Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Monday, 9 November 2009

*thinks there's nothing quite as funny as a wobbly sausage*

Posting this one a few hours early in an effort to cheer Tami up. So this is Tuesday's blog, even though it's still Monday...*shifty*

When I put in a request for, erm, requests the other day, there was a little voice in the back of my mind telling me that if a certain person (and when I say 'certain person', I of course mean our very own Watery Tart, Tami) posted a suggestion, it would definitely be something highly linked to innuendo. My fine friend didn't disappoint me. She suggested today's topic of wobbly sausages, which is brilliant because, well, it's funny.

One of my favorite comedy duos from the 1990's were Punt and Dennis. I've tried finding some of their gems on You Tube, but alas, most of the links are for the serial sketches, and not all of them are there. Anyway, I have an old video of one of their tours (The Milky Milky Tour - if ever you see it, buy it, seriously...), and during the show, Steve Punt is performing a monologue (which is typically funny), when suddenly Hugh Dennis walks on to the stage waving a jumbo sausage. Dead-pan, he utters the immortal words "There's nothing quite as funny as a wobbly sausage'. Of course, he wobbled the sausage a bit too vigorously and it snapped in two (always a danger), but honestly, that just made it funnier.

Yes, I know,. It's juvenile humour, but I don't care. Ever since then I have been a fan of wobbly sausages.

Sausages, especially wobbly ones, are a prime subject for innuendo, and innuendo is one of my favorite things in the world.  Now, I've got a VERY dirty mind. Honestly. I see filth in the most innocent of situations, and once I start laughing, there's no stopping me. But wobbly sausages bring a whole new meaning to the word 'innuendo' . Just try it. Insert a sausage (*snorts*) in to a song or movie title, and nine times out of ten, you will get smut (which is awesome). You could try another similarly phallic item, such as a 'banana', which will work quite nicely for the most part, but inserting a sausage will usually do the job MUCH better (*coughs*).

Some quick examples... let's try some movies:

1 - Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Sausage
2 - Lord of the Rings - Sausage of the King (my personal favorite *winks*)
3 - Rebel Without a Sausage *lights candle*
4 - King Solomon's Sausage
5 - Night of The Living Sausage (live sausages are so much better during the night, don't you think?)

Anywho, I could sit here all day thinking up alternative movie titles, so I'd best be moving on from that....

Sausage search on Google images...

Loooordy. I almost died laughing going through these images. Of course, some of them were far too smutty to put in my blog, but some of them were truly inspiring, not to mention ideal for a bit of sausage-innuendo-y fun.

Here we have the cross-dressing sausage (Tami, this one's for you). If ever there was a sausage that begged to be the cause of much innuendo, it's this one. I particularly like the pink tutu.

I think my favourite find though, was an advert for Dick's Deli. I have no idea where Dick's Deli is, but I want to shake this guy by the hand and congratulate him on his philosophy (not to mention his innuendo-filled advert).

I could keep going here, because sausages, be they wobbly or not, are a topic that will never be boring (at least to me), but I'm going to finish playing with wobbly sausages for the moment (*shifty*) and get back to what I should be doing... unfortunately there aren't any wobbly sausages at ALL on  my list of chores for today.  Pity.*sighs*

The next request has already been noted, that of 'beer'. Apologies to Ana for missing it... beer blog will be here tomorrow (er, Wednesday). :)


  1. Beer!!!!

    Yay I was first ... now I'll read and then comment

  2. Lord of the Rings - Sausage of the King ---- hahahaha *dies laughing* it brought: Pirates of the Caribbean - Curse of the Black Sausage Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead man's sausage
    pirates of the Caribbean - At the Sausage's end ... LOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDY (the new one is POTC - On Stranger Sausages)

  3. Hahahaha! This was hilarious. Loved all the innuendo, song and movie titles. Brilliant blog entry!

  4. Oh this was FABULOUS Tara! I LOVE the tutu sporting sausage! I LOVE it when those sausages dance like I like!

    Bloody BRILLIANT post! So thank you!!!!!!

    *laughing at Ana's movie suggestions*

    At our house we have Gone with the Sausage, It's a Wonderful Sausage, and My Sausage Vinny.

  5. Hahaha, I was going to put Gone with the Sausages, but I had to stop myself. I could have posted alternative movie titles all day...*snorts*

    Thanks Tami! And Chary too! *glomps* And Ana, lorrrdy, those POTC ones are AWESOME! *dies*