Warning - Some posts may cause choking, spitting of beverage and /or a severe giggle fit. This advice brought to you by regular reader Louisa.

Friday, 13 November 2009

*takes booby prize*

It had to happen at some point. There had to be at least one blog suggestion that would completely stump me, and this is it.  My "Australian" blog almost made the Stumped List, but I managed to fudge my way through it by slightly tweaking the parameters. I'm having to do the same thing today, because the suggestion that I am supposed to be blogging about is 'bra sizes'. I'm just going to pretend that the word 'sizes' wasn't mentioned, and go with 'bras' instead. It's not really breaking the rules. is it? *shifty*

When I am unsure of what I am going to blog about, I take a look at google images, and usually I am able to find something interesting/funny/odd to stimulate the old brain. As you can imagine, searching for bra images threw up some, erm, unsuitable, images that I wouldn't be comfortable displaying on a public blog. However, there were some snort-worthy pictures amongst the smut, and they are going to come in handy for today's ramble.

The very first image that I came across was slightly disturbing. The Bacon Bra is definitely not something I would choose to wear myself. Wearing raw animal against my bare skin would be a complete turn-off (though I'd hazard a guess that if it was cooked bacon, the hubby might be interested *snort*). On the plus side, it puts me in mind of the scene in 'Hot Shots' where Charlie Sheen is frying his breakfast on his girlfriend's sizzling belly, so at least I was amused, as well as slightly disgusted.

Next up was something that just made me roll my eyes in that "Lordy, they'll try anything to sell something" kind of way. The iPod bra *snort* is another item of clothing that I'm not going to be wearing any time soon.It puts me in mind of one of the silliest sayings I have ever heard. In my neck of the woods, when we get really cold weather (and certain parts of our bodies, erm, react), most men will say to an affected woman: "Can I tune in Radio 1 on those?". Funny for the first few times that you hear it, but after a thousand or more times, not so much. If I wore the iPod bra, my hubby would never let me hear the end of it.

My next bra is a nod to the person who suggested bras as a topic in the first place. I present the Pumpkin Bra. I'm not sure how comfortable this bra would be, and finding the right size could turn into a bit of a problem, but for a novelty costume at Halloween, this item of underwear ticks all the right boxes. I wouldn't advise putting a candle inside these pumpkins though, or things could get pretty painful, pretty fast.

Now we arrive at the inevitable Animal In A Bra picture. I came across plenty of cats and dogs sporting bras of various shapes and sizes, but as soon as I saw this little fella in the hot red over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, I knew I'd have to add it to my pictures folder. I don't really have any other comment to make about this one, I just added it because I liked it.*grins*

The penultimate bra that I am sharing with you is an advert. Now, I'm not sure if it's a real advert or not, but if it is, I'm a bit scared.  I mean, a bra that's over three feet wide? I can't even image what cup size that would be... double Z probably. *faints*

Whether it's real or not, it's definitely false advertising because I found the REAL biggest bra in the world.*nods* Even the Dolly Partons of this world would never be able to fill the cups on this mammoth mammary holder. Makes you wonder what the heck people were thinking about when they made it. I've seen some strange things in my time, but this has to be on the list of most pointless things ever made. Funny, though.

Actually, that big bra wasn't the last bra of this post.... I just remembered that I was going to post a drabble that I wrote last year. This drabble was inspired by the age-old  question that we women have to ask ourselves every once in a while (unless you are a nudist, that is, which is something I'm not brave enough to contemplate).

Black can be boring, while white is virginal. I'm neither boring OR virginal. But I'm not a lace and frills type either. What to do, what to do...
I don't want strapless, that wouldn't do at all. These puppies would be scampering all over the place. And t-shirt bras are SO
plain. I want to excite him, not send him to sleep! Maybe red? No, definitely not. Might as well stamp 'desperate' across my head. But what about pink? Pretty, yet subtle. A little bit different, but not too bold. Just like me, in fact. Yes, pink will do nicely.

I think I'll leave it there. Probably the best thing to do, if truth be told. One last thing before I post, though. After a severe lack of suggestions the other day, I had to resort to Facebook advertising to get today's topic.  I had two suggestions within a few hours, and when I checked again this morning, there was another one added. I've used up the first suggestion, but I don't want to waste the other two. I propose a vote. The choice is 'Taffies' or 'deep fine legs'. Which ever one has the most votes will be blogged about as my final request. The ball's in your court, so choose wisely....


    Excellent!!!! I really enjoy your blog!! ... I will not suggest anything and I'll leave the opportunity open to another person.

    Sirius - I want a Pumpkin bra!
    Ana - *glares totally*

  2. I was so disappointed that the first one was bacon instead of frosting. I mean a FROSTING bra couls lead to all SORTS of tartish entertainmnet.

    I've never approved of bras much... as uncomfortable a contraption as I can think of... other than pants, I mean, but I was convinced to wear a coconut bra on a dinner cruise in Hawaii once. it was itchy (bad) but at least inside those puppies it wasn't too binding, unlike those monstrosities they sell in department stores.

    So tomorrow I wanna hear about the Taffies.

  3. I vote for Taffies as well! And I <3 that you have your blog topics up for suggestions. I'd love to make one (if I could only think of one), but I never seem to be able to use my time zone advantage the way it was intended. Either I have to guard your blog like a mad dog; or you have to extend the amount of time you're taking suggestions; or I'll have to make suggestions even if you haven't asked... A combination might be in order...

  4. *gives Sirius a pumpkin bra*

    *hides from Ana*

    Tami, I'm witho you on this. I HATE bras, and if I could get away with it, I wouldn't wear one. Unfortunately it actually hurts when I *don't* wear one. *mutters*

    Mari - awww, I'll tell you what - you can suggest one for tomorrow (if you see this). Officially, today's blog should be the last of the requests, but you know how flexible I am when it comes to rules and stuff :) Plus I'd really love to have a suggestion from you!

    So far the tally is Taffies 2, Deep Fine Legs 1 (Issy voted on facebook as she has problems trying to post in here). I won't be doing today's blog for at least another six hours or so, so there's still time to vote....