Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Friday, 15 October 2010

Loopy Laptops

So it's 10pm on Thursday 14th, and I need to get something ready to post automatically for tomorrow (today, whatever) because I'm working an extra shift tomorrow (er, today) and it's an all-dayer. I'm also using a different laptop than normal because  - surprise surprise - my normal laptop is kabuggered. *mutters* I'm sick and ducking tired of having laptop problems... let me recap:

Laptop numero uno, well, this baby actually lasted me a couple of years before it started going loopy. First it was the overheating thingy, which was SO annoying because it would suddenly go off anything up to four or five times a day - and usually when I was in the middle of typing something. Grr. Then the keys went kaput, and we entered the boken keboa period. Ever tried typing without the use of half a keyboard? Not good. Six months or so I struggled before I finally - FINALLY got another laptop. Ok, so it was second hand - being on the breadline kinda stuffs up even the idea of a new laptop - but I paid £100 for it and expected it to last more than a flipping week.

A week?!?!?! Right before last year's NaNoWriMo challenge started, of course, so the timing was what I like to call Tara Timing (in other words ducked up).

It was months before I could even consider another laptop, so I had to use the hubby's computer for the interim (and also my son's computer, which was awkward for many reasons, not least the fact that the PC was in his bedroom, which is in the attic, and I don't like ladders (nor small rooms]). Hubby's comp is linked to the TV - a whopping 42 incher - and the strain of typing with such a huge monitor was awful. I'm a bad typist on the best of days, but my typo rate fairly tripled.

Anyway, back in February this year, we got two shiny new laptops (the joys of contract phones, yay!). Yay! I picked the smaller of the two ( a mere 10 inch screen), so the adjustment from the big screen was strange, but I got to love my little laptop all the same. I have everything set to how I like it, all my bookmarks are there, and it doesn't cause my legs to cramp because it is so light.

You know what's coming, right?

Last month it started switching off several times a day (bugger). It DOES boot back up, but only after resetting the bios thingy about six times (apparently, even though I reset it exactly the same way every time, it only likes it when it's on the sixth reset. Yeah, it's tormenting me, I know it is).

What is it with laptops?? What is it with ME and laptops? I mean, did I do something awful to a machine in a previous life? Maybe it's revenge. I don't know, I just know that I'm bluddy peeved at the whole thing. A simple, easy to use, working laptop. It's not a lot to ask.

I think they make them these days to last six months and that's it, just to make you spend money on repairs or an upgrade. But I don't have the money for repairs or a frigging upgrade, Stupid Laptop Manufacturers!!!

I live in a tiny house, have crappy wages, usually have more money going out than I have coming in, and any money that I DO have to spare on those rare occasions goes on silly things like, you know, clothes for the kids and food for our bellies.

So you see, Stupid Laptop Manufacturers, I would like to get a book finished and PUBLISHED so that I can earn some extra cash. In order for me to do that, not only do I have to curb my procrastinating tendencies, I also need a working laptop!! I was almost too scared to start using the last remaining working laptop in the house ( I now have three gathering dust in the corner, plus the son's computer is naffed too (I think I may have done it, actually *shifty*) in case it blows up or something.

I think they're allergic to me. Or me to them.

Anyway, I have three words to say to those Stupid Laptop Manufacturers, who, despite the alleged allergy problems, I'm holding responsible for my laptop woes:

Sort it out!!!!

PS - Blogger is being a pain again with the commenting section, so the same thing goes to you, Mr. Blogger - sort it out!

(Oh, in case you thought I'd steered away from the blogging challenge, this was Tami's final suggestion - a good old-fashioned rant *nods and pokes out tongue at Stupid Laptop Mnufacturers*).


  1. shouldn't that be the boken keyboa peio?

    I think you must have a magnetic plate in your head that messes them up. You really DO have rotten luck.

    I'm really sorry you are having troubles again! I hope they get sorted out fast!

  2. Tami - "shouldn't that be the boken keyboa peio" - ha! *snort* And yup, me and laptops really aren't a good combination at all....