A couple of years ago I experienced the power of slang. Or rather, I realized just how funny it was. I was having a conversation on MSN with an online buddy (who happened to be American), and if she laughed even a tenth as much as I did, then she probably almost wet her pants.
We were discussing the differences between American English and British English. The reason we got on to the subject was because I was trying to describe my favorite breakfast fare, and had to resort to google images to show what I meant. My friend giggled as she told me that they were called 'English Muffins', when all along I had been calling them crumpets (which was the correct term for a Brit). My friend laughed even harder when I told her that 'crumpet' was also a slang word we used over here for the old 'rumpy pumpy' activity. She was most amused at the idea that I liked to eat sex for my breakfast.*snort*
Anyway, after the crumpet conversation, we moved on to slang in general, and I shared some of the famous Cockney slang that, contrary to its name, is used all over the UK. I thought I'd share some of the best ones on today's blog, so coming up is a list of some of the funniest and/or oddest terms that the Cock-e-nies came up with so many years ago.
1 - Apples and pairs = stairs
2 -Cream crackered = knackered (very tired)
3 - Canterbury Tales = Wales
4 - Cherry pie - lie
5 - Curry and rice = nice
6 - Deep fat fryer = liar
7 - Dog and bone = phone
8 - Daffy Ducked = er, they rhyme so I surely don't need to type the actual word here...
9 - Eiffel Tower = shower
10 - Eggs and kippers = slippers
11 - Lemon tart = smart
12 - Long and flexy = sexy
13 - Pants and vest = chest
14 - Paraffin lamp = tramp
15 - Peas in a pot = hot
16 - Petrol pump = hump
17 - Scotch eggs = legs
18 -Small geezers = malteasers (malteasers have been described as being like American Whoppers, they're really yummy chocolate covered honeycomb balls).
19 - Strawberry tart = heart
20 - Two-thirty = dirty
Now I am going to attempt a short paragraph using a few of the above examples. *grins shiftily*
I was so peas in a pot last night that my Scotch eggs were sticking together. Luckily I saw a peas in a pot guy who helped to take my mind off the heat. My strawberry tart pumped wildly in my pants and vest as I gazed upon his handsome face. Wow, he's really long and flexy! I thought to myself. I wouldn't mind parking my eggs and kippers next to his! Unfortunately, he didn't want to lead me up the apples and pears, so I got the petrol pump and decided to get two-thirty with another long and flexy guy. Maybe that makes me a paraffin lamp, but I prefer to think of myself as a lemon tart kind of lady. But before I started searching for my future Mr. Long and Flexy, I decided to eat some small geezers first. And very curry and rice they were too!
I love slang....*giggles*