month, and was far more prepared than I was for NaNoWriMo. I wasn't at all concerned about the challenge. After all, I'd done it before, so I could do it again, right? Not to mention that this time around I had a core base of both characters and setting, and even a rough plot already worked out in my head. I should have breezed through it.
Rather than get all down in the mouth about it, I am going to shrug my shoulders and accept the fact that even the Best Laid Plans Sometimes Go Awry. *winks at Tami* There's no point beating myself up about it, and I still have almost ten thousand words written and saved on my computer. That's pretty good when you consider that I haven't had the best of years so far, and is in actual fact the only real writing that I have done so far in 2010.
So maybe I shouldn't name today's ramble *is a failure*, even though technically I have failed BuNoWriMo. I prefer to see it as a step in the right direction, and as my friend often says (another nod to Tami), baby steps, baby steps.... or just keep swimming.
Though maybe I'll leave it at baby steps. Being a scaredy cat when it comes to water, I can't actually swim. *snort*